Here to Stay
by FallingInLoveInDecember
Summary: Bella and Jacob have been married for six years when he dies suddenly, revealing a long going affair. Edward is her best friends brother in-law who recently started at his families law firm. Jasper knew about the affair and caused Bella to pull away from Alice. Will Edward be able to bring her out of her grief and will her to trust again, even with Jacob haunting her?
1. Hot and Cold

**I have four chapters written so far, I will be doing my best to set Sunday as my scheduled update date. If I come into problems of longer posting periods I will let you know, though I am shooting for a goal of posting weekly. Save Me will still be updated every Friday, sometimes Thursday nights. Thank you to my faithful and new readers!**

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Today marked the sixth year of my marriage to Jacob Black. In those six years we have built a life full of happiness, surprises, and great love. On the fireplace mantle were seven pictures, like a time capsule of our life together. The first picture was of us on our first date. I met him in college, our relationship starting out strong after finding out we came from the same small town. He grew up on a reservation that bordered the town I lived in, which made it feel normal that we had never met beforehand. We didn't grow up in an overly populated area but I went to public school while he was enrolled into a private school that offered scholarships to children who lived on the reservation. We were both accepted to the top state college on scholarships, each of us determined to make something of ourselves and to leave the wings of our parents. The first day of school I had walked straight into his solid body, my eyes focused on the schedule in hand instead of the path I was walking, which in return sent his arm full of books to the ground before us. I apologized profusely while he laughed with good humor. While we were both bent to pick up the fallen objects, he announced I could make it up to him by going to dinner with him. Shocked, I looked up at his face for the first time and was mesmerized. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. Dark hair brushed neatly, tanned skin, and eyes that sparkled with life. He cracked a smile at my obvious study of him, causing my breathing hitched. He was a good foot and half taller than me I realized once we straightened, his muscled shoulders looking as if they would tear apart the t-shirt that covered them. Jacob Black, he had introduced himself with a hand shake. The warm hand in mine left me wanting more. Everything about him screamed tenderness and safety. I readily agreed to the first date of many.

The second photo was our engagement announcement. We were inseparable three years after meeting when we found out his father passed away from poor health. I nervously went home with him for the funeral, surprised to see my own father attending. He was shocked to see me as well since I hadn't told him I was coming. Charlie knew I was dating a man named Jacob but he had yet to meet him. He often complained I was growing from him, while I always replied that children were suppose to grow away from their parents as they matured and found their place in the world. Jacob taught me to depend on him, and only him. I needed no one else to look after me as long as I had Jacob Black. Apparently my father had known his father in high school, they had been best friends that grew apart as life went on after graduation. That night, I gave Jacob my virginity in his old room, on the same bed he slept on as a child and teenager. He vowed to always cherish me, that he would be my first and my only. He produced his mother's engagement ring the next morning and without asking placed it on my finger. I didn't need the words and he didn't need my acceptance, it was expected that I would marry him after the night we had just shared.

The third frame was of us holding out a positive pregnancy test with glowing faces. Back at college, he seemed to grow another foot now that we were engaged. I felt cherished over the pride in his voice when he told people we were to be married. His arm always around my shoulders, hugging my body close to his. Two months later I realized I had missed a period and told him tearfully that I was pregnant. Instead of being upset as I had expected, he was overjoyed. He was boastful over _'knocking me up his first try.'_ That was the first I had heard that it was intentional. He had wanted me to be pregnant with his child. And I, instead of feeling anger over being unworldly and unaware of the consequence of unprotected sex, felt safe. I thought it was love that caused his actions. That he cherished me and wanted children only with me, we were to be married after all.

And married we were, as the fourth photo boasted our wedding day.

In my mind I thought of a small, intimate wedding with our family and close friends. Jacob had other ideas. He wanted the full blown big dress, flowers galore, _expensive_ celebration of our love. I dutifully nodded my agreement to his plans, only wavering when my father took out a loan to pay for the extravagance Jacob wanted. My father reassured me, I was his only daughter and weddings were a one time thing. It should be something to remember, Jacob agreed vigorously.

So our over the top wedding went as planned the summer before our final year at college, before I started showing. We spent two nights in the city for our honeymoon, which we couldn't afford but Jacob insisted we deserved. Our son was born six months later.

Jacob Eli William Black. Or EJ as I called him. He was a big baby, weighing ten pounds and twenty three inches in length.

We added another notch in our life changing moments. A fifth picture of us in our graduation gowns, my stomach large with our second child.

He encouraged me to quit school and stay home with the baby. It was the first time since we met that I put my foot down. I expected his anger but instead he laughed and indulged me. Telling me we would just take out more loans to pay for childcare, it was only a year after all. A year later, we did graduate together as planned, only my stomach was once more round with child. This time a girl.

Madelyn Josephine Black came screaming into the world weighing six pounds and measuring twenty inches long. Jacob's Maddie Jo.

With two children to care for, Jacob convinced me it would be best for me to stay home to care for them. Childcare for one was expensive, let alone two. I agreed this time. We started in a small apartment while he worked day and night for the first three years of our marriage. Our loans were payed off the fourth year and he received his best job offer yet. It also brought us back to our home town. I was overjoyed that we would be near my father, Jacob was ecstatic over the money he would be making.

The sixth picture was of the four of us standing before our new home. On moving day he parked in front of the largest house in the small town I grew up in. It was one I always admired, part of the historical society. I couldn't believe it when Jacob produced the keys and carried me over the thresh hold as our four and three year old toddled behind us. My father was worried we were living beyond our means, I could do little to reassure him except to say Jacob was taking care of us.

He worked in a new law office that was growing in reputation. Shortly after we moved I found out that his night job had actually been night school. The bill that showed up told me he had attended the entire three years we were living in the small apartment.

I was upset when I confronted him, saddened that he had lied to me about working and withholding such information. For the first time since we met, we fought. He was angry that I was upset with him for trying to better our family. Accused me of being jealous that he had continued his education while I cared for our children and home. I, in return, cried even more and apologized profusely. He left that night, announcing he needed space and would return when he felt I was appropriately contrite.

The seventh and last picture was of us with his co workers the day he made partner.

Today was not only our sixth anniversary but the one year mark of his partnership.

Maddie and EJ were staying the night with their Aunt Alice, my best friend from high school. I couldn't have been happier when I found out she still lived in town, engaged to a man she met in college. Jasper was wonderful, though he and Jacob didn't care for one another. They were complete opposites. Jacob despised the fact Jasper came from money, stating he couldn't possibly deserve the job he had because he didn't have it in his blood to work hard. He claimed Jasper was given his position because of who his father was, his families money doing the job for him. I never voiced it aloud, but I had suspicion the dislike was because Jasper and his brother in-law owned another law office across town and was Jacob's only competition. It was started by Jasper's grandfather, given to his father who had decided on becoming a doctor instead. It stood empty for many years till Jasper graduated and reopened the firm where his brother in-law joined him shortly after marring his older sister, Rosalie. I had yet to meet his younger brother because he was finishing his last year at Harvard. Jacob had scoffed at the information, stating once more that their fathers money had probably bought him acceptance instead of his own dedication. Jasper had also attended, as well as Alice. He was four years older than us as Alice met him her first year and his last, she loved him deeply. I could see why even if Jacob couldn't. Despite Jacob's obvious dislike for the Cullen's, Jasper was never anything but polite to me and kind to my children. EJ adored him, something Jacob had a hard time dealing with.

Anyway, Alice offered to watch the kids tonight so that Jacob and I could have a romantic night at home. Dressed in a daring red dress, something I would never choose for my self but it was picked out by Jacob. He brought it home for me, disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm over the name of the clothing line. To him, money meant class. Everything we owned was from a well known name. I could tell my father was still worried about our finances, but never spoke of it again and I could do nothing but shrug. I was merely a housewife, taking care of the house and children. Jacob was responsible for paying bills and handling our money. I had no clue how much we had in our bank account other than my card worked when I bought groceries.

"I'm sorry I am so late." Jacob came rushing through the door, hands full of more roses than I could count.

"Oh Jake!" I gushed for his own ego rather than enthusiasm over receiving the gift.

I took the flowers from him and shoved my face into their fresh scent.

"I knew you would love them." He grinned proudly.

I smiled at him and took a crystal vase out of the china cabinet to put them in. Once they were in water I took the foil off the roast I had cooked and carried it into the dining room where he was waiting. The rib eye roast was much more than we could eat alone, but Jacob insisted it had to show off six bones or it didn't taste good enough. I sat it in middle of the table proudly, surrounded with bowls of mashed potatoes and fresh green beans I had picked from the garden earlier.

"It looks amazing Bells, you outdid yourself." He stood and began carving the meat.

"Only the best for you." I winked at him as he placed a steak onto my plate before serving himself.

Once he was done I stood once more and filled his plate with the sides.

"I married you, didn't I?" He smiled widely.

I felt myself glowing over the love I saw shining from his eyes as he gazed at me.

We ate in relative silence, the mess from dinner forgotten as he carried me from the table. Upstairs in our bedroom, he discarded his clothing quickly and laid in our bed watching as I stripped out of my dress slowly. Wiggling my body around awkwardly for his benefit. Though I felt clumsy while doing it, he liked nothing more than to watch me undress provocatively. By the time I was left in nothing but my heels, his large erection was displayed proudly, one of his hands stroking it slowly. His thumb brushed over the head of it when I bent to take my shoes off, smoothing precum around the tip.

"Leave them." He said huskily.

I strode to him, crawling onto the end of the bed and stopped at his waist. Without a word I lowered my head and wrapped my lips around his tip where his hand had previously been. He wrapped my hair into a fist and moved my mouth for his own pleasure with me having to do nothing more than suck, lick, and graze my teeth gently as he pushed and pulled. One last grunt from him, plunging himself fully inside of my mouth, he came down my throat. I gasped and chocked a bit from the force of both his orgasm and having him so deep inside of my mouth and throat. He was panting when I lifted myself, wiping my mouth before moving to lay beside him. I lowered my lips for a kiss only to have him turn away so that it landed on his cheek instead of the lips I was aiming for.

"Babe, you just had a mouth full of my cum." He mumbled, turning his body away from me and climbing from the bed.

"Jake, where are you going?" I sat up quickly, confused.

"I still have things to finish in the office, got a new case."

"But it's our anniversary!"

Not to mention he hadn't touched me once.

"I only came home to have dinner with you. Would you have rather I didn't come home at all?" He snapped quickly.

He turned once his pants were back on and belt buckled. He smiled and reached out, his thumb tugging on my bottom lip.

"Don't pout, beautiful. I will try to be back soon." He kissed my forehead and left the room as he buttoned his shirt.

I sat stunned in our bed, wearing nothing but heels as the front door was opened and shut once more. I blinked away the burning tears with frustration. I was angry, but hurt more than anything. We hadn't made love in weeks, his hours now going long into the night. Most days I was barely conscious of him coming home at all, only waking to find him showering and calling out to me what he wanted for breakfast. The kids missed him, now only seeing him Sunday's after he returned from his ritual golfing.

"I love you." I whispered into the now empty house.

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 **I'm hoping you like this first chapter enough to be willing to read the next one! Come say hi on Face book: FallingInLoveInDecember Twilight Fanfiction.**


	2. Big Girls Cry

It wasn't very late yet, just going on eight. There was no reason to impose on Alice and Jasper any longer. They still had time to do something of their own if I picked up the kids now. I changed into a sweat shirt and yoga pants and left for my best friends house.

Ringing the doorbell, I listened to the giggles of EJ and Maddie as they played with one or both of my friends. The door opened and there stood a strange man with my five year old hanging on his back, my sons little arms wrapped around his neck. EJ was a miniature of Jacob, nothing about him resembled me. Currently he had a neck tie wrapped around his head and was boasting the biggest smile I had seen on him since Jacob had started working so much more.

"Can I help you?" The man asked with a bright smile of his own, hoping in place which caused my son to squeal with laughter as he bounced crazily.

"Down, horsey! That's my Mama!"

The man neighed ridiculously and shook his head as if he was shaking a mane like a horse would. I couldn't suppress my own giggle at his show as my son busted a gut.

"Chief EJ's Mama, a pleasure." He laughed, reaching out a hand for introduction.

"Bella will do. You are?" I asked with a raised brow, smirking.

"Oh, sorry. Edward." He squatted and allowed my son to hop off.

I marveled, watching as he straightened his arms to catch my son in case he tripped as he got off Edward's back.

"Go find those good for nothing cowboys, Chief!" Edward said in a pitched voice, neighing once more.

My son made ridiculous noises as he patted his mouth with his hand and bolted into Alice's living room where I could hear Maddie squealing as, I assumed, she ran from her brother.

"He is a riot." Edward laughed, moving aside for me to enter the house.

He closed the door behind me and once more turned to face me.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Maddie are the good for nothing cowboys." He smiled. "Jasper is the solider making peace."

"Of course." I nodded. "He has been obsessed with the wild west movies. I never realized my love of black and white films would result in such enthusiasm from EJ. Of course, once he found out he was of Native American decent, it was even more thrilling."

"He did inform me of his ancestry that makes him chief of all Indians." Edward chuckled.

"He grandfather was a tribal leader. His father would have been next if he had stayed on the reservation. Since he went to college and refused to move back afterward, the title went to his sister's husband. EJ doesn't see it that way though. In his eye's, his father is some Indian hero."

"Every father should be their son's hero."

"Yes, well, my husband detests being his hero for such reasons. He would much rather his son carry a brief case, and my father has him spewing out the Miranda rights to total strangers. That is also an annoyance for my husband." I laughed.

Edward scrunched his face up, not seeing the humor which sobered me quickly. I suppose to those who didn't know Jacob, they would think it harsh of him to hear what I just volunteered. This stranger was making me to comfortable.

"Anyway, how do you know Alice and Jasper?"

"I'm Jasper's younger brother."

"I heard you were coming home to work in the office with Jasper. Congratulations on graduating from Harvard."

"Thank you."

He gave me a smile though still seemed more reserved after my talk of Jacob. I felt a need to straighten my back, prepared for another person telling me the wrong doing of my husband. No one knew Jacob like I did though. He loved me, loved his children. He worked all day and night to provide for us. No matter what anyone said, I would never think badly of him or say a negative thing of him.

"Bella? What in the world are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Alice rushed to me, worry filling her eyes.

"Everything is fine. Jacob had to go back to the office so I thought I would pick up the kids, get them out of your hair."

"They are no bother, I love having them here. You know that. The office huh?" She gave me that look.

The same look she has been giving me since I informed her of his longer hours, of his middle of the night phone calls from new clients who had no respect for his personal life outside of work. He was dedicated to them though, which was why he was gaining so many new ones he told me. I was proud of him.

"Alice, don't start."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

She sighed as I followed her to the kitchen where we found Jasper with the kids. Maddie and EJ were sitting on the counter with a bowl of chocolate chip cookies between them. The three of them were munching happily.

"Major Cullen has made peace between the Cowboys and Indians. We are feasting in celebration." He grinned around a mouthful of cookie.

"Why don't you just stay? We were planning on having the munchkins all night anyway, we can make a night of it!" Alice suggested.

"You are bring them home? We haven't watched the movie yet." Jasper pouted.

"Jacob wouldn't like coming home to an empty house. He would wonder where I was."

"Then go back home, you can continue where you left off."

"He is usually really late by the time he gets back and has work in the morning."

"Tomorrow is Saturday." Alice frowned.

Jasper was looking between us, his eyes like a ping pong ball.

"Wait, Jacob went back to work?" He questioned. "It's past eight."

Now I had both Alice and Jasper frowning at me.

"I don't give him the third degree, if he has to work, he has to work."

"Jasper may get a phone call but he never has to leave this late in the evening, and certainly not every Saturday. This is what, his fourth in a row?"

"It's only for a few hours. He has new clients, they require more of his time. He is working very hard, Jasper. Surely you can appreciate that, you both have the same line of work."

"Sorry, you know we mean well. I didn't mean to make you feel awkward or anything."

"I just worry about you." Alice gave me a tight hug.

"Am I interrupting?" Edward came into the room, sensing the awkwardness in the room.

"Not at all, have you been properly introduced?" She asked.

"Yes, when he answered the door."

"He showed up unannounced like a bum on our doorstep a few hours ago."

"See if I ever surprise you with a visit again." Edward scowled at his brother.

"I think Mom and Dad would have enjoyed it more."

"So I can get more grief about not settling down like you and Rose? No thank you."

"Oh hush Jasper. You are always complaining of how much you miss Edward." Alice giggled. "Don't you let anyone dictate your life Edward. You only get one chance, do what makes you happy."

"Thanks Pix." He kissed her cheek as she beamed.

"Hey! Get your own wife." Jasper threw a piece of cookie at him which he promptly caught in his mouth.

EJ cheered for him, turning into giggles when Jasper shoved an entire cookie into his mouth with a scowl.

"Don't you trade sides, squirt."

"Uncle Jasper!" He giggled.

"Aunt Alice, can I stay here anyway? I don't want to go home." Maddie pouted.

"Don't you want to have breakfast with Daddy? I asked her.

"No. Aunt Alice is making pancakes with strawberries and whip cream."

"We could make those together if you life."

"No we can't, Daddy only eats cold cereal or runny eggs."

"Jasper, why don't you start the movie with Maddie and EJ?" Alice gave him a pointed look.

He nodded, picked up Maddie and patted Edward's shoulder to follow. Edward made more horse noises at EJ and chased him from the room.

"Bella, stay. Just this once." She pleaded, handing me a glass of wine she just poured.

"Alice-"

"Isabella Black! That man leaves you alone every night of the week, a whole day on the weekends that is meant for you and the kids. He never calls to let you know when he is going to be home or tells you who he is meeting with."

"Don't go there." I flared.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Her voice softening. "I'm just saying you should be able to stay here with me, just this once, without him being angry at you."

"I'll call him, alright?"

"Yeah!" She squealed and clapped her hands.

Once she left me to bring the bowl of cookies and another of popcorn in with the rest of them to watch the movie I took out my phone. I held it, debating. I knew he didn't like me to bother him when he was working, but I also knew he wouldn't like coming home and not knowing where I was. The kids were suppose to be at Alice's so that wasn't an issue. I took in a big breath of air and pressed his name.

I almost hung up before he finally answered.

" _Bella?"_ His voice was breathless, as if he rushed to find his phone.

"Sorry to bother you, are you alright?"

" _Of course, you never call, it worried me to see your name pop up."_

"I know you don't like me to call you while you are working, but I didn't want you to worry when I wasn't at home."

" _What? Where are you?"_ He almost yelled.

"I left to pick up the kids, since you were working I figured they didn't need to stay."

" _Then where are you now?"_

"I'm still at Alice and Jasper's house. She wanted me to stay over with them."

" _What for? You have your own home and bed to sleep in."_ He scoffed. _"Jasper indulges her every whim. Let me guess, they are telling you what a horrible husband and father I am to be working this late. Never mind that I am the sole provider and working my ass of to make sure you all have the best of everything."_

It was a well known rant.

"Of course not Jacob, they know how hard you work for us." I soothed, he snorted.

" _If you want to stay then do it."_

"Are you sure you don't mind? I will make sure I am home in time to make you breakfast."

" _Don't worry about it, since you and the kids aren't home I will just sleep at the office. There is no sense of going home if I'm not going to see my family."_

"What about your suit?"

I knew he wasn't happy, a hardness behind his words.

" _I always have a spare in my work closet."_

"As long as you wont be angry."

" _Goodnight Bella."_

"I love you."

There was no response as the phone call was ended from the other line.

"Everything alright?" Alice asked, coming back into the kitchen where I stood.

I removed my vacant stare from the wall across the room and focused on her.

"I'm sorry Alice, the kids can stay with you if you really want them to."

"You aren't going to stay with them?" She frowned with sad eyes.

"Jacob said he didn't mind, I'm just not feeling well."

"Alright." She sighed, not believing my lie.

I followed her into the living room a sad smile playing on my lips upon seeing Maddie curled into Jasper's side with sleepy eyes, a cookie clutched tightly into her small fist. EJ was on Edward's lap, bouncing excitedly. He was ever the ball of energy, and once he made a new friend he stuck to them like glue.

"Wow, Edward, did you see that?" He exclaimed when something rather loud came from the television.

"That was so cool!" Edward smiled indulgently at my son.

My heart broke slightly, wishing Jacob was more patient with our children. Edward didn't even know Maddie or EJ but he didn't seem bothered in the least by their presence and gave them the expected responses. I kissed Maddie and EJ on the forehead, rubbing my hand against their soft cheeks.

"Mommy will be back in the morning. I love you guys.

"Love you Mommy." They both sounded, eyes refusing to leave the movie Jasper had put in.

"Just call me when you are up and around Alice. Good luck with everything Edward."

"Night Bells."

"Nice meeting you."

I left the radio off as I drove home, walking into my dark and empty house. The silence seemed to echo around me.

Happy anniversary.


	3. Love The Way you Lie

**I apologize if there are more mistakes than usual for this chapter. I have a terrible cold and my eyes are feeling strained tonight. I will look it over tomorrow!**

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Alice and Jasper brought the kids home on their way to Jasper's parents house. They spent Saturday's with his family, this time Edward was here to join them. They invited us to come along but I declined, waiting for Jacob to come home. He was suppose to be home by lunch but it was now after dinner and close to the kids bed time and he still wasn't home. Just as I was beginning to really worry I heard a key turning in the lock of the front door and Jacob stepped through the doorway.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed in relief, rushing to wrap my arms around him.

"Well this is a nice greeting." He chuckled, hugging me in return.

"I've been worrying about you. You are late and didn't call me."

"Sorry Bells, the meetings this afternoon ran a lot later than I thought they would. I didn't even have time to send you a text message."

I looked up into his face and took in his bloodshot eyes, the stubble covering his face even though I knew he shaved this morning. His hair looked as if he had run his hand through it multiple times.

"You look exhausted. Are you hungry? I saved you a plate."

"I had a deli deliver dinner for everyone so I already ate, thank you though." Kissing my lips lightly. "Where are the kids?" He asked, looking behind me.

"Finishing a cartoon before I put them into bed."

We walked hand in hand to the living room. He leaned against the doorway, my body resting against his as we watched out children.

"They are beautiful Bella." He smiled softly and kissed the top of my head. "I promise, I wont be going anywhere tomorrow. We will spend the day together."

Warmness spread through me, days together were few and far between. Moments like these were why I never held onto Alice's words against Jacob. He didn't want to be away from us, he did it to give us everything he could.

I stayed in my place, smiling widely as he stepped forward and into our children view.

"Daddy!" They both squealed, jumping up from their spot and throwing themselves at him.

He chuckled with delight over their reaction, bending to lift one in each of his arms.

"Were you two good for Mommy?" He asked, giving them both a loud kiss.

"Yes!" Maddie said seriously with an exaggerated nod of her head.

"Daddy, Uncle Jasper has a brother!"

"Does he now?" He scowled a bit over the mention of his rivals name.

He did his best not to say anything bad about the Cullen's within the kids ear shot knowing how much they loved their Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. I couldn't help but appreciate his consideration for me and allowing them to have a relationship with my friends of whom he wasn't fond of.

"Uh uh, his name is Edward. He is going to work with Uncle Jasper!"

"I think I heard about that."

"He played Cowboys and Indians with me, he was so silly pretending to be a horse. You have to meet him Dad!"

"I'm sure I will, Buddy."

That was the end of the conversation as Jacob put the kids feet back to the ground and straightened.

"I'm going to shower while you get them into bed."

I frowned, my eyes following after him as he left the room. He usually helped with their bed time routine when he was home. He didn't even say goodnight, let alone tuck them in and say their prayers.

We weren't highly religious, and obviously grew up with different beliefs. Mine was church while he had his own traditions with the tribe. We compromised with the saying of an evening prayer and Jacob telling them stories of the Old Raven. That was the extent of our following the faith we grew up with.

"Come on you two, time to brush our teeth."

They ran to the Jack and Jill bathroom between their bedrooms and brushed their teeth while I turned down their covers. We sat together on Maddie's bed before EJ went to his own.

"Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the lord my soul to keep:

May God guard me through the nightstand

And wake me with the morning light.

Amen."

We spoke quietly together.

Kissing Maddie on the forehead, I covered her and turned on her nightlight before turning off her main light and leaving her door cracked open.

"Mommy, why doesn't Daddy like me?" EJ asked as I covered him.

"What?" I gasped in shock.

"Well, Mr. Edward doesn't even know me and he played and made me laugh. Daddy never plays with me anymore. He is always at work or on the phone."

"Daddy loves you very much. He works so that we have food and this house."

He stayed silent, nodding before rolling over and closing his eyes.

My heart was breaking as I went back downstairs to turn off the lights and double check the locks on the doors.

Going into our bedroom, I found Jacob with a towel wrapped around his waist, his body still damp from his shower. He was taking quietly into the phone so that I was unable to hear what he was saying other than the sound of his voice.

"Tomorrow, alright? I have my kids to take care of." His voice raising slightly enough for me to be able to catch that part.

I must have made a noise because he looked up, his eyes finding me watching him. He held up a finger, signaling he would be just another moment. I just gave him an empty look and went to my dresser to pull out a night gown. Pulling off my shirt and pants and placing them in the hamper, I reached behind to unhook my bra. I felt Jacob's hands there, beating me to the task.

"Allow me." He murmured, kissing my shoulder as he unhooked it and slid the straps down my arms slowly.

His hands followed the straps, covering me in goosebumps when they moved forward over my chest, his thumbs brushing over my nipples gently. They stood at attention, aching for more. I curved my back so that my breasts were pressing into his palms.

"I've missed you." I sighed, forgetting the sadness from EJ while Jacob's hands worked my body.

He stayed silent, walking me backwards till we were near the bed. I turned and laid down, my naked body on display for him. His eyes studied me, moving from my breasts down to my waist. I lifted my arms, reaching for him. I shivered as his eyes darkened and he dropped his towel to lay over me.

"Show me." He said huskily, responding to my statement from earlier.

I grinned, wrapping my legs around his waist as he entered me in a slow movement. It was slightly painful, having not prepared my body for his attentions. After a moment, I could feel myself growing wet, making it easier for him to slide in and out of me.

"I'm sorry, I just want you so badly." He groaned, knowing he acted to quickly.

Instead of speaking, I lifted my hips and met his thrust causing him to moan out.

"That's it, fuck me baby."

I faltered, not use to him talking like that while we made love. He was usually silent. Instead of turning me off, it spurred me on. I felt the tightening coil in my stomach, his movement growing erratic.

He lowered his body, crushing me with his weight. His mouth close to my ear, his rasping breath as he thrust harder sounding loud. I was so close, I wanted to cry out in protest when I felt Jacob release inside of me before I could achieve my own orgasm. He sighed and rolled off of me, falling to his back on his side of the bed while I laid there staring up at the ceiling while breathing roughly.

"Are you still on birth control?" He asked once our hearts slowed to a steady pace.

"You know I am."

I was confused by his question. He decided after we had Maddie that he didn't want any more children, having one of each was enough for him. I hadn't felt the same, even now longing for more. I wanted a house full of them though I wasn't willing to do so when he worked such long hours, not having enough of him for the children we already had.

"Do you want another baby?" He almost whispered his question.

"I did, but I don't think now is the right time."

"Why not?" Turning to look at me, his brow furrowed.

"Jacob, you are never home. I would be alone with a baby, the house to take care of, and two other children needing my attention. EJ thinks you don't like him." I blurted out, the previous conversation with my son being outed.

It stung to repeat those words to my husband. I knew he loved our children, loved me. The children were young though and didn't understand, assuming their father wasn't around because he didn't want to be.

"Why would you say that?" He demanded, sitting on on his elbows.

"He told me so, tonight while I was tucking him in. He misses you Jake, we all do."

"Jasper and Alice had nothing to do with that, huh?" He growled out. "Who is this Edward that EJ talked about?"

"Jasper's younger brother, you know this."

"What I don't know is why he was around my children, I don't know him."

"He was visiting Jasper and Alice, they didn't know he was going to show up. I met him, I wouldn't have left the children there if I thought there was something to worry about."

I was growing offended. He was doubting my judgment when he himself was never home.

"I'll be gone before you wake up tomorrow, only for a few hours." Anger edging his words.

He turned to his side so that his back was facing me without saying goodnight.

"Was that what the phone call was about?"

"What phone call?" He grumbled.

Did he forget I saw him, and why would he lie about it?

"When I came in for bed, you were on the phone."

"Sorry, I forgot about that. Yes, it was."

How could he forget when it happened only thirty minutes ago, and it was the reason he was leaving us tomorrow after promising he would be home.

"Jake.." I was about to ask him if he was lying to me.

I couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something from me. That there could be another reason he was coming home late and gone on the weekends other than work. It was Sunday, the office may be open for a few hours on Saturday, though it closed much earlier than what time Jake came home and never on Sundays.

"I love you." I whispered instead.

"Love you too."


	4. Unfaithful

"I'm going to put the lasagna on the table, would you mind grabbing the salad bowl?" I called over my shoulder to Alice.

She stopped by the house with Edward and Jasper on their way home from church and I invited them to stay for dinner. I knew Jacob wouldn't like it, but at this point I didn't care. He was suppose to stay home today, he promised the kids. Not only that but he also told me it would only be for a few hours and it was now dinner time without even a phone call to explain where he was or why he was so late.

Edward and Jasper had been playing with the kids in the living room while Alice and I spent time together, sipping wine and preparing dinner.

"You got it, Babe." Alice winked, taking a sip from her glass.

I chuckled at her and left with the hot pan. Setting it down in the middle of the table I walked to the living room to tell the kids to wash up for dinner. It was quiet and I soon realized it was because Maddie and EJ were no longer in the room.

"How can you not tell her?" Edward seethed at his brother, his arms thrown wide.

My steps faltered as I watched the brothers interact.

"Edward, it isn't our business. I have had suspicions for a long time, they were only confirmed today."

"She's your friend, shouldn't it be your business to tell her what we saw today?"

"I can't put Alice in that position. It's a strain on their friendship already."

"Jasper?" I stepped further into the room. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing." He said quickly, throwing a look at Edward who looked to be fuming at this point.

Edward's eyes shifted to me and his face softened, his eyes going from angry to almost pitying. I didn't like it in the least.

"Jasper." I said a bit more sternly.

I didn't know what they were speaking of when I had entered, but there was an inkling that it was about me.

"We washed our hands!" Maddie came into the room yelling, her hands stretched in front of her to show us all.

"Let's go eat then!" He picked her up, avoiding my gaze as he left the room.

"Edward?" I asked quietly.

He appeared torn, his mouth opening and closing a few times as he struggled for words.

"Edward, come on. Before dinner gets cold." Jasper's voice carried in from the dining room.

Edward looked down to his feet and walked out of the room, leaving me to follow after him.

I took my seat, glaring slightly at Jasper as he looked guiltily at his plate while Alice served everyone a slice of the lasagna.

"Bless us, O Lord, and these gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty. Through Christ our Lord. Amen." Edward's voice carried over the table, loud and clear.

He cracked an eye open to find me staring at him as everyone else lifted their heads and began eating.

He gave me a slight nod and lifted his own fork to his full lips. I couldn't help but watch them move as he chewed, his strong jaw creating a slight dimple in his right cheek.

"This is delicious." Jasper moaned, already half way through his first piece.

If I could count on past experiences, he would consume at least three large portions while his salad was left ignored. Alice always fought with him about eating his vegetables as if he were a child. He would pout and take the bite she demanded but no more than that.

"He never did eat vegetables as a kid." Edward smirked, as if reading my thoughts.

"Bella, I have some exciting news! I wanted you to be the first to hear."

Jasper smiled lovingly at her, grabbing one of her hands with his own. Edward looked on curiously, one brow raised with interest.

"We were approved to be foster parents! We will be welcoming a three year old into our home next week."

"Alice, that is wonderful! I'm so happy for you."

"I can't wait." Her face glowing with happiness.

She and Jasper found out she was unable to have children of her own shortly after their marriage. It took a long time for her to overcome the blow. She has always dreamed of a household full of children. She planned on getting pregnant right away and when it didn't happen, that's when they went to the doctors. They talked about adopting a baby but decided to try fostering instead. They desired to help the children who were already born and needing someone to love them. Babies were desirable, older children were often over looked.

"Three, that's young." I commented.

"Yes, he doesn't speak and is afraid of physical contact. No other families were willing to do the therapy that is needed, ours was the only home willing to accept him."

"How sad." I frowned, thinking of this poor toddler. "What happened to him?"

"We aren't entirely sure. We were told his mother was neglectful till he was finally rescued six months ago. He was found abused and almost starved to death. He is apparently unaccustomed to touch because he screams and flinches when someone tries to pick him up or hug him. He doesn't even say Mama or Dada, it's unknown if he isn't able to or just doesn't know how. It seems he was ignored much of his life, never talked to or held."

"There isn't a better home for him then. You and Jasper are wonderful with my kids. You have more than enough love to give."

"I hate to ask, but until he is settled and comfortable in our home we wont be able to have you or the kids visit."

"I understand. Just let me know if you need anything and when we will be able to visit." Giving her a reassuring smile.

I would never begrudge her when her dreams were finally starting to come true.

"I will make sure we still see each other, I could never stay away from these babies." She tickled Maddie who was beside her. "It isn't for another week anyway."

"I didn't know you wanted to foster." Edward finally spoke.

"I didn't really say much about it to Mom and Dad." Jasper admitted. "I know they wouldn't look down at us, but it was hard for Alice to see their pitying looks. I didn't want them to start that again. We are going to tell them right before he comes so they have time to get used to it without us around. I don't want to see Alice hurt, even if unintentionally."

"Well, I for one am very happy for you. To Jasper and Alice. Let your life be blessed." Edward smiled widely, lifting his wine glass.

"Jasper and Alice." I returned his smile, lifting my own glass.

Alice had tears in her eyes as she took a sip, gazing at Jasper with pure adoration.

The phone rang, interrupting dinner.

"Excuse me, it may be Jacob." I wiped my mouth with my napkin and sat it on top of the table as I stood and walked into the kitchen to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

" _Is this Isabella Black?"_

"Speaking."

I straightened myself slightly over the professional sounding voice.

" _Are you relative of Jacob William Black?"_

"He is my husband."

My heart began racing.

" _Husband?"_ The voice questioned, sounding slightly shocked.

"Yes, is he alright?"

" _Ma'am, we need you to come to the hospital. The front desk will alert us when you arrive."_

"What? Why is he in the hospital?" I was in a full panic now.

" _Is there someone you can call to drive you?"_

"Tell me, please! Whats wrong with my husband?"

" _I believe it will be best if we discuss this when you get here."_

The person hung up on me before I could protest any further.

"Alice." I whimpered. "Alice!" Screaming this time.

I heard chairs scraping back and feet rushing toward me. Edward was first to reach me with Alice and Jasper following.

"Bella?" Alice gasped, rushing to my side.

"Jake..." I gasped, my eyes rolling.

"Whoa there." I heard Edward murmur, feeling arms wrapping around me and holding me up though I didn't know who they belonged to.

"What about Jacob?" Jasper asked, a hint of something I couldn't name in his voice.

"I need to get to him." I whimpered, trying to pull myself away from the arms that held me.

I was unable to focus enough to know if they were Alice's or Edwards.

"What happened?" Alice asked.

"He's in the hospital. They wouldn't say, just that I needed to get there."

"Jasper, you will bring her to the hospital. Bella, I am going to stay here with the kids, okay?"

"Thank you." I sobbed.

"Bella, if you don't mind I would like to come along. If you need legal council for anything, I would like to provide it."

"Why would I need a lawyer?" I asked him, confused.

"You never know." He said in a rush, eyeing Jasper oddly.

"I don't care who goes, I just need to get there. Please, please hurry." I pleaded at Jasper.

"Let's go."

"I love you!" Alice called after us.

We walked out the back door, Edward allowing me to lean against his body for support. I didn't want to use the front door and chance the children seeing me in such a state. It would just cause them to panic unnecessarily.

Jasper held the door open to his backseat, Edward sliding into the car beside me instead of taking the front. Jasper got in quickly and we were speeding out of the driveway, down the vacant road. It was Sunday night. Families were sitting together around the dinner table, laughing and smiling at their loved ones. Jacob left me, he was in the hospital.

I whimpered over my thoughts, Edwards hand rubbing up and down one of my arms in comfort.

My cell phone started ringing, I hadn't even realized Jasper had grabbed my purse for me till the sounds from it drew my attention. Edward reached forward into the front passenger seat and handed it to me.

"Hello?"

" _Isabella?"_

"Daddy!"

" _I know baby girl, I know. One of the guys on duty called me, I'm on my way to get you."_

"Jasper is driving me to the hospital."

" _I just passed it, I will turn around and be there waiting for you."_

"What happened, why were you called and why is he there?"

" _You weren't told?"_

"No one would tell me anything, only to go to the hospital and they would tell me there."

" _Sweetheart, he was in a car accident."_

"Oh god, is he alright?"

He couldn't be if he hadn't called me and the hospital did it for him. While I had been angry with him because he wasn't home with me, he had been in pain.

" _I don't know much more than that he was brought to the hospital in an ambulance."_ His voice drifted, mumbling at the end.

It was his tell tale sign that he was lying or withholding information.

" _I'm parked now, I will be in the emergency area. See you soon, I love you."_ He hung up quickly, another sign.

"My father will meet us there." I said dully, tears falling from my eyes still.

"Her father is Chief of police." Jasper informed Edward.

Edward nodded, his focus on me.

"Lucky girl, you will have the Chief and two lawyers to make sure they are allowing you every right imaginable." Edward tried to kid.

It hung in the air heavily, no one even cracking a smile.

Jasper parked the car and we walked into the hospital, the men on either side of me.

"There he is, Charlie!" Jasper called out to my father who had been pacing in front of one of the desks.

I ignored all of them and ran to the front desk, the three of them hot on my tail.

"I'm Isabella Black, I was called about my husband, Jacob Black." I rushed out, my body shivering.

"I was told to expect you. Mr. Black is in room two zero four, the fe-"

"Thank you, we will go there now unless we need to wait?" My father interrupted her.

"Mrs. Black needs to speak to the doctors first." The nurse frowned at him.

I looked at him curiously while she called a doctor to let them know I was here.

"Hello, I am Dr. Biers. Are you Isabella Black?"

"Yes, I am."

"Jacob Black is your husband?"

He was studying my face, waiting for my answer.

"I already stated as such! What is wrong with my husband, and why can't I go see him?" I shrieked.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Black, we just have to be sure for legal reasons. Your husband was in a very bad car accident and brought to the hospital over an hour ago."

"My father told me he was in an accident already." I snapped.

I didn't want to listen to him any longer, I just wanted to go to Jake!

"I'm sorry Mrs. Black..."

"What?" I gasped.

"He is conscious right now, but I can't say for how long that will last. There was extensive damage, nothing I can do. He is bleeding internally."

"What are you saying?" I whispered, gasping for breath.

I felt Edward wrap an arm around my waist, my fathers around my shoulders.

"He's not going to make it. It could be hours or only minutes."

I screamed out, moving a hand to my mouth as I bent over in pain.

My father tried to pull me into a chair till I pulled away roughly.

"Get off me!" I screamed.

I ran from them all, looking at the blurred room numbers till I found the right one. A nurse was just leaving and I caught sight of him laying in a hospital bed as the door slowly closed.

"Miss? You can't be here."

"He's my husband." I whispered, eyes on the now closed door.

"I see." She said quietly. "Go on in, I will stand outside and make sure you aren't bothered. He is comfortable, I just gave him a dose of pain medication. He doesn't feel a thing." She looked at me sadly.

I nodded numbly, taking the one step it took to push open the door and enter the room. He was covered in a gauzy material from head to toe, only his face uncovered. There were tubes in his nose and arms, blood and fluid flowing everywhere you looked. I was now standing over him, looking at the bruises that circled his eyes, the bandage on his nose informing me it was broken.

"Jake?" I whimpered, placing my hand over his covered one.

I rubbed the tips of his fingers that peaked through, gasping when I saw his eyelashes flutter.

"Baby, can you hear me?" I asked a bit louder.

His eyes lids barely cracked open, but enough I could see his eyes searching for me.

"I'm here, I'm here for you." I cried, moving my face above his so that he could see me.

"Bell-" I heard a slight sigh, gurgling behind the whispered word.

"Oh god." I groaned before I could stop myself.

"I'm so sorry." I could barely hear him say. "I never meant to hurt you. So stupid."

"It's not your fault, it was a car accident."

"I love you, always have." He struggled out, the gurgling growing louder.

His hand twitched, raising slightly till it fell back down.

"Touch." His eyes pleading.

I knew what he wanted and bent so that my face was pressed against his, lifting his arm to lay it over me. I don't know how long I laid there with him, his chest forced up and down by machines. Never speaking or opening his eyes again.

"Mrs. Black, you have to be the one who decides." Dr. Biers came in, pointing to the machines. "It's up to you, but they are the only thing keeping him alive, not his body. I think he held out to say goodbye."

"I can't do this."

I clung to my husband, my cries growing hysterical.

"Leave! Just leave me alone with him!"

"Bells..." I felt my father place his hands on my shoulders. "Sweetheart, he's gone. His body is here, but his spirit has flown. He's looking down at you from above. Be strong for him. For Maddie and EJ."

Twenty minutes later, still laying with my husbands arm resting on me limply, I pressed the nurses button. A nurse, Dr. Biers, my father, Edward, and Jasper came into the room. Dr. Biers wrote in a chart while the nurse moved around the room and turned off the machines, taking tubes out of Jacob. My father stood at the side of the bed, Jasper on the other. Edward sat in a chair, his elbows resting on his knees while he watched me with glistening eyes. It didn't take long till I felt the slight rising and lowering of his chest stop.

"He's gone, Mrs. Black." The doctor stated quietly. "I will give you a moment."

"Jacob!" A shrill scream came from the hallway. "Jacob!"

The doctor and nurse rushed out, my father following behind them quickly. Jasper stood in the doorway as if he was guarding it and Edward stood to come to my side, blocking my view.

"What's going on?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Where is he?" The voice came again. "You have to tell me, I'm his fiance!"

"What?" I gasped, sitting up slightly.

I stared down at my husband. No longer present except for the shell of him.

No, it couldn't be right. This woman must be out of her mind.

There was a figure with blonde hair trying to push past Jasper who was holding his position strongly.

"You don't belong in here." He growled.

"Get out of my way! I have every right to be here with him!"

She was finally able to push past one of his arms and came barreling into the room. One of her arms was in a cast, a bandage covering her forehead. I could see bruises covering her face, but that wasn't what caught my attention.

Her stomach was round. Looking very pregnant, round.

"What are you doing here?" She screamed at me, charging forward.

Edward caught her by the waist and spun her around.

"I am legally representing Isabella Black. Unless you want me to have you arrested, I suggest you leave this room." He stated firmly.

"You can't do that! I belong here, not her! What did you do to him? You allowed them to kill him?" She was crying, throwing her arms and legs around as Edward held her tight.

"Who are you?" I managed to ask.

"Who am I? Like you don't know!"

I shook my head.

I had never seen her before, I had no idea who she was.

"Where do you think your husband has been all these nights and weekends? Are you really that stupid? He as been with _me_! He was going to leave you for _me_! Marry me and raise our child together! Now you have killed him!"

I couldn't speak, couldn't move. The room began spinning and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Shh, I've got you." Jasper soothed, a trash can thrust under my face as I vomited.

"Chief?" Edward spoke sternly.

"Tanya Denali, you are going to be escorted from the hospital. If you reenter or cause a scene, I will arrest you for disturbing the peace and trespassing."

There was a commotion, my fathers commands and her screams.

"Jasper." I whimpered, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry, I never wanted you to find out."

"It's true? You knew?" I gasped.

"I don't know anything about their relationship, if he promised to leave you and marry her. Edward and I saw them together when we went out to lunch today, that's what we were arguing about in your living room. Edward wanted to tell you, but I wanted to talk to Alice about it first. I have had my suspicions, I didn't want to hurt you." He paled as he spoke, looking down at his hands that were holding mine.

"You knew." I said dully.

His nod once more affirming my statement.

"Get out." I spit out through gritted teeth.

"Bell-"

"Get out!" Screaming this time and pushing him away. "Both of you, just leave!"

"I can't leave you here like this." Jasper pleaded.

I turned away from him and laid back down beside Jacob. I closed my eyes and clutched his hospital gown in my fists.

It's not true.

It's not true.

It's not true.


	5. Dressed In Black

My father came back into the room when the doctors informed me I would have to let him go. I gave Jacob one last kiss on his cold lips and got out of the bed, nearly collapsing when they began rolling his bed out of the room. My father caught me before my knees buckled and I allowed him to carry me out of the hospital, placing me inside of his police cruiser.

"Bella, about Tanya-" He began.

We were only driving for a few moments before he had broken the silence. I was in no mood to speak with anyone, staring out my window. I couldn't see anything in the dark of night, feeling it consume me in almost a claustrophobic way.

"Did you know?" I whispered, refusing to look at him.

I didn't think I would be able to handle it very well if my own father had also betrayed me. I still couldn't grasp my mind around the fact that Jacob had an affair, that he was now gone. The round stomach of the woman who was a stranger but knew me.

"That he was having an affair? Of course not!" He said with indignation. "Not till tonight anyway." He muttered after. "When the guys called they warned me that there was a female with Jacob, knowing he was my son in-law. She wasn't as hurt as he was, but unconscious when she was taken from the scene of the accident in an ambulance. I had no idea who she was till she stated it herself to you. I would have never kept that from you."

"Jasper and Edward did." I spit out. "They saw Jake and that woman together when they were having lunch this afternoon. Instead of telling me, they kept it to themselves."

The anger built up inside of me, wanting to blame them for all my sorrows. If I had known maybe it wouldn't hurt so much right now. If I had confronted Jacob myself, called him and demanded he come home to explain, then he wouldn't have been in a car accident and died. If Jasper had told me, I might have Jacob with me now. I would have slapped him, screamed at him, and then given him a chance to make it up to me. He loved me, he told me so only a few hours ago. He couldn't love this girl, he loved me and our children. He must have felt obligated, made a mistake and slept with her. He kept seeing her only because she was pregnant and he was trying to figure out what the right thing to do was. He would never divorce me for her, he has always said marriage was forever and made sure we never fought or stayed angry for very long.

 _He made a mistake..._

 _He slept with her and got her pregnant, it was only one time. It had to have happened only once..._

 _They were only together today to talk about the baby and what he would do..._

 _He would have told me, and I would have forgiven him..._

 _We would have worked it out..._

 _He's dead._

 _No longer able to explain anything, never given the chance..._

 _He didn't ask for her..._

 _Jacob loved me, not Tanya ..._

"Bella?" My father spoke after my silence stretched on.

"He loved me." Repeating it aloud for my own benefit rather than for my father.

"Of course he did." He grumbled, not sounding convinced.

"He would never have divorced me."

He stayed silent, now parked in my driveway. A driveway Jacob would never park in again. I wouldn't even see his car once more since it was damaged beyond repair.

"Don't be to hard on Jasper. You know he cares about you. I'm sure he didn't say anything because he didn't want to hurt you."

"You love me and don't want to see me hurt, but you already admitted that you would have told me."

"Bell-"

"I have to get inside, the kids are waiting for me. Thank you for sitting with me and driving me home." I interrupted him.

"I'm going to stay tonight."

"You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do." He looked at me sternly, prepared for my argument.

I knew it wasn't worth it and nodded. Truthfully, I didn't want him to leave me. He got out of the car and walked around to open my door, wrapping an arm around me as we made our way to the house.

I stepped through the front door and into the darkened house. I could hear the quiet sound of the television from the living room, otherwise it was silent. I walked in and saw Alice asleep on the couch from the glow of the television.

How unfair it seemed. She was here, sleeping peacefully while Jasper was safely waiting for her at home. By now my husband was in a body bag inside the hospital morgue.

"Alice." I shook her shoulder slightly.

"Bella! Oh Sweetheart, Jasper told me what happened."

"I don't want to talk about Jasper." Raising my voice slightly.

"He told me you were angry with him. You can't truly blame him, can you? I know you are hurting right now but he would never mean to cause you pain."

"He kept it from me, Jasper knew my husband was having an affair and didn't say anything! Even Edward, who I barely know, was arguing with him to tell me! If he had said something when he saw Jacob and Tanya together, I would have called Jacob and demand him to come home. He would never have been in the car when he was, wouldn't have gotten into the accident and died! It was late, the other driver had been drinking. If Jacob had been home earlier, he would be alive!"

She looked at me with tears sliding down her face, as if she really had something to cry about! _Her_ husband was alive.

"I don't want to see anyone right now. I appreciate you watching the kids, but please, leave."

Her lips trembled but she nodded and almost ran from the room. I turned and watched my father hug her, rubbing a hand over her back. Why was he comforting her? _I_ needed his comfort. I couldn't help the sneer that came to my face and left them to go upstairs. I pulled on a pair of Jake's sweatpants and his t-shirt before leaving my bedroom to check on the kids. Walking into Maddie's room only to find her bed empty.

"Maddie?" I called out into the darkened room, her night light casting a soft glow in one corner beside the bed.

Falling to my knees, I ripped the bed skirt off and looked under the bed. I ran to her closet and flung the door open, she wasn't there either.

"Madelyn Josephine!" I screamed, heart racing as I searched for my daughter.

"Bella?"

"Daddy, I can't find her!"

I was hysterical, tearing her room apart as I began hyperventilating.

"She's alright, Alice told me she is in EJ's bed. She was scared going to bed without you home."

I didn't respond as I ran from the room and into EJ's. I found my two babies cuddled together on his bed, his little arm thrown over her. Her face was snuggled into his pillow, lips parted as she breathed in a deep sleep. I went to the other side of the bed and climbed in behind EJ. It was crowded but I stayed on my side so that there was enough room to curl around him and wrap my arm around them both.

"I'm going to lock up and sleep in the guest room." My father said who had followed me into the bedroom and watched my behavior silently.

I knew I must have looked crazed as I searched for my daughter, pathetic as I took comfort from my children. I wanted to care, but didn't. Life as I knew it was over. I felt alone, forgotten. Staring up at the dark ceiling, I imagined Jacob looking down upon us from the heavens. The rain that hit the glass of the window were his tears that he wept for all that he had lost and all that he had taken from me.

X

I didn't sleep, watching as the night gave way to the rising sun. The walls turning orange and pink till the light blue paint that Jacob painted on EJ's walls showed clearly. I felt Maddie shift first as she slowly woke, EJ moving as she fidgeted.

"Mommy?" EJ questioned once he was awake enough to realize I was in the bed with them.

"Morning Baby." My voice rough with the tears I had shed all through the night.

"Why are you sleeping in my bed?" He giggled, a dimple winking at me from his right cheek.

"Where's Daddy?" Maddie asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her tiny fists.

She looked at me with her big, round eyes, waiting for me to answer her. Jacob always made sure he gave her the expected kisses before he left for the day.

"We need to talk guys. Let's go downstairs, Papa is here."

"Papa!" They both squealed and jumped down from the bed to run out of the room in search of their grandfather.

I got out of the small bed and followed after them slowly. I found them all in the kitchen, my father at the stove as he cooked a pot of oatmeal.

"You should eat." He told me, setting a bowl in front of me as I sat at the table.

"I can't."

He frowned but pulled the bowl to himself and chatted with the kids while they ate, sending concerned looks my way. Once Maddie and EJ finished, my Dad took their empty bowls to the sink. He sat back down, handing me a cup of coffee that I put down and ignored.

"Maddie and EJ, we need to talk about Daddy."

"Is he at work again?" EJ frowned, sad eyes focused on me.

"No Baby. Something happened yesterday. Daddy was coming home to see you after work and was in a car accident."

"Did he get hit like Johnny's dog?"

A little boy in EJ's classroom had a dog that got ran over by a car a few months ago. It was EJ's first experience with death.

"In a way, he did." I said softly, grabbing each of their hands." Daddy can't come home anymore, he has gone away to become an angel."

They stared at me in confusion, their minds to young to truly understand.

"We can't see him?"

"No sweetheart. We wont see him again, but he will always be here. No matter where we are, he will be watching over us. We loved him so much that God wanted a turn with him."

I didn't know what I was doing, biting my trembling lip. I had no idea how to tell them their father was killed. I was doing my best to break it to them lightly, wanting to focus on the idea of it being a positive thing instead of the tragedy it truly was.

"He promised to play with me today." EJ yelled out angrily.

"He wanted to, he loved you both so much."

"No he didn't! If he loved us he would be home! He is always working, to busy to play or talk with us! Now God stole him away and he is probably happy I can't bug him anymore!"

"Jacob Eli!"

"Daddy said I was annoying! You don't say that to someone you like! He didn't like me around him, he always told me to go play with my toys and leave him alone! Now he's gone forever!" He threw his glass of milk across the table and ran out of the room.

Maddie just watched me with big round eyes, now sitting in my fathers lap.

"Daddy gone?" She whimpered.

"Yes Baby, Daddy is gone."

Maddie didn't cry, she just sat there staring at me unblinkingly.


	6. Two black Cadillac's

It had been a week since Jacob passed. A week of ignoring Alice's phone calls. Wearing a black dress I stood beside my father next to a deep hole, watching as they lowered a walnut colored coffin into it. My breath caught as the first shovel full of dirt was thrown over it with a dull thud.

"Bells, come on honey." My father wrapped an arm around my waist, EJ and Maddie clinging to his side and looking up at me with mournful expressions.

"Daddy is in the box?" Maddie asked with round eyes.

I let out a sharp sob, covering my mouth with a hand to stop them from continuing. I had done my best to be strong, not crying during the day while in front of the kids. I saved that for night when laying in my lonely bed. I would cry and scream till exhaustion won over and I fell into a restless sleep. Waking in the mornings, I always wished for it to all be a dream. Opening my eyes, reality would crush me. One last cry as I showered was all that I would allow myself till night once again came and allowed me to grieve openly for my husband.

"I don't think I can, Daddy." I whispered. "How can I leave him here alone?"

Tears fell from my eyes as he gave me a pitying look.

"Bella?" Alice's voice was timid and skittish.

I glanced up to find her looking at me, nervous as a deer. I wanted to run to my best friend, cling to her and grieve for everything that I had lost. I almost made the step toward her till Jasper came to her side, giving me a look that matched my fathers. There was a quiet voice inside my head telling me I was being immature and unfair to be blaming Jasper for anything but my heart was broken and needed to lash out at someone.

"You didn't even like Jacob, why did you come?" I spit out.

Alice flinched, hiding herself into Jasper's side.

"We came to support you." Jasper spoke with confidence. "I know you are angry at me, but whenever you are ready we will be here for you."

"You came to support me?" I scoffed. "Where was your support when you caught Jacob cheating on me?"

I turned before he could reply and stomped toward the waiting limo, leaving my father and children behind me. Halfway there my feet froze, my heart stopping. Stepping out of a second limo was the woman from the hospital. I watched with horror as she got out and stood tall and proud. Her large stomach stretched before her with pride. Her hand was rubbing over it, as if asking for everyone's attention to be focused on the location of my shame. Her free hand raised and pushed her over sized sunglasses to the top of her head and began taking long, sure strides toward me. She didn't stop till she was less than a foot away from where I was still frozen in place.

"You could have informed me when his funeral was. I had to find out through his law firm." She sneered at me, the circles she was rubbing on her protruding stomach growing larger.

She must have noticed my eyes falling to it because she gave me a self satisfying smile.

"You aren't welcome here."

I didn't need to turn around to know who was speaking on my behalf. Alice was the tiniest of women, yet the feistiest when it came to the people she loved.

"You are of no consequence of where I am and am not welcome. This is a funeral for my child's father. I belong here just as much as she does." Pointing her finger at me.

"That has yet to be proven. If you have so little moral to sleep with a married man, who's to say you didn't have others warming your bed?"

"Are you calling me a whore?" Tanya almost screamed, taking a step closer to Alice.

"If the shoe fits."

Tanya paused, looking between Alice and I before an evil smile filled her face.

"We will see how smug you both are when a judge decides to give me half of everything. After all, I have a child of his. I wont be left penniless."

She flipped her long blonde hair behind her and walked around us heading toward the grave site. Alice and I turned, watching the scene she was creating. As soon as she got to his head stone, all bravado vanished. Like the actress she was, she began caterwauling. Friends, coworkers of Jacob's, and what little family we had watched the display with horror. There was movement from behind the crowd and I watched as Embry, Jacob's cousin, stepped forward to offer her comfort. I let out a cry of outrage, he had yet to even speak to me! I was Jacobs wife and yet, here Embry was comforting the mistress!

"Bella, please, let me bring you home." Alice pleaded. "Your father already has the kids in the car. He didn't want them to witness any kind of scene Tanya might create. I know you are in pain, but I miss you. Let me help you."

I had no fight left in me, nodding my consent silently. I heard her sigh in relief as she looped an arm through mine and led the way to the awaiting limo. I climbed in, averting my eyes from my father who I knew had watched my interaction with Tanya. My life was a mess, I felt pathetic and lost. Alice talked quietly to Jasper before climbing in next to me, squeezing one of my hands between both of hers.

"I've missed you." She repeated quietly.

I didn't return her sentiment and chose to stare out the window instead. I couldn't say I missed her when all my focus has been on my lose of Jacob. The kids were playing on their tablets, occasionally giving my nervous looks. They were to young to truly understand everything but were able to sense the mood that surrounded them. My father had been here with us through out everything, making sure the kids were protected as much as they could be and kept occupied.

"Dad, I can't go to the reception, please don't make me." My voice cracking with emotion.

I wasn't sure if Tanya would be there or not and I didn't want to chance another confrontation with her. I was Jacob's wife, I should be able to tell someone to leave my husbands funeral and the following reception. I had enough insight to know that if I tried to demand Tanya to leave that she would only create enough commotion that everyone who witnessed it wouldn't soon forget. I even wondered if that was her goal, to get a rise out of me. I had so many questions, but I refused to ask her. How long had they been involved? Obviously long enough for Tanya to look close to giving birth, if it proved to be his child. How did it start, why did he do it?

His last words to me had been he was sorry and that he loved me. I hadn't put much thought into them, but after Tanya barged in I soon realized what he was talking about. He was sorry about the affair and felt stupid over his actions. That even though he was unfaithful to me, he still loved me.

He loved me.

I held onto those words like a life line. Hearing his voice repeat it in my mind kept me from breaking down during the day and was the reason I cried at night.

"We have to get out." Alice nudged me softly.

We were parked in my driveway, my father already walking into the house with EJ and Maddie. I had no idea how long ago we arrived, lost in my thoughts. I allowed her to grab my hand in hers and we walked hand in hand into the house.

"Go lay down. I will make sure the kids get some lunch and stay here with your father till you wake up."

I stared at her with a vacant expression, turning away and making my way slowly to the bedroom. Standing in the doorway, I stared at all the little mementos of my life with Jacob. His cologne still stood uncapped on his dresser, a dress shirt laying carelessly on the floor beside it. His suit jacket was hanging on the door handle of our closet. It had been the second day of his passing when I finally noticed his wedding ring box was holding his gold band like a sign from the devil. It added salt in my wounds seeing that he left that last day without his ring. An omen that his ill intent was conscious when he left the kids and I that morning. He choose to break promises he made to his family for a few hours with Tanya. He told me he loved me, but his words felt empty when his actions proved otherwise.

"Why?" I screamed into the empty room.

I kicked my shoes off violently, one of them flying across the room and hitting my full length mirror with a crack. The wooden stand wobbled as the glass tumbled to the carpeted floor silently. My chest was heaving with emotion. Anger, hurt, and loss. My life was a charade. I was nothing more than a delusional, weak house wife. I allowed him to control every aspect of my life since the day I met him. I did everything he asked of me, bending myself to his needs. And for what? For him to give his love to someone else while I waited for him in our vacant home.

" _Bella."_

It was a whisper, the sound of my name. My body trembled as if a cold burst of wind blew around me though there was no draft.

" _I'm sorry."_ The whispered voice spoke again.

Jacob.

I gasped, twirling around the room in search of the voice.

He wasn't here. I was loosing my mind! The tears flowed from my eyes as I unzipped my dress and allowed it to fall around my feet in a black puddle. Climbing into the bed in only my slip, I fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

" _Don't do this to yourself, I'm not worth it."_ Was the last thing I heard.

* * *

I awoke to a darkened room, sleeping well into the evening. Looking at my beside clock I realized it was close to the kids bedtime and that I had selfishly left the alone the day we buried their father. Pulling on a pair of Jacobs sweatpants and his old college t-shirt, I left our bedroom in search of my family. The sound of Maddie's twittering voice told me she was in her bedroom. I peaked in from her doorway and smiled gently while watching her play. She was at her little wooden table, the chair across from her vacant though she still pretended to fill the tea cup that sat before it.

"Mommy is sad." She informed the invisible presence. "Daddy, were you bad? Grandpa told Alice you were a bad man."

I covered my mouth with my hand to hold in the sob that wished to escape.

"Maddie?"

"Mamma, you scared Daddy away!" She pouted, staring at the empty seat.

"Sweetheart, Daddy is gone." I walked in and knelt on the ground before her. "It's okay to miss him and want to pretend he is with us. I just don't want you to be more sad when you realize he isn't here.

"But he _is_ here! Well, he was before you came in. He told me he loved me and that he was sorry he had to go away."

I stared at my little girl, wondering if I should insist she not imagine her fathers presence or if it was good for her to remember him and picture him around her. The concept of grief for the children was foreign to me, I had no idea what was acceptable and what wasn't. I would have to make an appointment with a therapist and try to find answers.

"Did you eat dinner?" I asked, trying to deflect the conversation.

"Auntie Alice made spaghetti."

"Lets get you ready for bed then." I smiled gently at her.

I helped her dress in her pajamas and brush her teeth, tucking her into bed with her favorite stuffed animals. Leaving her night light on I walked through the joint bathroom into EJ's room.

"Hey buddy."

I found him already in bed, my father giving me a nod as he left us alone. He had gotten EJ dressed for bed and tucked in before I made an appearance.

"Mom, Maddie thinks Daddy is here. She wouldn't stop talking to him. She told me to shut up when I told her he wasn't here."

"I know baby, I think it makes her feel better."

"That's just silly. He is gone." He pouted.

"How are you feeling? It's okay to miss him." I said softly, acknowledging that he hadn't really grieved for his father.

"Everyone says they miss him, but its hard for me to."

"Why is that?"

"He wasn't ever home. How can I miss him when it has always been just you and Maddie with me?"

It was a punch in the gut. How honest his youth made him. His admission of not missing his father after growing immune to Jacob always working.

I scoffed at that word, _working_. Sleeping with his mistress was the accurate term.

" _Tell him I love him."_

A whisper came like the one from earlier in my bedroom.

"Daddy loved you." I gave in to the invisible demand.

EJ just stared at me expressionless.

"I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Kissing his forehead.

Though he said he didn't miss his father, ever since I told him his father wouldn't return he was afraid of me disappearing also.

I found Alice and my father in the kitchen, the pop of a cork greeting me.

"Bella, your awake." Alice smiled, pouring two glasses of wine.

She handed me one and took the other.

"Bells, I need to head home. I hate to leave you, but I need to get back to work tomorrow."

"I understand, thank you for everything."

"I'm only a phone call away."

I returned his embrace and watched sadly as he left the house.

"You have me, you know." Alice nudged me.

"I know." I whispered. "Are you angry with me?"

"Of course not! Are you still angry with me?"

"I was never mad at you, Alice. I just can't forgive Jasper yet. I know he meant well, but knowing he kept it from me..." My voice drifting off.

"He loves you, he just didn't know how to tell you. And then the accident, he never got a chance."

"Is the baby really his?"

She got a weird look on her face.

"Alice?" I questioned, my heart racing.

I knew there was something she had to say, something I wasn't going to like.

"We should call Jasper."

"What?" I was confused by her words.

"Tanya has hired a lawyer from Jacobs firm to represent her."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Bella, I think we should wait for Jasper."

"Tell me!" I screamed, causing her to jump.

She said the last think I expected to hear.

"Jacob put her on his will."


	7. Wasting all these tears

"The will wasn't notarized, we will be able to use that to contest it in court."

"I don't understand." Shaking my head at Jasper.

"To make a will legal, you have to have it signed by two witnesses. Since Tanya is one of them, we will argue that it is invalid since she is a beneficiary. That leaves it with one witness, his cousin Embry, and not recognized a notary."

I looked through him, draining my glass of wine.

The doorbell rang, Alice jumping up and stating she would get it. I didn't know who would be coming by, and couldn't care at this point.

"I'm his _wife_."

"You're right. You were his wife and should be receiving everything he left. Unfortunately that wasn't much." A voice stated behind me.

I turned to see Edward standing there with a firm expression.

"What?"

"Jasper informed me of his supposed will, I took it upon myself to look over your financial statements."

"How did you get them? You aren't my lawyer." I frowned.

"No, but Jasper is. You may not have hired him to do this for you, but you have always stated he is your personal legal representative; correct?"

"I suppose, in passing. I never thought I would ever need-"

"That is irreverent. What matters is you have involuntarily stated him as your lawyer, giving him the right to act in your welfare. Since I am now working at the firm, he asked me to help him with your case."

"My case?" I whispered.

I nodded gratefully at Alice when she refilled my glass with the sweet red wine.

"Jacob unfortunately left a substantial amount of debt. The taxes, along with the mortgage, car payments, and credit card statements are going to leave you in the negative. You have the option to pay of the cars or to pay your mortgage coming due along with this years property tax, not both. You don't have much longer to decide what you are going to do."

"I'm going to lose everything?" I sat back into the chair, stunned.

"He didn't put aside any savings. Whatever money you receive will be from his life insurance. That said, the will we will be contesting stats Tanya as half a beneficiary."

"Can he do that?"

"He did do it. That is what she is currently trying to sue you over, saying that you stole her half of the money."

"I haven't received a dime of it!"

"You will have it in your account by tomorrow morning. This past week while you have been grieving, Jasper has been working on your behalf. He didn't want to put it off when he realized there were no funds in your bank account and have you left with nothing to survive on."

"My god" I muttered, sitting back stunned. "I always assumed he was handling the money responsibility. He was always replacing items in the house, buying new cars, I never had a card be declined. I would never have thought..."

"No you wouldn't have. Your card had money on it from his paychecks, which went quickly to household funds such as groceries, utilities, and the monthly house payment. Everything else as put on credit. As I said, you can pay what you need to on house to stay in it for another month, possibly two, and give up everything else or keep the cars and lose the house. If you choose to give up everything, you will be left with enough to help you get back on your feet. You will need to find work regardless, but it will give you some time to find a new house and a job."

"Edward, aren't you going a little to quickly?" Alice scowled at him. "She just lost her husband."

"Bella, I am not trying to be unsympathetic. I know this is hard for you and this is a lot so suddenly but we need to get this dealt with before you lose everything. It gives you options to start before the collections start hounding you. I only want to make sure you, EJ, and Maddie receive as much as you can. Make your decisions quickly. While you do that Jasper and I are going to do our part of contesting the new will."

"When did he do this, change the will I mean?"

"Six months ago. Tanya isn't on it so much as her unborn child. He wrote that in the evident possibility of any future children, that he or she would benefit from his death. Tanya is arguing that she should receive the money to help her support said child. We will be able to put it off till the child is born and request a paternity test be ordered. Everything else will have to wait till the test comes back proving the paternity of the child."

"How will we do that, with Jacob be-being..." I chocked on the words, unable to finish my statement.

"Unfortunately, we would have to test with EJ." He said sadly, reaching over to grab my shaking hand.

"No! I wont do that to my son!"

"We don't have a better option. Anyone else wouldn't have enough DNA to test against. He wont know what is happening, we will keep everything we can from him and Maddie. I swear, I wont allow EJ to be hurt more than he already has been." He squeezed my hand in his, staring into my eyes earnestly.

There was a loud crash from the living room, causing me to jump and let out a startled yelp.

Jasper and Edward jumped from their seats and ran into the living room, Alice and I following at their heels.

"Daddy doesn't like Edward." Maddie stated when we all entered the room.

She was standing in middle of the room, her eyes wide a she stared at us all. Across the room a picture was smashed on the stone of the fireplace. I took slow steps to the mess, unmindful of the broken glass that crunched under my house slippers.

"Bella, be careful." Alice called out with warning.

I bent to pick up the frame, finding the picture of Jacob and I on our wedding day. The picture was scratched from the broken glass, a large slash across my face.

"Maddie, why did you break Mommy's picture?" I demanded, turning to my daughter.

I had to remind myself she was only four, that I couldn't yell at her despite my anger. Rage filled me at the sight of the ruined picture. I took a breath, reminding myself my father had a copy I could replace it with.

"I'm sorry for yelling." I calmed. "It makes me sad to see Mommy and Daddy's picture ruined."

"I didn't do it."

"Maddie." I warned.

"I didn't! Daddy did!"

"I know you are hurting Sweetheart, but it doesn't excuse your behavior or give you the right to lie. We have talked about fibbing, haven't we? Tell me the truth, I wont be angry." I reassured her, picking her up and sitting on the couch with her in my lap.

"I'm not lying. Daddy said you were touching Edward and he threw the picture. He's angry because you let Edward hold your hand."

Had she entered the kitchen without any of us seeing her? Did she see Edward grasp my hand in comfort and assume it was something else? Was she even old enough to understand the concept of adult relationships? It just reaffirmed my need to see a therapist, for the kids to talk to someone besides me.

"Maddie, I know this is all very confusing. Are you angry that Edward held Mommy's hand? He is just a friend and is trying to help us now that Daddy went away."

"Mamma, I didn't break that picture. I like Edward even though Daddy doesn't. I told you, he is angry and broke your picture."

I sighed heavily, closing my eyes with frustration.

"Maddie, what else did Daddy say?" Alice asked, squatting to look my daughter in the eye.

"He's mad at some lady."

"What lady?" She persisted.

"Tanya. He said she is trying to take our house away from Mamma."

Alice and I looked at each other, my expression of horror clashing with Alice's wonder.

There was a gust of wind, covering me in goosebumps and causing Maddie to giggle.

"Daddy, that tickled."

My body gave a tingling chill starting from my ears down to my toes. Looking up I saw Alice glance around nervously as Edward and Jasper exchanged a questioning look.

"Come on Maddie, lets get you into bed." Alice was the first to break the silence after Maddie's disturbing words.

I passed her over to Alice and Edward left with them to check on EJ for me.

"Jasper, I need to apologize to you."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!" Standing my to feet. "I should never have treated you so poorly this past week. It wasn't fair to blame you for any of Jacob's actions. I needed someone to take it out on, and I immaturely chose you. It hurt so much, finding out you had known and didn't tell me. I always thought I could trust you."

"You _can_. I was going to tell you, I just needed to figure out how. I couldn't just come barging into your house and accuse Jacob of having an affair. Would you have even believed me?"

"Of course I would have!"

"Bella, think about it. I love you but you have always been blinded when it came to Jacob. I would have told you and you would have confronted Jacob. Can you honestly say that you wouldn't have given in and called me a liar when Jacob denied it all? I'm not saying you wouldn't have believed me, but you would never go against anything Jacob said. That's just how you and Jacob worked. He said jump and you asked how high."

"Do you think that poorly of me?" I winced at his words.

"I don't think poorly of you, you were just naive for so long. For some reason you chose a blind eye when it came to him. Alice told me you didn't even tell your father about him for three years."

"He knew I was dating someone..." I muttered dumbly.

"Your father loves you, how could you not even mention Jacobs name to him let alone have them meet for that long?"

"It's silly to bring up what happened so long ago, isn't it?"

"I think we both need to hear the answer." He stated stubbornly.

"After our first date, Jacob was just always there. Whenever I was on the phone with my father, he was beside me rubbing my back or holding my hand. It felt awkward to talk about him while he was right next to me. Dad never seemed very interested anyway, I think he figured it wasn't serious since I never invited Jacob home with me."

"Why didn't he ever go home to visit with you?"

"I hardly went home after we began dating. I would bring it up but Jacob would look so devastated about the possibility of my going away for a few days I always decided against it. I don't know, now that I am saying all this it sounds so silly. There really are no good reasons as to why I never told my father about him or had them meet before Billy's funeral."

"What about EJ? He wasn't planned right?"

I winced slightly.

"No, well, not by me anyway."

"You were dating a man for three years yet your father never met him or even knew his name. Then he purposefully gets you pregnant with no concern over your desire for a baby?"

"It wasn't like that! I didn't ask about protection."

"Bella, he bragged about it! Telling everyone how quickly he was able to get you pregnant."

I blushed at his words, looking at anything but him.

"Whats your point Jasper?"

"Just, think about it. I don't want to fight with you, but you need to open your eyes and see what your life has been since Jacob came into it. It kills me to see you so hurt and grieving for a man that doesn't deserve your tears."

"How long do I have left in the house?" I asked, trying to get off the subject of hows and whys.

"Edward estimated about a month till you need to make a final decision."

There was a sound that let out through the room, sounding much like a roar. I looked up at Jasper but if he noticed anything off he didn't let it show. I shivered and waited for Alice and Edward to return.

After the three of them left I made my way back to the bedroom to try and rest though I knew it would come with difficulty after my nap and my emotions running on high. Laying in bed, I could feel the air change around me.

"You're here, aren't you?" I whispered into the dark room.

I felt the shift, the slight feel of something blowing across my exposed arms that the comforter wasn't covering.

"Jacob?"

" _Don't leave me."_ I heard the breeze whisper.

"I'm losing my mind." I whimpered.

"Don't sell the house."

This time the words were strong, as if from a solid presence.

"Why can't I see you?"

And there he was.

As the words left my mouth his figure appeared at the end of my bed.


	8. Stitches

"How is this possible?" I sat up, gasping for breath.

"Baby, take a deep breath." He sat on the edge of the bed beside me, looking down at me with concern.

"This can't be real."

"That's what I said. One minute I'm driving Tanya back to her apartment and the next thing I know I'm screaming your name as you put on a black dress, oblivious to my presence."

"What?" I gasped.

I felt anger bubbling inside of me, his nerve to speak of being with Tanya with no guilt. The unbelievable circumstances prevented me from lashing out, willing him to continue and explain to me what was happening and how his presence was even possible.

"This morning. I woke up and here I was. I thought you were ignoring me, had somehow figured out my betrayal, till I heard your father talking about my funeral. I didn't believe it at first, that I was dead. Your father and EJ seemed to neither hear or see me. I thought I had made you hear me earlier, Maddie was the first to speak to me though. She told me everything her youthful mind could. I wasn't even sure I could make myself appear to you till you called out my name."

"Jake." I whimpered, throwing myself at him.

It was the oddest feeling. He was there, but not there. I could wrap my arms around him, but I couldn't feel him. He was solid, but it was like hugging air at the same time. I couldn't even feel the hand he placed on my cheek though I could see him doing it.

"I can't feel you."

"I don't even know what I am." His voice breaking.

"A ghost?" I questioned, causing him to give out a bark of laughter.

"Who you gonna call?" He asked with a raised brow.

Seeing his smile and playful expression, I was suddenly filled with the rage I had kept at bay.

"You fucking bastard!" I screamed, slamming my fists against him. "You cheatingliar!"

He kept his arms at his side, allowing my hits without trying to block them. After a few minutes I tired, weak from not taking care of myself properly as of late.

"You're not real, are you?"

He stared blankly at me.

"This is all just a figment of my imagination, isn't it?"

Again he stayed silent.

"Answer me!"

"I-I don't know what this is Bella."

"I miss you." My voice cracking.

"I know you do, Baby."

"Why did you do it? Why wasn't I enough?"

"I don't have an answer for you. I never meant for it to happen, it wasn't planned. She was hired as a paralegal at the office. It started out harmless, a few looks, occasional flirting."

"There is nothing harmless about flirting when you were married, Jacob!"

"I know, I know." His shoulders sagging, head hanging low. "It was two months after she arrived. I was working late on a new case and she stayed to help me with the research. I thanked her for her help and the next thing I know, she's kissing me like there is no tomorrow."

I closed my eyes, hand to my throat as I struggled to swallow back the nausea. I needed to hear it though I didn't want to. The words were going to be permanently sketched into my broken heart, impossible to heal or scar no matter how much time passed. Regardless of how or why it happened, the result was still the same.

I wasn't enough for my husband.

"Mommy, who are you talking to?"

EJ was standing in my doorway watching me with questioning eyes. I looked back to where Jacob had been sitting only to find the spot vacant. There wasn't even a crease in the comforter from his body pressing into it. I reached out to run my hand over the area to find it cold and not warm as I expected.

It was my imagination, I was truly loosing my mind.

"No one baby boy, I must have been dreaming."

"Can I sleep in here with you?" His bottom lip quivering.

"Of course you can, come here." Giving him a watery smile.

I moved back the comforter and smiled softly as EJ ran across the room on his little legs and jumped into the bed. He curled his body into mine and drifted off to sleep just as quickly. If only we could all sleep as easily as children.

* * *

"Thanks for coming over. EJ hasn't stopped talking about it."

Edward walked into the house past me where I was holding the door open for him. He had promised EJ he would come over and have a play date when he was over this weekend going over the legal details. I wasn't sure if he would really keep his word and was shocked when he called last night to make sure it was alright with me for him to come over this morning.

"I never make promises I don't intend to keep." He smiled with a quick wink. "I thought I would take him to the park for a while, a change in environment might be good for him."

"That's really sweet of you, he would love it. You are probably right, I haven't been much of a Mom these past two weeks. I haven't left the house since Alice went grocery shopping for us and bought enough food to last us a while. He will really enjoy spending time with you now that Jasper and Alice aren't able to come around and Jacob's..."

He gave me a small supportive smile and nodded slightly. Alice and Jasper's foster child arrived at their home yesterday. She promised to call and come over whenever I needed her but I remembered her words of not being able to bring their child around others right away till he grew comfortable with she and Jasper. I didn't want to take away any of their excitement now that they had a child they have waited so long for. Jacob hadn't appeared before me either since the day of his funeral. I was now certain it was my imagination and felt foolish for talking to the mirage of my dead husband. Maddie still spoke of talking to her father but only at bed time and I was sure it was because she missed it when he was actually home to read her a bedtime story. He used to be the one who read to the kids and tucked them in at night. It was only eight months ago that he stopped coming home in time for their night time ritual.

"Why don't you and Maddie join us? You could all benefit getting out of the house for a while."

Declining was on the tip of my tongue. I stopped myself from speaking and thought of the kind of mother I had been lately for my children. It was time to stop with my self pity and give the kids what they needed.

"As long as you don't mind."

He smiled in return which I took for acceptance and left to help Maddie put her sneakers on.

The park was only a few blocks away so I let the kids ride their bikes with Edward and I walking behind them. Once there, EJ took Maddie's hand and rushed off toward the slides with a giggling Maddie.

"I've put some thought into what you told me about the house." I admitted quietly, keeping my eyes on the kids.

"What have you been thinking?"

I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't think I couldn't look at him. I wasn't sure if I would be able to tell him what I decided since it was still hard enough accept myself.

"I'm going to sell the house and look for another. I never really wanted such an extravagant home anyway. The house and everything in it was all of Jacob's doing. He wanted the best of everything."

"What do you want?"

I couldn't stop myself this time and turned my head to face him, the shock on my face most likely showing clearly.

"What?"

"What do _you_ want, Bella?"

His eyes boring into mine, silently urging me to answer. I couldn't remember the last time I was asked what I wanted, a decision not being made for me. Growing up I was a quiet child, a loner really. My mother loathed my withdrawn behavior, always buying me flashy clothing. My father knew my distaste for dresses and always bought me jeans and t-shirts without my asking for them. Of course that meant I was usually dressed in baggy jeans and plain colored boy shirts or flannels. I never voiced my own opinion though, feeling guilty over the thought when my mother and father had already spent money on me. School was never something I put a lot of effort into, it just came naturally and the good grades accompanied it. My father, assuming that was what I liked to do, put a lot of focus on finding scholarships and working toward them. As a result my high school years were spent looking at colleges and what I needed to do to attend them, including which after school activities I ended up choosing to do. When I was finally away at college, Jacob had been there. I would follow him to the different parties or school games he wanted to attend, never voicing how much I despised the loud music, drinking, and sports in general. He decided when we would have kids, when we would marry. He picked where we would settle, what house we would live in, and the furnishings we owned.

"Bella?" Edward questioned, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I blushed, realizing how long I had probably been silent as my mind wandered. I had a tendency to daydream, something that always drove Jacob crazy.

"Sorry," I murmured. "I want to find a small house for the kids and I. Three, four bedrooms at the most. A big yard for them to play in. The house we have now doesn't have much of a yard."

"Are you going to stay in the area?"

"I couldn't move away from my father after being here for so long. Besides, the kids would miss him."

"Is that what you want, to stay?"

"Why do you keep asking that?" I scowled slightly.

"Asking what?"

"What it is _I_ want."

"Because I sense it's not something you have asked yourself in a long time."

"You don't know me." My scowl deepening.

I grew irritated when his lips turned into a smile, his green eyes twinkling.

"What's so funny?" I practically snarled.

"Nothing much, but I have to admit I like feisty Bella better than passive Bella."

"I'm not passive!"

He let out a bark of laughter, leaving me open mouthed and staring.

"I think the kids and I should go." I snapped, getting halfway to my feet before he stopped me with a hand placed lightly on my arm.

"Stop, don't ruin their time because you are mad at me. You have to admit, you have been wearing rose tinted glasses. You either didn't want to see what was happening or you really are that naive. I would rather you were the first option."

"How dare you! This is only, what, the fourth time we have met?"

"True, but I have heard of you from Alice for years. Did you really not understand what she has been hinting at these past few months or were you just choosing to ignore it? What of how he treated you more like a child who couldn't make her own decision rather than a spouse who had equal say?"

"I don't know who you think you are Edward Cullen, but I wont sit here and listen to anything else you have to say!"

"Bella?"

I turned at the sound of the voice.

"Rose!" I cried out, running into her outstretched arms.

"I'm so sorry we weren't here. Alice called and told us what happened when our plan landed."

"I told her not to call you. I knew you and Emmett would leave your vacation early to come home if she told you Jacob was in an accident."

"Of course we would have!" Came Emmett's boisterous voice. "You needed us and we should have been here."

"I haven't been very good company Em, I have been a horrible friend toward Jasper."

"You are dealing with a lot Bells, Jasper can handle it. He told us everything and knows you don't actually blame him for anything."

"I've missed you both so much." I admitted, tears slipping down my cheeks as I was passed into Emmett's arms, resting my face against his hard chest.

I absorbed the comfort only Emmett seemed to be able to project to those around him. He was the kindest person I had ever met. Always had a ready smile for everyone, a kind word for strangers. He was the type of person who brought home stray animals of all kinds. That was what I probably was right now, another stray to take care of.

I shook off my last thought, reminding myself that Emmett and Rosalie were my friends and I shouldn't think such things.

"Edward, Alice told us you were bringing EJ to the park." Rose directed at Edward. "Apparently from what she and Jasper say, he is quite taken with you." She smirked.

"You know how it is with kids." He shrugged with his own crooked smile that was identical to his sisters. "They are drawn to me."

"Probably because you have the same maturity level."

"Ouch." He placed a hand over his heart and winced.

"You want to tell me why my girl here looked ready to slap you as we walked up?" She raised a brow looking between me as I sent Edward a scowl while still cuddled into Emmett's side.

I hadn't realized how much Edward and Rosalie looked alike Now seeing them standing side by side, you couldn't help but see the similarities. They each had perfectly arched brows that made other women envious, though Edward's were the fuller male version. The full lips that were perfectly colored that Rosalie had no need for lipstick. Rose and Jasper had blonde hair with a touch of a wave while Edwards was a mixture of deep brown and a slight touch of auburn, somewhat out of control with curls that refused to lay totally flat. Rose and Jasper also had bright blue eyes contrast to Edward's emerald green, all three were the same shape and lined with thick long lashes. Rosalie was one of those girls others could easily hate because of her natural beauty.

"Your brother is an ass." I grumbled.

"Edward, she just lost her husband! Do you really need to be your usual pushy self ?"

"I wasn't being pushy! I was trying to help."

"I know you to well." Rose shook a finger at him, a touch of humor on her face and eyes shinning with love for her brother. "Emmett and I are going to stay here and play with the kids for a while, why don't you go buy Bella cup of coffee and play nice?"

"Rose, I don't think that-"

"Sure thing, come on Bella." Edward smiled at me, placing a hand on my lower back and leading me away.

"What happened to making my own choices? I thought you were an crusader for it?"

"I am, that's why you can order whatever you like even though I insist on paying." He laughed lightly.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pressured you into leaving with me. I wanted the chance to apologize. I never meant to insult you."

"What did you mean to do then?"

He furrowed his brows and sighed heavily.

"Edward, would you mind terribly if we went back to my house for the coffee? I know there was a full pot when we left and it should still be hot. I don't feel like having an audience right now for whatever may be said."

"Of course, whatever you are comfortable with."

We were only seconds from my house by now and he held the door open for me once we reached it.

Following me into the kitchen, he sat at the table and accepted a mug of coffee.

"Sugar?"

"No thank you, I like my coffee strong and black."

"Now, what were you trying to say?" I asked after we sipped in silence for a moment.

"Honestly, I wasn't trying to start a fight. It saddens me to see how much Jacob played you. He treated you like a child from what I can tell. What's worse to me is that you allowed it."

"That does not sound like an apology."

"Shit, it really doesn't." He chuckled. "This afternoon, you seemed different. I saw another side of you. You made a decision for yourself and it only intrigued me. I wanted to see more of that side of your personality. I want you to stand up, be strong. Tell me off when you think I need it. I like women with a bit of sass."

I blushed at his words, not knowing how to take his bold statement.

"I'm not one of the women that will be on the long list of your score card."

I meant it as an insult but all he did was throw his head back and laugh.

"I wasn't hoping you would be in my bed any time soon."

"What does that mean exactly, that you hope I will be eventually? After the proper mourning time has passed?"

He spit out the coffee he had just sipped, looking at me with widened eyes full of humor.

"I don't know, should I be?"

I blushed, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't do that. I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable. Look, we obviously suck at this. All I'm saying is be strong. Stand up for yourself and never let another man lead you around. I want to see you move on, buying a house _you_ want. Find a job that you love, live the way you see fit and not how others think you should. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get angry. Once your anger is over, move on." He shrugged slightly. "Jacob was a dick. You have the right to mourn him, he was your husband. I think you have done that enough, it's time to get angry."

"What good is anger going to do?"

"I am no expert on this obviously and I could be totally wrong. I think once you get angry, you can forgive him and allow yourself to heal and move on."

I looked down into my mug, pondering over his words.

"I'm going to get back to EJ, I did promise to play with him and haven't held my end of the bargain." He said, getting to his feet. "I'll bring the kids back in an hour or so. Take some time for yourself."

"Thank you." I said softly, following him to the front door.

"Goodbye Bella." He bent and kissed my check before closing the door behind him.

With my hand pressed against the cheek he had touched, I turned.

Jacob was standing there, his eyes dark and filled with anger.

* * *

"You're back." I gasped, taking step back.

With a blink of my eyes, he left his spot down the hall and was now inches from me.

"What was he doing here?" He growled.

"We were talking."

"Are you moving on so quickly, Bella? Ready to forget about me?"

"I don't-"

"Don't lie to me!" There was a loud shatter from behind me.

I screamed out and huddled into a ball, wrapping my arms around my head to protect my face from the glass that suddenly covered the ground around me.

"Bella?"

The front door knob was rattling, Edward yelling out my name as his fist beat on the door.

"Bella, let me in!"

"He can't take you from me. You are not leaving this house!" Jacob bellowed, the window's shaking with a quiet rattling sound. "The bitch is lying! She played me, you have to find out the truth!"

The sharp sound of splintering wood overpowered his words, his angry face disappearing as hands grabbed me from behind.

I screamed, thrashing out to get away from whoever was picking me up off the ground.

"Bella, it's me! What happened? I was halfway down the front walkway when something was thrown through a window. It almost hit me when I heard you scream."

"Jacob." I let out with a sob, clutching his shirt in my fists.

"Jacob?"

"He was here."

My body was shaking, my vision blurring as flashes of light filled my sight.

"Deep breaths, come on Bella, deep breaths."

I tried to follow his command, still holding onto him in case he decided to leave me.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said quietly.

I could feel him as he sat and began rocking us slightly.

"You are going to think I'm crazy." I slurred slightly.

"Tell me." He encouraged, kissing the top of my head.

There was a thud from across the room. My eyes snapped toward the direction the sound came from. A lamp that previously sat on the sofa table was now laying in a shattered mess across the room.

"He's here, Edward. Jacob isn't gone."

Upstairs came the sound of a door slamming as Edward followed the noise with eyes wide, his mouth set in a grim line. His arms tightened around me, both of us staring at the ceiling above us.

* * *

 **This chapter left me a bit unsure but instead of second guessing myself I left it as is. What are your thoughts? Feel free to tell me how you see this all playing out, there are some reviews that gave me inspiration! Till next time..**


	9. Next

"Bella, is someone in the house?"

"Yes." I whimpered, pushing my face deeper into his chest.

His heart was beating rapidly, his body filled with adrenaline.

"Is that why you screamed? Someone was hiding in here, threatening you?"

"Edward, I told you! You have to believe me." I pulled away to look up at his face, my eyes pleading as his looked concerned.

"Bella, Jacob is gone. If you think it is him, someone is playing a cruel, heartless game with you."

He bite out the last words, lifting me as he got to his feet and placing me on mine.

"Can you walk? I need you to go out to my car, my phone is in the center console. Call your father and Emmett."

He started walking toward the stairs, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see who's up there. Please, you need to get out of the house. I need to know you are safe before leaving my sight."

"Edward, no one is up there!"

"Bella, I believe you. I believe that you think it's Jacob, but it's not possible. You know this, don't you?"

"I know it's improbable, that he is gone. You think I am crazy, but I am telling you the truth!"

"Bella, go. Call your father and Emmett. Emmett is only a three minute drive away, your father is chief of police and should be here if someone really is up there."

His eyes bored into mine, one foot on the bottom stair as he waited for me to leave and do as he requested. The house was now silent, no sight nor sound of Jacob lingered any longer. I knew he wouldn't find anyone up there and that he would be safe enough. Jacob seemed to come and go as it pleased him.

 _Much like when he was alive._

I sneered over my thought.

How dare he! Come into my home and make demands! This was no longer his house, I was no longer his wife. He was the one who stepped out on our marriage vows. He had a mistress, lied to me, abandoned the kids and created a child with another woman! Now he wants to appear and tell me I can't sell the house? To show up and create a scene because Edward held my hand the other night, demanding me to stay away from him as if I had done him wrong?

"Fuck him." I growled.

"What did you say?" Edward asked with a quizzical expression as he watched me muddle through my silent, angry thoughts.

"He is gone. He can't make demands of me any longer!" I yelled out at a confused Edward.

With that last thought, I grew spiteful. I was a grown woman and could make my own choices for the first time since I could ever remember.

 _He wanted me to stay away from Edward? Well, see what I think of your demands!_

With sure steps, I almost stomped over to where Edward stood. He was still watching me with slight confusion, a bit of worry. I was now toe to toe with him.

"What are you doing?" He asked quietly when I raised my hands, placing a palm on either side of his face.

"I'm making my own decision." My voice full of determination. "Jacob doesn't want you around. He doesn't want me near you." My voice steady and confident.

Edward raised a single brow at my words, his eyes narrowing as he looked down at me.

He was waiting, I realized. Waiting and wondering what my next move was going to be. Probably waiting for whatever crazy thing I was going to say or do. Jacob wants to make demands of me, Edward thinks I'm crazy.

"I have nothing to lose, here goes nothing." I mumbled.

Edward opened his mouth to respond, before he could speak I lifted myself to my tip toes and pulled his head forward. I pressed my lips to his violently. I could feel his body go rigid in shock, his lips frozen as mine moved over his urgently. After a few seconds, I felt him relax. His body molding into mine, his hand lifting to the small of my back and pushing me into him. The moment I felt him return the kiss, there was a spark. Like a flash of lightening had hit and formed a bubble around us. The kiss was suppose to prove a point, not create this electric heat that now surrounding us. A sound came from his throat; half growl, half moan. I sighed, melting against him even more as my hands moved to the back of his neck and weaving my fingers into the short hair that covered his neck.

The taste of his tongue brushing against mine was enough to make my mouth water. The craving for more was what snapped me out of my haze. I was kissing a man, only two weeks after my husband of six years was put into the ground.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" I rushed out, pulling out of his arms quickly.

His eyes were heavy. His lips, swollen and red, were parted as he gasped lightly for breath. At my words, his eyes narrowed and he took a step toward me. I put my arm out in front of me.

"No, stop. I shouldn't have done that."

"Why did you?" He asked, his voice thick sounding.

"I wanted to prove that I could." I admitted guiltily. "It was my own choice. No one was telling me I could or couldn't. Jacob wants me to stay away from you."

"Are we back to this?" He sighed. "Okay, Jacob doesn't want you and I around each other. So you kissed me to prove a point?"

"It sounds so silly to hear you say it." My cheeks burning.

"Are there any other points to prove?" He asked taking another step. "I'm willing to be an innocent pawn in your scheme of making your dead husband jealous." He practically purred.

"No! No, stop!" I panicked, taking another step back.

He squeezed his eyes shut, seeming to give himself a mental shake.

"I'm going upstairs, go make the calls." His voice emotionless as he turned his back to me and stomped up the stairs.

I watched him go up. His strong back pulling on the t-shirt he wore as his muscles moved, long legs ascending the stairs gracefully. His ass perfect and round.

"Stop it, Bella!" I hissed at myself.

Closing my eyes and sighing heavily, I left the house and did as he requested.

* * *

"I'm so embarrassed. Having my father show up in his cruiser. Lights, siren, and all." I moaned into the phone. "You should have seen Emmett! Did you know he kept a gun on him? He ran from his car with said gun in hand looking like a crazed man!"

"Bella, you told your father and Emmett there was someone in your house. Of course they did that! It's your father and Emmett thinks of you as a little sister. You may see it as over reacting, but they were only trying to protect you." Alice giggled at my humiliation.

"Alice, the neighbors came out to watch the scene. I had to then inform them all it was a false alarm, that no one was in the house. I looked so stupid."

"But someone had been there at some point right? Edward heard it too."

"You talked to Edward today?" I grimaced, waiting for her answer.

"Oh, I certainly did."

"Oh." I said stupidly.

Did he tell her? How am I going to explain my behavior to Alice? Is she going to be pissed for using her brother in-law in such a manner?

"Anything you wish to add to that?" She asked in a sing-song voice.

"Nope." Popping the p. "He was kind enough to walk me home, that's all."

"That's it, huh?"

"Alice, did I hear a baby cry?"

"Nice try Bella. Jasper is laying on the couch, Bastion is sleeping on his chest. It's the cutest thing I have ever seen!"

"He is doing well then?"

"Wonderfully. I fully expected it to be months before we were able to hold him. He took to Jasper right away, I can't even feel put out that so far I am able to only sit him on my lap to read him a story. If there isn't a story in hand he wont even consider allowing me contact."

"I'm so happy for you, I know how much this must mean to you."

"If we can get him to trust us both, we are going to adopt him. We just want to be sure it's what he wants, to stay with us. He wont speak so we have to go by his actions. So far, Jasper is a winner."

"You will get there, give him time."

"I know. Don't change the subject Isabella Black! I may have overheard Jasper and Edward talking in Jasper's office this evening..."

"You mean you were eavesdropping."

"Possibly." I could hear her smile.

"How did Bastion react to Edward?"

"We kept a good distance between them. You know how good Edward is with kids, Bastion watched him with interest as long as there was three feet between them. There were no melt downs and he seemed mostly curious, not frightened."

"I can't wait for my turn!"

"I know." She sighed. "I just think we need a bit longer. I don't want him to feel overwhelmed around Maddie and EJ. Stop it, tell me what happened!"

"You're going to commit me."

"I wont, even if I think you are crazy." Humor filling her voice.

"I have been seeing Jacob. Remember the night you were over and Maddie spoke of him being angry? That was the first time I saw him."

"You've seen Jacob?" She gasped.

"He appeared in my bedroom that night. Alice, I know it's not possible; but I saw him! He was really there, I could touch him even though I couldn't _feel_ him. He wants me to keep the house, to stay away from Edward. This afternoon was only the second time I have seen him. He was angry over me selling the house, he said Tanya played him."

There was silence on the other end when I finished, breathing hard.

"Please, say something."

"I think he is an even bigger asshole dead than he was when alive! How dare he try to tell you who you can and cannot see when he was the one having an affair! You certainly can't stay in the house, the bastard didn't leave you with any savings to do so even if you wanted to!"

"You believe me?"

"Bella, I knew he was there that first night with Maddie. I thought I had seen something, I know I felt him."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"The same reason it took you this long to tell me."

"You really believe me?"

"I do. I haven't ever told anyone this before, not even Jasper. My grandmother died when I was eleven. She stayed with me for months before she finally left for good. I could see her, talk to her. She wasn't as physical as Jacob apparently is though. I couldn't touch her, she never moved anything."

"You're serious."

"As a heart beat, or in this case, non heart beat."

"You are terrible at trying to make a joke." I snickered.

"I know." She sighed. "Anyway, the point is, I believe in this kind of thing and I believe you."

"Edward thinks I am crazy."

"He's pissed."

I groaned at her admission.

"Not in the way you are thinking. He's pissed you kissed him for no other reason than to _make your invisible dead husband jealous_. His words."

"It started off that way." I grumbled.

"He complained he was still hard from just kissing you!" She continued, not hearing my words.

"What?" My eyes widening.

"Yup, it was kind of weird hearing him talk like that. He feels like my own brother, and listening to him talk about his dick, ew."

"I can never face him again!" I whined.

"He said it was like nothing he has ever felt before. That _the world stopped when your lips touched his._ Again, his words. How romantic is that?" She sighed wistfully. "It's fate. You two are soul mates. You know I never thought Jacob was The One for you."

"Alice slow down. He is not my soul mate. It was a simple kiss. I am ashamed to admit that I was only using him for my own selfish reasoning. I wanted to show Jacob, myself even, that I could make my own decisions. That I don't need him. I wanted to feel desired."

"You think you aren't desirable?"

"My husband cheated on me. I have never been with a man besides Jacob. I don't think anyone even glanced at me twice except for him."

"You don't see the world clearly, do you? You are gorgeous Bella! Every time we were out together you turned heads. You have always been unaware of yourself to notice. You should have seen Edward the first time he met you! Well you did, but not clearly. I swear, he was devastated when he found out you were married. He couldn't keep his eyes off of you that night. I think there was even a bit of drool."

"Please." I scoffed.

"I'm serious! Why do you think he has been around so much?"

"Because he is acting as my legal council. It's a job for him, nothing more."

"Did he kiss you back?"

I stayed silent.

"That's what I thought. I know you are still grieving, but you are now beginning to healing. Don't let yourself take a step back, keep moving forward. It's time you realized Jacob was nothing more than a cheating bastard. He didn't deserve you. You were loyal to a fault."

"What does that even mean?"

"You were so devoted to him, you couldn't see beyond being his wife. You didn't see his faults, couldn't see through his lies. You allowed your love for him to dictate your life ever since you met him. It's time for you to think of yourself. To live for Bella."

Before I could respond there was a knock on the front door.

"I have to go, someone is knocking."

"I thought that might happen."

"What do you mean?"

"Goodnight Bella!" She hung up before I could respond.

I narrowed my eyes at the now silent phone before going to the door. Opening it, I gasped at who I found standing there.

Edward.

He had his hands shoved in his jean pockets, his head lowered. His eyes looked up to focus on me. His lips were in a tight line, standing there silently.

"Edward." I was the first to speak after moments of silence.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"I-I told you."

"You told me you wanted to make your husband jealous. He's dead Bella! He isn't here to make green-eyed."

No, he wasn't. The only green eyes I could see were the ones staring back at me. The ones I could lose myself in.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have used you like that. I hope you wont allow my actions to affect your relationship with EJ. He is truly fond of you and would be devastated if you suddenly stopped coming to see him."

"I don't know what you think of me, but I would never do that to a child."

"I didn't mean to imply-"

"Didn't mean what, Bella? To insinuate I would be cruel enough to abandon a child I know has become invested in my time spent with him?" He said in a low voice, stepping forward into the house.

I was taking steps backward, matching his that were moving forward. I stopped when my back hit a wall, my palms flattening on the surface behind me.

"I don't play games, and I don't allow others to play them with me." He said quietly, looking down at me with fire in his eyes. "If you kiss me again, you better mean it."

"I wont kiss you again." I promised, my eyes now focused on said lips.

As I stared at his full bottom lip I could feel it on my own, how they felt pressed against mine. The exquisite taste of what could only be described as Edward.

I was filled with mixed emotions. I felt like a cheater, Jacobs death still too fresh to move on from. I felt wanton, my body craving the feel of Edward's. Wanting to press myself against him and his lips to mine. The want was so much that I tightened my thighs together, trying to extinguish the throbbing that began.

"I can see it in your eyes, you are lying."

"Lying?" I whispered.

He was now only inches away, I could feel the heat of his body.

"You promised not to kiss me again. That' a lie. I can see it on your face. You want me."

"I don't." I denied with a shake of my head.

"You do, your body is craving my touch." His husky voice declared lowly. "I can see the strain as you try to keep still. Your nipples are hard." His eyes roaming over my chest. "I see you wiggling your hips. Do you feel me there? Are you aching for my touch, Bella?" He practically purred.

I realized I was dressed in nothing more than a thin t-shirt and a pair of my yoga shorts.

"I bet if I reach down and touch you I will feel your wetness seeping through those almost nonexistent shorts." He was now close enough my nipples were being brushed against his hard chest.

I had to hold back a moan at the light touch. My chest hurt as I struggled to keep my breathing controlled. I was nothing more than a ball of need and want that I was fighting to keep hidden. All these years with Jacob, I had never felt such desire. I felt as if I was going to burst like a balloon if he didn't touch me, the need unbearable.

"You can't lie, your eyes are like an open book." His voice cracked, as if he also was fighting to control his own desire.

 _He couldn't possibly want me as I want him._

I'm a mother, a widow. Used goods, baggage to a man like Edward. He could have anyone he wanted, why would he want me? I was twenty eight with a mound of debt hanging over my head, two children to care for, and no clear outlook to what my future might hold.

"How old are you?"

He seemed confused over my random question.

"Twenty five." He said slowly.

"Edward, I am twenty eight. I am three years older than you and having no achievements other than my children. You just finished Harvard Law, I just lost a husband. I'm losing everything I own because said husband didn't invest our money wisely. What on earth could you possibly want with me?"

"I see a beautiful woman with a kind heart. A woman who is a wonderful mother to her children. I can see the woman you are beneath the person you have allowed yourself to become, the one who is just starting to show through."

"You need to go."

"I don't believe you."

 _Because I don't mean it._

"I have nothing to offer you."

"You have everything to offer."

He was close enough now that his nose was skimming the side of mine.

"Edward, I have been seeing my dead husband. I don't think I am in any position to become romantically involved with someone. I love him. I still love Jacob."

I did love Jacob, that wasn't a lie. Now though, after everything I have found out and the time that has passed; I wasn't _in love_ with him. I loved him for the time we had together, the good memories. For being the father to my children, I no longer loved him as my husband though. He had been nothing more than a liar to me. He took all of my love and didn't give enough back. He wasn't enough anymore, even if he wasn't deceased. If he were alive, he still wouldn't be enough any longer.

"Give in." Edward pleaded, his eyes closed as our lips stayed separated, though only by millimeters.

I could feel the heat of his lips, taste him on my tongue. He smelled like mint and sandalwood. An odd, yet delectable combination.

"I can't." I whimpered, willing my body not to rub against his.

He breathed in heavily, resting his forehead on the wall behind me. I felt his erection then, as it twitched where it was pressed against my stomach. My eyes snapped open wide, sucking in a quick gasp of air. He must have realized what I had felt because he jumped back quickly, turning so that his back was to me.

"Fuck." I heard him say under his breath. "I apologize, Bella. I shouldn't have come here like this. Goodnight." He said dully without facing me and began walking toward the door.

"Edward?" Came a sleepy little voice from the stairs, sounding more like Edwood.

If I wasn't such a mess, I would have found my sons mispronunciation adorable. As it was, it was difficult enough to make my legs work and walk over to the bottom of the stairs.

"EJ Honey, what are you doing awake?"

"I had a scary dream. Edward, why are you here at bedtime?"

"I was just saying goodnight to your Mommy, buddy."

"I'll come tuck you back in."

"No! I want Edward." His bottom lip protruding and quivering.

"I got you, if that's alright?" He was headed up the stairs, stopping to turn to me in question.

I couldn't meet his eyes and nodded my consent.

I went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea, willing my body to relax. By the time my cup was drained I still felt like a quivering mess of nerves. I walked up the stairs, the house silent. Tiptoeing into EJ's room I found Edward laying on the bed, EJ sprawled out on top of him fast asleep. They were both snoring softly, the rise of Edward's chest probably rocked EJ into a deep sleep. That was how he always slept of me when he was an infant. I allowed a small smile to play on my lips, grabbing an extra blanket from EJ's closet and covering them up with it.

As I turned to leave the room, I caught a brief image of Jacob. He was looking at EJ and Edward, his face looking on sadly before vanishing from sight completely.

* * *

 **I am very excited about this chapter and can not wait to read your responses! I decided to update early for that reason and because I was curious to see if more readers preferred a Saturday update to a Sunday update. What is your personal preference?**

 **A shout to Debbie for all her support, go check out her facebook page, cheatward. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all my readers! Don't be shy with your reviews, only because I can't wait to see what you all thought! Much love.**


	10. Worry List

"Mamma!"

I grunted, awake instantly as a little body jumped on top of me.

"I'm awake, I'm awake." I groaned, finding EJ grinning widely at me.

"Edward, she's awake!"

"I thought I told you to let her sleep." Edward's voice, filled with humor, came from the doorway.

I turned, now fully awake upon seeing Edward standing in my bedroom doorway smirking. He held a tray in his hands and walked further into the room.

"We made you breakfast in bed." EJ declared excitedly. "I helped Edward make pancakes."

"I picked flowers!" Maddie sang, joining the little group that was inside my room.

Edward sat the tray over my lap once I was sitting up, pillows propped behind my back.

"You didn't have to do this." I mouthed to him. "EJ, this looks delicious! Maddie, those are the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen."

"They are from your garden, Edward said it was okay to pick some."

The tray held a plate of chocolate chip pancakes smothered in syrup and whip cream, a bowl of strawberries, and a bowl filled with flower buds.

"Maddie forgot to pick the stems again." EJ eyed his sister with a frown.

"They are perfect, the look lovely floating in the water this way."

He seemed to lighten up and removed the dirty look on his face.

"Edward ate with me and Maddie in the kitchen. This is just for you. Did you know Edward stayed over with me? I woke up and there he was!" His voice almost too chipper this early in the morning.

"I hope they didn't wake you too early this morning."

"I like waking up early on the weekends." Edward winked. "Six was the perfect time. We were awake in time for Sunday morning cartoons."

I winced at the time, feeling bad for not bringing EJ in with me so that Edward would have been left undisturbed.

"Knock knock!" Emmett's booming voice came from downstairs.

"Uncle Emmett!" EJ and Maddie squealed, running out of the room in a flash at the sound of Emmett.

"Did you know he was coming over?" I asked Edward.

"No, I will go down there. Eat your breakfast, take a bath."

"I couldn't-"

"Bella, this is your time. Probably the first you have had in a long time. Relax. I can handle the kids for a few hours."

He didn't give me a chance to argue further, stunning me into silence with a kiss to the cheek before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

I could hear faint giggles coming from EJ and Maddie, Emmett more than likely the cause. I debated for all of thirty seconds before I allowed a giddy smile to fill my face. Jumping from the bed I started the bath and added some of my favorite lavender bubble bath to it. I set my bath tray over the bath, adding the breakfast tray and a book before stripping and slipping into the hot water. I sighed contentedly as the water soothed me, breathing in the heady smell of lavender. Alice knew it was my favorite and had bought it for me for my birthday, I had only used it once. Jacob wasn't home often enough to enjoy time alone for this sort of thing.

I sat up slightly, cutting my first bite of pancake with the side of my fork and sliding it into my mouth.

"Holy shit." I moaned at first taste.

They were thick and airy, perfectly golden without being crispy. The chocolate held its shape but melted when it hit my tongue. I picked up the mug and sipped on the coffee, the bitterness balancing out the sweetness of the pastry perfectly.

"The man is not only sexy, but can cook too." I sighed, closing my eyes and sinking into the tub once my breakfast was finished.

"I could cook."

My eyes popped open, not willing to look toward where his voice came from.

"You knew how to order delivery." I smirked, finally turning to see him sitting beside the bath.

The tip of his fingers twirled the surface of the water, making little ripples.

"This smells nice, is it new?"

"No, you just never gave me enough time to take a bath. The kids needed someone to be there with them."

He stayed silent, continuing with his pattern in the water. I rolled my eyes and closed them once more.

"Do you like him?"

"What's not to like?" I mumbled.

"Am I that easily replaced?"

"I apparently was!" I raised my voice, sitting up. "Look at me, sitting in a bathtub arguing with my dead husband. I should be on Dr. Phil."

"I didn't replace you."

"Bullshit Jake! You had an affair, for months! All those times you should have been with us, you chose her over your family. You are lucky you're already dead or I would kick your ass right now! Have you heard the things EJ has said about you? He truly believes you didn't like him at all!"

"Yeah, well, _Edward_ seems to have easily slid into my role."

"You stopped having a role in our family when you stuck your dick inside of someone else."

"Since when do you speak in such a crude manner? That's not the wife I married."

"You're right, I'm not that girl anymore. I was young and foolish, I thought your controlling nature was your way of loving me. I now realize it was just your way to make sure you had the life you wanted."

"She tricked me! I didn't want her."

"Yeah, she tied your shoe laces together; causing you to trip and slide right inside of her."

"It was all a ploy!"

"Says the dead man. If you were still alive, would I be served with divorce papers already?"

"I would never have asked you for a divorce."

"Right, it wouldn't keep up with your image. Tell me, would you bring Tanya and the baby to our house on Christmas morning? Would you have begged me to blend us into one big family? Were we the next sister wives?"

"Will you shut up and listen?" He stood to pace and pull on his hair.

"No, you listen! You are gone! You can't show up and give me demands. You want me to keep the house, with what money Jacob? As it is, I will have lawyer fees to pay so that Tanya doesn't take anything more away from our children. You don't want me near Edward, well guess what? He has given your children more attention the past few weeks than you had in months! Fuck you Jacob Black! Go burn in hell already!"

"This is hell! Watching another man hold my children, seeing him touch my wife. Knowing any day now you will leave and I will most likely be stuck here alone. I blink my eyes and hours, days have passed. I have no memory of the time in between. I'm sorry, Bella. So fucking sorry I did this to you. If I could have a redo, I would fix everything. I'd still be here with you. Regardless of how you feel, I loved you. I loved you more than life itself."

"You are full of shit, Jake. You loved the picture we made. You got your wife, your two kids, the house, and a career."

"Is it such a bad thing to want for more? I grew up dirt poor, wearing second hand clothing and shoes. Hell, even third me downs. I ate government provided food, always wanting for things I couldn't have. I put everything I had into school, determined to have more. You were the first person to ever look at me and not see the poor kid from the reservation. You looked at me as if I were your sun, and I craved it. Craved you. You made me feel like I was something more. The night you gave yourself to me, I prayed. Wishing for everything. I know you think I got you pregnant on purpose, and maybe I did but it wasn't a conscious decision. I realized while we made love that I didn't have a condom on, knowing you weren't on birth control. Instead of stopping, I prayed for a baby. I wanted you to have my children. I wanted to tell the whole world Jacob Black was capable of having someone like you for a wife. I know I over spent, but I wanted you to have the best of everything."

" _You_ wanted the best of everything, I only wanted you." By now tears were streaming down my face.

"I was there last night. I saw him with you, the words he said."

"Don't expect an apology." I snorted.

"Be careful. I know I wasn't the husband you needed, but don't rush into anything just to spite me. Think of Maddie and EJ."

"Why didn't you think of them while you were here? I have always thought of them!"

"Bella, are you alright?" A knock came from the bathroom door and Rosalie's voice carrying through the wood.

"Come in, Rose!"

I ducked under the water, hoping it would wash away the evidence of my tears.

"I thought I heard you talking with someone." She looked around the bathroom with confusion before looking at me. "Oh Honey, are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"You're eyes are bloodshot, you don't have to lie to me. I wont judge you. Regardless of what he did, Jacob was still your husband."

"I didn't realize you were here with Emmett or I would have come down."

"Oh no," She waved her hand at me. "Edward told me what he planned and I couldn't agree with him more. You deserve some quiet time. Though I did come and interrupt it." She frowned.

"No, you didn't. I'm happy you're here."

"Let me paint your toes and you can tell me all about it."

She smiled, going to my vanity table and opening the drawer she knew held my nail polish.

"All about what?"

"Well, Edward's clothes look sleep rumpled and he was here at eight in the morning. She cocked an eyebrow at me. "I grew up with him, I know how crazy his hair looks when he wakes up."

"Rose! It's not like that. He came over last night and EJ woke up wanting him to put him back into bed. They ended up falling asleep so I left them there. He slept in EJ's bed, I slept in my own bed. Alone."

"If you say so." She winked.

"I mean it!"

"Calm down," She laughed out. "I believe you. Though I never liked Jacob, I understand why you would still be grieving. I wont judge you for being attracted to my brother."

"I am not attracted to Edward."

"Liar." She smirked as I scowled at her."

"Finish my toes so I can get out of the bath, I'm starting to prune."

"He like you too, you know."

"He likes the kids."

"Do you really think a grown man would be around as much as he is if it were only for the kids? Wouldn't he come to take them to the park or something rather than making sure you are around also?"

"He's young, freshly out of college, and starting a new career. I am a widowed mother of two and now in debt up to my eyeballs. Trust me, he isn't interested."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that?"

* * *

I walked down the stairs in search of my children and friends. Rose had left me alone to dress and help Emmett and Edward with the kids. The giggles and screams were no longer filling the house as they had only moments before. Going into the living room I found Edward laying on the couch, Maddie on one side and EJ on the other as he read to them from the open book in his lap. None of them had notices me, Maddie and EJ concentrating on the pictures and Edward reading the words in a soft voice. Maddie was nodding off and as I stepped forward to retrieve her and lay her down for a nap, Edward's actions stunned me in place. Just as her eyes closed I watched in amazement as he smiled gentle and bent to kiss her forehead as it drooped before resuming with the story for EJ who was looking up at Edward with a solemn expression. I stepped back out, still unnoticed, wanting to watch as they interacted uninterrupted.

The story was over and as Edward closed the book EJ once more looked up at him.

"Edward, are you my new Daddy?"

Edward and I both sucked in a breath at the same moment.

"Why do you ask, Buddy?"

"Well, you play with me and read stories. You were here when I woke up and cooked breakfast for Mamma. You don't tell me to go away like my old Daddy did. You like me better than he did. Now that my old Daddy is gone, are you going to be my new one?"

"I'm sure I don't like you more than your Dad did."

"Yes you do! I can tell, he didn't like me much and you like me lots. Do you like my Mamma?"

"Of course I like you lots and lots." Edward grinned.

"Well? Can I call you Daddy now?"

Edward shifted his eyes, looking unsure of himself. It was the first time I had ever seen him look uneasy.

"EJ, I like you a whole lot. I think you have to be one of the best boy's I have ever met. I know you miss your Daddy, but I can't replace him. I think it would be best to have you still call me Edward."

"You don't want me?" EJ whispered, his lip wobbling.

"You, Jacob Eli William Black, have become on of my best friends. Doesn't that mean I would have to like you a whole lot?"

"You're my best friend too." EJ sighed, snuggling his face into Edward's chest and falling asleep like his sister before him.

Edward sighed, closing his eyes as he rested his cheek on the top of EJ's head, his hands rubbing both their backs as they napped on him.

"My children falling asleep on top of you seems to have become a habit." I said after clearing my throat and walking back into the room.

"They did wake up early, it's not surprising they are tired."

"Were did Rose and Emmett go?"

"They are meeting my parents for lunch. Actually, I am suppose to meet them at the restaurant." He furrowed his brow, looking at his wrist watch.

"I will get Maddie off of you, if you wouldn't mind carrying EJ up to his bed?"

"Of course."

We were silent as we walked up the stairs together and put the kids into they own beds to finish their nap.

"I'd ask you to join us but-"

"Edward, I appreciate the thought. Even if the kids weren't sleeping, I would have to decline. I want to apologize again for my behavior yesterday, I shouldn't have led you on. I'm not ready for any sort of relationship yet, if ever."

His narrowed eyes bore into mine, each of us silent for what felt like minutes before he spoke.

"I know you aren't ready yet, and I also apologize for yesterday. I shouldn't have come here last night like I did knowing you aren't ready. I'm willing to be here for anything you need. Anything." He pressed on. "As a warning, I meant what I said last night. I don't play games and don't allow others to do so at my sake. The next time you kiss me, you had better be sure you _are_ ready. Goodbye, Bella."

I was stunned into silence, standing at the top of the stairs and watching as he walked down and out of the house.

"Well isn't he charming." A voice snickered behind me.

"Shut up, Jacob."


	11. Crash and Burn

"Well, that went better than expected." Jasper said, giving me a blinding smile.

I wasn't needed in the court room but decided to wait outside for Jasper and Edward.

"The judge agreed with us. Tanya isn't entitled to any of the money left to you by Jacob. There will be another court date once she decides if she will wait for the baby to be born for a DNA test or through amniocentesis testing."

"What about the reading of the will?"

"He threw it out." A different voice said, stepping out from behind Jasper and Edward.

I eyed the woman who thread her arm through Edward's, the smile she sent me making me want to sneer.

She was taller than I was, though that could have been the benefit of her four inch heels. She also appeared to have a figure that benefited from not having children, unlike my own curvy figure. Her long blond hair reached her hips and had a curl to it.

"This is Jessica Stanley. I called her and asked if she would help our case."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Black." She stuck her hand out, grasping mine firmly.

"It's Ms. Swan. I've gone back to my maiden name."

"Oh, please excuse my mistake."

"Jess and Edward were in law school together, he mentioned volunteer work she had done that was similar to your case."

"And here I am!" She sang, throwing her head back slightly with a laugh.

Edward looked at her with amusement, a smile playing on his lips.

"She blew it out of the water. The will specifically states that the only way anything will go to Tanya is if the child is hers. Even then, whatever percentage the court decides upon will be placed into a trust." Edward gushed.

"It was nothing you couldn't have done." She winked at him, slapping at his chest playfully.

 _She fucking winked!_

"Should we celebrate?" Jessica asked, looking at the three of us in turn.

"I have to get back to Alice, Bastion has a therapy appointment I can't miss." He bent and kissed my cheek, then Jessica's before breaking into a jog toward his car.

I am ashamed to admit I may have bristled over his fondness of Jessica.

"That leaves the three of us! Come on Bella, I can't wait to get to know you better." She smiled, leaving Edward's side for mine.

I glanced at Edward with narrowed eyes but allowed her to drag me toward his car.

"I should get back to my children."

"Please, Emmett already text me pictures. He and Rose brought them to the new bounce house that opened where the gym used to be." Edward smirked and handed me his phone so I could see the said picture.

There was one of Emmett and EJ together in mid jump. Emmett had EJ lifted above his head so that he could throw a ball through an inflatable basketball hoop. The second was of Rose and Maddie in mid laughter as they went down a huge slide.

"They have to be the cutest kids I have ever seen!"

"Thanks." I said reluctantly and handed Edward back his phone. "Only for one drink, okay?"

"And dinner, I'm starved!" Jessica insisted as she slipped into the front passenger seat.

I glanced at Edward and he shrugged apologetically, holding the rear door open for me.

I had barely said two words all night, Jessica was more than willing to fill in the gaps. She had been going on and on about her time spent with Edward at college. I only had to nod my head in response and sip on my cocktail or shove pieces of bread into my mouth. I speared a piece of lettuce and chicken, glaring at the huge plate of pasta in front of Jessica. She looked like she didn't have an ounce of fat on her, and there she sat emptying a plate of carbs. It wasn't fair.

Edward kept giving me unreadable glances. It had been a week since he left my house that night and we hadn't spoken since. I had also not seen Jacob. I was envious of the way Jessica could bring laughter out of him, the smiles he gave her instead of me. Of course it was ridiculous, I was the one who insisted it was all a mistake and that I wasn't ready for any sort of relationship with him.

I couldn't help but feel a bit of hurt though when it was Jasper who contacted me about the hearing and kept me up to date. Edward's name wasn't even mentioned.

I barely heard the conversation that was flowing around me, startled when both Jessica and Edward stood up and walked off. I was about to stand myself, thinking we were leaving till I saw their direction. I stayed seated and watched with green eyes as they began dancing out on the small dance floor. The way she slid her body against his, and the way his hands flew over her body as they danced seductively. Before the song was even halfway over I got to my feet and rushed out of the building. I leaned against the cool brick of the building and pulled in deep breaths of crisp air as I haled for a cab. Luckily it wasn't busy and I was able to catch a cab drivers attention right away. I slid into the back of the car, rambling off my address just as Edward burst out the door, his head whipping back and forth as he frantically searched for me. As the cab slowly pulled away from the curb, he caught sight of me. He watched me with a frown, staring till neither of us were visible any longer.

Four hours spent beside on another and hardly a word spoken. A few moments of eye contact was the most we interacted. I thought this was what I had wanted, but the pain in my chest was telling me otherwise. I no longer thought the best option was to be separated from this man.

When I was halfway home I sent Rose a text, telling her she could bring the kids home whenever they were ready. She asked to keep them over night so I agreed to pack them overnight bags and bring them over to their house soon. The cab stopped and I was still typing out my reply as I paid and got out of the car.

"Isabella."

I stopped in front of the porch steps, looking up to see Embry sitting on my porch swing.

"You aren't welcome here." I seethed, angry quickly boiling up inside of me.

"I'm not the one you should be aiming your anger at."

"Well Jacob's gone. You seem rather willing to step into his shoes beside his whore."

I could see Jacob's angry face from the window behind Embry, his palms banging on the window pane noiselessly.

"I came to recommend you not to fight this mess in court."

"What mess? You mean Jacob's mistress trying to steal whatever money is left from Jacob's and my children?"

"You risk losing everything." He shook his head slowly.

"Get off my property! He may have been your cousin but he was my husband!"

"Not for much longer. He was planning on divorcing you and marrying Tanya. The night he died, he called me to draw up the papers."

"You're lying." I stated firmly even though my insides were a quivering mess.

Jacob was watching me with wide eyes, shaking his head in denial. My heart began to pound as I watched his eyes grow even rounder with what seemed to be fear when Embry got to his feet and walked closer to me.

"Embry, you need to leave. Don't make me call my father."

"You act as if you are scared of me." His voice low, a half smile appearing on his face.

He stopped directly in front of me, his eyes cold as he stared into mine.

"Be careful Bella, I would hate for something to happen to you and have your kids left without both their parents."

My body was now visibly shaking as he walked away without looking back, the lights inside the house were flashing on and off as Jacobs form seemed to blink in front of various windows, fighting to get his way out of his prison.

The sound of screeching tires drew me out of my fear induced haze, Alice's car coming to a jolting halt in my driveway. She ran from her car, leaving the door open behind her.

"Oh my god, thank goodness you are alright!" She wailed, grabbing me into a tight embrace. "Was that Embry I saw leaving your house?"

"Slow down, Alice. What are you doing here?"

"Jacob." She whispered. "Jasper must think I'm crazy. I was cleaning up the dinner dishes when I caught a glimpse of Jacob waving at me frantically, his mouth was open as if he were screaming. I couldn't hear him but he was saying your name. I ran out of the house without so much as a goodbye to Jasper. I knew if Jacob was coming to me that you must be in some sort of trouble."

"Jacob came to you?"

I looked back at the house and saw everything was now still. The lights were no longer flickering and I couldn't find Jacob looking out of any of the windows.

"How did he do that? I thought he was trapped in the house."

"Obviously I have no idea, I don't think anyone knows how this all works." She waved her hands at the house. "Was that Embry I saw?" She repeated her question.

Before I could answer her a second pair of headlights flooded my driveway.

"Bella!" Edward came running forward much like Alice just had.

"You called Edward?" I accused, admitting to myself how much I sounded like Maddie when she whined.

"Well..." Alice drawled while looking at me guilty. "I wasn't sure what I would find! Jasper had to stay with Bastion and Edward is second best."

"Not my father who is chief of police?" I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"And tell him what? _I think his daughter is in trouble because your dead son in-law just appeared before me_?"

"Are you alright?"

I narrowed my eyes as Jessica came running up behind Edward.

"I'm fine. False alarm." I glared, turning my back to them and unlocking my front door. "Thank you for your concern Alice, but now I need to pack a bag for the kids. They are sleeping over at Emmett's."

"I'll drop it off for you on my way home." Alice volunteered.

Emmett and Rose lived a block away from Alice and Jasper. Edward was still away at college and they had wanted to be close together. Their parents house sat at the edge of town but their children considered that to far away from the law office.

"Thanks Alice. Goodnight Edward and Jessica."

I didn't wait for a response as I led the way into my house and re locked the door behind us.

Alice finally calmed enough to leave me on my own, making me promise to keep the windows and doors locked and my phone on me at all times. I had just poured myself a glass of wine when someone knocked on my door.

It was like deja vu seeing Edward leaning against the door frame much as he had the first night he showed up like this.

"Edward?"

"Why did you leave the restaurant tonight?"

"You were busy, I didn't think you would notice."

"You were jealous?" Humor shining in his eyes now.

"I have nothing to be jealous about."

"So you wouldn't care if Jessica and I were dating?" He asked, his voice lowering and taking a step past me.

"I didn't invite you in!" I yelled after him, quickly closing the door.

"What about the image of me kissing her? Do you close your eyes and see my hand gripping her pony tail, pulling so that her neck is exposed for my lips to explore?"

I did close my eyes and turn my back to him, refusing him to see me growing upset. I gasped in shock when he pulled me roughly backward so that my back was pressed against his chest. Crying out when his hand grabbed my hair just as he described and pulled.

"Just like this, would it bother you if I did this to Jess?" He growled against my over heated skin. His mouth was open with his lips pressed to my neck, gliding slowly over it with his tongue peaking out to leave a wet trail. "Or my teeth marking her?" He added, nipping at my ear lobe so suddenly I couldn't suppress the sound of desire that escaped me.

His free arm reached around and wrapped around my waist, pushing me into him even more. I could feel his erection pressing into me, his hips bucking once.

"You have no idea what you do to me. Your smell, the way your eyes look when you gaze at me, the sound of your voice. You drive me crazy, Bella."

"That's why you have stayed away this past week." I scoffed, trying to pull away.

My movement only caused his grip to tighten and grind his hips into mine.

"Feel what you do to me." He purred, returning his lips to my neck. "I stayed away because I thought that was what you wanted. I was trying to respect your wishes."

"Then why are you here now?"

"Because only being able to look at you today wasn't enough. I needed to feel you."

I closed my eyes once again, allowing myself to enjoy the feel of his touch.

"Edward, you should go." My brain insisted on butting in much to my body's dismay.

"I don't think you mean it."

"Because I don't. I think neither of us wants me to wake up in the morning feeling regret though."

"You wont, I will make you feel so wonderful you could never regret allowing me to stay."

I almost caved till his phone rang.

"Fuck." He growled, yanking his phone out of his pocket. "What?" He snapped into the receiver.

I could hear the sound of Jessica's voice though not make out the words she was saying. It was enough for me to try to pull away though and his distraction allowed for space to grow between our hormone ridden bodies.

"I'm sorry, I will be right there." He said, hanging up. "Bella-"

"Save it. Goodnight Edward."

"Wait, what happened tonight? Why did Alice call me? She wouldn't tell me anything after we left."

"Nothing happened, she over reacted."

"Humor me, what made her over react?"

"Embry was here when I got home." I admitted.

"As in Embry Black? What did he want?" He asked with furrowed brows, his face turning slightly pink with anger.

"I'm not really sure what his purpose was other than to demand me to stop with the court proceedings."

"Did he say what his interest was in all this?"

"No."

I wanted to tell him Embry's exact words, that he had threatened me in a way. Seeing how angry he was already though I knew if I did he would leave and hunt out Embry. I didn't want anything happening to him, something was off about Embry. He felt dangerous.

"You aren't telling me something."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"I can also sense when you lie. You are lying to me now about Embry just as you were when you told me you don't want me." Taking a step to remove the distance between us.

"Stop." I put my hand out in front of me. "Jessica is waiting for you, remember?"

"Jessica is-"

"I don't want to hear it! I saw you two dancing, it said everything. I don't know what you want with me but it's obvious we aren't looking for the same thing. I don't need a casual fling, someone my kids grow attached to and grieve for when you decide you've had enough. My husband is dead, I have accepted it, I have grieved for him and now know it's time to move forward. My children need me to be strong for them and create a new life, but you will not be part of it."

"Do you truly think that's what I am looking for? You insulted me before of my feelings for EJ and now you are doing it again. I love your children. I know I could love you too if you put your walls down long enough to let me in." He exclaimed, arms out wide in a pleading stance.

"I've had love." I spit out, shaking my head as tears threatened to spill. "I wont ever put myself in the same position again, giving someone the power to hurt me in such a way again."

"Not everyone is Jacob."

"I didn't think Jacob was like that till it was to late to show some self dignity. I was naive and stupid, blind to what was right in front of me. I allowed myself to be so trusting I couldn't see I was nothing more than foolish. I will never be weak again. I want Maddie to grow up stronger than I have been, I need to set that example."

"I want that for you. You weren't stupid, you gave your all to your husband. There is nothing wrong with that, what's wrong is how he treated your gift with so little respect. You can't call off love for the rest of your life because of the actions of one man. He was the stupid one for not seeing what he already had. Let me in Bella! Let me in." He fell to his knees, grabbing my hands in his as he pleaded. "You have consumed me, even in my dreams. Do you know how many girls had thrown themselves at me"

I scoffed but he continued before I could speak.

"No listen, there were many. In high school and even more at college. They knew I came from money, they were shallow. Only wanting me for my looks and social standing. Not for me, just Edward, but because I was a Cullen. I wont claim to be innocent, that I didn't use their desire for my own pleasure occasionally. You are the first woman I have ever met that has captivated me. I want to know all your thoughts, secrets, desires. I want to hold you, kiss you."

The tears that I fought against were now sliding down my cheeks as I shook my head at him.

"You need to go." I whispered.

"I wont keep making a fool of myself. I will keep wanting you, but I can't keep coming only to be denied and sent away. When you realize you are worth so much more than what Jacob gave you, come find me. Don't do it till your sure though. Don't break my heart."

"Thank you for coming!" Alice wrapped me into a hug as the kids ran ahead of us yelling for their uncles.

"I wouldn't miss it."

Alice and Jasper invited their family over for Bastion's first get together. He had met everyone individually but this would be the first time with all of us at once.

"Edward!" I heard EJ squeal.

We walked out of the house and into the backyard, finding Edward kneeling on the grass and EJ clinging to him.

"How is that situation going?"

"What situation?"

"You and Edward." She gave me a knowing look.

"There is nothing to say. He's a friend."

"A friend you have been avoiding for two weeks."

"Alice." I warned.

"Alright, I'm sorry." She relented. "So you said you found a house?"

"I think so, I am waiting to hear back from the owners."

"You aren't buying?"

"No, everything is either too expensive or if I can afford it not big enough for the three of us. I was about to put in an offer for something small and make EJ and Maddie share a room when the Realtor called. A house was recently listed for renting month to month."

"Isn't it more expensive to rent?"

"I thought so to but the owner is asking for very little, it's cheaper than my mortgage."

"I think anything is cheaper than your current mortgage." Alice giggled.

"True, Jacob did insist on one of the biggest houses in town. I don't think anything competes with your in-laws home though."

"Yes, but they had it built to Esme's specifications. They wanted enough rooms their children could always go back home."

"What about Edward, is he still staying with them?"

"Sadly my son has decided to move out."

"Esme! I wasn't trying to pry." I turned around startled.

"Of course you weren't, you know you are part of our family." She smiled warmly. "Edward recently purchased a home in town and will be moving in this week. When are you moving?"

"I'm not sure, no sooner than a few weeks I'm sure. There are a lot of loose ends to deal with."

We all turned to look when EJ's giggle filled the air. Edward was tossing him around with Jessica laughing beside them. She clung to Edward's arm as EJ was set to his feet and he went running off to play with Maddie and Bastion who were kicking a ball around with Emmett.

I had pushed him to her but it still hurt to see. I was once again regretting my words, worried I had ruined my chance of happiness with Edward Cullen. He bent his head, allowing Jessica to say something into his ear as his eyes caught mine. We stared at each other, in a trance; only stopping when he looked at Jessica and gave her a warm smile.


	12. Undo It

The kids were back in school and I was suppose to be job hunting. After sitting at the coffee shop filling out resumes I felt a bit defeated and got back into my car to drive and try to clear my head. I ended up stopping at the house I told Alice about. What I hadn't told her was it was near her own home, only a few blocks away. It was for sale for almost a year when the owners decided to try renting it out after no prospective buyers. I had also failed to tell her it was like a dream house to me. Even though it was walking distance to other homes, it sat on the back of a wooded lot. It had a cottage feel with an old barn wood fence lining the unusually large front yard with flower beds filled of wild flowers. The house itself was a simple two story with grayish blue siding. The front door was a red and trim a bright white. I had yet to see the inside of it, still waiting for the Realtor to call me back. My instinct told me the inside would be just as perfect as the outside was. It was described as a four bedroom which would be more than enough room for the kids and I. I shut off the car and stepped out to lean against my door and look at it with longing. If this worked out I would be able to sell the house, which I was assured would sell quickly and leave me with enough profit to pay off one of the cars and sell the other. I was including the furniture with the house with the exception of the kids bedrooms. I wanted them to keep what was familiar to them, give them some sense of comfort in the changes that were happening in their young life. While lost in thought I hadn't noticed a car pulling into the drive till the door slammed shut, jarring me out of my day dreaming. The person was none other than Edward Cullen.

 _Of course._

"Bella?"

I listed my hand and gave a slight wave, turning to get back into the car.

"Wait up!" He called, jogging from the drive way to where my car was parked across the street. "What are you doing here? Did Alice call you?"

"Why would Alice call me?"

"I thought, well, I told her I was getting the keys today." He stumbled out, looking down at this shoes. "I guess I was hoping she told you and you came to see me."

"Why isn't Jessica with you?"

"You really don't like her, do you?"

"Wait, get the keys?" My heart was pounding.

He couldn't mean...

"Yeah, for the house."

"You bought _this_ house?"

"Um, yeah." He scratched the back of his head, looking at me cautiously.

"You have to be kidding me! Is everything in my life going to fall through in some shape or form?" I yelled out, looking up at the sky in defeat.

"Did I do something wrong? Well, again, anyway?"

"I wanted this house! I have been waiting for the Realtor to call me back about renting this place! It's my house, give it back!" I knew I was being unreasonable and a bit crazed.

I was in no mindset to stop myself though.

He quirked one eyebrow and smirked at my outburst.

"It isn't funny. Now I will have to start my search all over or move into a house that is much to small for us."

"I suppose you could always move in with me." He full on smiled this time.

"This is not the time to crack jokes." My scowl deepening.

"Actually now that the idea has come to mind, it could work. Till you found somewhere more stable."

"What could work out?" Giving him a wary look.

"You could move into the house with me. If you were planning on moving in, you already know it has four bedrooms. One for each of us."

"I am not living with you."

"I figured you would say as such, but just remember it is an option. Till you find something else. That way you could sell the house and save more of your money. The house will sell quickly, you could even pay rent if that will make it seem more reputable."

"What about Jessica?"

"What about her?" His look growing confused. "I'm still trying to grasp what it is exactly you don't like about her. She speaks very highly of you after meeting you only a couple of times.

I didn't speak but instead sniffed, getting back into my car.

"Look, I know I was out of line. A complete ass. I shouldn't have been pressuring you like I did that night I showed up at your house. Regardless of my actions, I truly want to be your friend. If you need anything at all, call me. I'm also serious about the house. If you run out of options and truly need a place to stay you and the kids will have more than enough room here. I will be working most of the time and hardly even be at the house so you will have plenty of privacy. You also do not have to fear me. I assure you, what happened before wont happen again."

"Thank you for apologize, but it doesn't change anything."

"Can you accept my friendship?"

I stared at him for a moment before answering, searching for the truth behind his words. I only found honesty. I admit I am not the best judge of character considering Jacob's past, but there was something inside of me that was telling me to trust him.

"Yes."

He gave a huge sigh and smiled brilliantly.

"Thank you for giving me another chance. I will not lie and say I am not attracted to you and that I am hopeful for the future, but I am willing to take it day by day. I talked with Jasper about my feelings and he made me realize I was pressuring you."

"I wasn't stopping you. It was both of us, not just you."

"Think about the house offer, okay? Strictly roommate status." He winked.

"Edward." I scolded as if he were EJ. "I appreciate the offer but I can not allow myself to move from one bad situation to another. I will not depend on another as I have depended on Jacob. I need to stand on my own two feet. Also, it wouldn't be fair to the kids. They are leaving the only home they have ever known and I can't have them switch from that to your home. They wouldn't understand when it was time to leave once again after growing comfortable living with you. They will only grow even more attached to you and be angry and feel ripped away from you when we find our own home."

"I respect that. It's admirable to want to take care of yourself and the kids on your own. If something happens though and you need a little help, you know where to turn."

"Thank you."

"Do you think we could do dinner one night this week? With the kids, not a date." He rushed. "I miss hanging out with them."

"I think we could do that. EJ has been asking why you haven't been around. You will have to tell him no though when he asks for another sleep over!"

He laughed and nodded.

"Well, good luck with the move."

"Thanks."

Another car pulled into the driveway and Jessica got out of it.

"Hi Bella!" She called out cheerfully, waving excitedly. "Isn't this house great?"

"Super." I forced a smile and returned the wave.

"Bye, Edward."

I waited for him to move back from the car before driving off, refusing myself the desire to look in the rear view mirror.

"Is she moving here?"

"Is who moving where?" Alice asked distractedly as she sipped her coffee.

"Jessica. Is she moving here?"

"I don't believe so. I haven't heard that anyway. She is closer to Edward than anyone else. I only met her a few times."

"I see."

"I hear you ran into Edward."

"News travels fast." I grumbled.

"Are you kidding? That boy has a high school crush on you. As soon as he talked to you he was calling Jasper to tell him all about it."

"He is taking this much farther than needed. I am not in the right place for a relationship."

"Says who?"

"Alice, Jacob has been dead a little over a month. I have known Edward just as long."

"Is there a book that tells you the appropriate time to grieve? Let me embellish that, the grieve over a cheating, lying, deceiving-"

"I get it! And if you look, I'm sure there is." I gave her a slight smile.

"You know what I mean! No one can tell you how to grieve or for how long. Only you know how you truly feel. If you need longer, take it. Don't let others dictate your life, you have had enough of that. There is nothing wrong with feeling attracted to my brother in-law, he is a hot piece of ass."

"Alice!"

"What? Don't act like you weren't thinking the same thing. I'm telling you, the Cullen genes are good and strong. Amazing. I wonder if the size is inheritable.."

"Oh my god, you did not just say that." I groaned.

"What?"

"You do realize that means you were thinking about the _size_ of your husbands brother and father then?"

"I'm just putting it out there, you might want to jump on that the next time you feel the need. You will never regret it."

"You are disgusting." She just smiled and lifted on shoulder.

"Why are we best friends?"

"Prude."

"Who's a prude?" Rosalie asked, rushing into the cafe and sitting into an empty chair in one quick swoop.

"Bella."

"You are."

"Alice was discussing both your brothers and fathers-"

"Shh." Rose held a finger up and closed her eyes. "Are you being a dirty whore again?" She asked Alice.

Alice only giggled and took another sip of coffee.

"You let her get a triple shot of espresso, didn't you?"

"It's all my fault." I shook my head.

"I have news." Rose stated, waving for a waiter and giving her order. "I'm knocked up!" She squealed once he left and she had both our attention.

"That is wonderful!"

"Congratulations!"

Rose and Emmett had been married the longest but chose to travel and enjoy one another before having children, I didn't even know they were planning on trying.

"When are you due?" I asked.

"Six more months."

"What?" Alice yelled, clearly pissed.

"We heard it was best to wait till the second trimester before announcing it to the family. Don't be mad, you are the first two to know."

"So Jasper and Edward don't know yet? What about Mom and Dad?" Alice asked.

"Well, I am sure they know now. Emmett is sure to tell them at the office since I told him I was telling you today. We are going to tell Mom and Dad tonight at dinner. You both will come right? Just act surprised."

"Of course!"

"Can the kids come?"

"Bella, the kids are always welcome. You should know by now you don't have to ask."

"We'll be there." I smiled, giving her hand a squeeze. "I'm so happy for you."

I baked a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting, Emmett's favorite, before driving over to the Cullen's house that evening. The kids were excited to see Bastion and were more than willing to leave the house.

"Bella, it's lovely to see you." Carlisle greeted at the door. "Tonight was a surprise, but since Rose prepared dinner we can't complain! It's lovely of her to serve dinner and have all our loved ones under the same room spontaneously."

"I am bless you think of me as part of the family." I smiled softy.

"How are you holding up? I haven't gotten a chance to speak to you alone is quite some time."

"I'm well, truly. I've accepted what was and what is. It's time to move forward."

"You know Esme and myself are here if you need anything."

"Thank you."

He smiled and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, leading me into the crowded dinning room where everyone was seated and talking animatedly.

"Bella!" Emmett cheered, winking knowingly.

Since I knew the secret of the evening, I could see the excitement he had of becoming a father. A child couldn't ask for a better man than Emmett to be their father. Looking around I felt a bit of unease seeing Jessica seated across from me.

"Bella, I'm glad you could make it." She smiled with what looked to be true affection.

I didn't know what to make of her and it left me teetering.

"It's nice to see you also." I managed to spit out despite my inner turmoil.

"I'd like you to meet my fiance, Angela."

Her eyes warmed before turning toward the woman sitting beside her I had failed to notice.

"Fiance?" I couldn't stop myself from blurting.

Jessica gave me a quizzical look but didn't respond to my out burst.

"Angela, this is Bella. The woman Edward asked me to help."

"I've heard a lot about you." Angela greeted, reaching across the table to shake my hand. "I'm glad Jess was able to be of assistance to you, but I can't deny I am ready for her to come back home."

"I appreciate what she did." I mumbled. "Excuse me."

I left the table and passed Alice, Rose, and Esme who were plating dinner onto platters to bring in. Stepping out onto the patio, I took a deep breath of cool air.

"Bella?"

I groaned in frustration, turning to see Edward sitting in one of the lounging chairs.

"Why are you always around?" I snapped.

"It's my parents house, I've been living here for a while." He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Why do I get the feeling I messed up again?"

"You are such an ass!"

He sighed, bringing his hand up to squeeze the bridge of his nose.

"Bella, you are going to have to explain that statement. I thought you accepted my apology for pushing you?"

"I did! I don't forgive you for playing games with me though! Weren't you the one who stated they refused such things, yet you flaunted Jess around under false pretenses!"

"I did what?" His voice lowering as he got to his feet.

He stalked toward me, making me take a step back.

"You made me believe there was something going on between the two of you, all while claiming you wanted a relationship with me. After everything Jacob put me through, you treated me no better." My voice was wavering, unease at his closeness and dark look.

"I did no such thing."

"You can't deny it. You made me think you two had something going on, all they while she was engaged. To a woman no less."

"You need to rethink what you just said." He growled. "When did I ever say there was something between Jessica and I?"

"You didn't need to, your actions spoke for themselves. The way you two interact, it makes it appear to be mutual attraction. I wont even bring up the way you were dancing that night we went out."

"First of all, Jessica is my best friend from college. We are very close, just because we are comfortable with one another and show affection does not mean I was trying to portray a sexual relationship with her. As to the dancing, that was exactly what it was. Dancing."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"You may have put more into it than what it was, but that doesn't mean we did. We have always been like that. I suppose if you don't know us it would seem like something else. I thought you knew anyway, didn't Alice tell you about Jess and Angela?"

"No! No one said a word."

"Shit." He grumbled and turned his back to me. "When I think we may be making progress, our failure to talk to each other openly screws it up."

He turned back around and places his palms on the side of my face.

"I'm sorry for giving you the wrong impression. I assumed Alice had talked of Jess before and that you were aware of her personal life. I never even considered you would think there was something going on between the two of us. I should have made it clear in the beginning regardless of what I thought you knew. That was my own failure."

I remained silent, enjoying the feel of his contact.

"What I don't appreciate though is instead of talking to me about how you were feeling, you just shut me out." His voice losing it's softness. "What I despise is that you just compared me to Jacob. From what you thought I was doing, I can understand that. I am disappointed that you think that little of me though. I would never intentionally mess with someone's feelings, especially after everything you have been through. I have wanted to keep fighting for you, to make sure you knew how I felt. That I care more for you than I have for anyone else in the past. I want to be there for you for whatever you may need. I love your children and want to spend time with the three of you. Now, after all that has been said and what you thought of me; I agree with you. This isn't right. I can not try for something more with someone who thinks I am capable of such things."

"Edward-"

"No, let me finish. You need to realize that not all men are like your deceased husband. I have no ill intentions and would never deliberately hurt you. Until you can truly believe that and try to see me for who I really am, I need to take a step back. A very large step. Regardless for how I feel about you, this wont work till you are willing to _see_ me. Till you are ready to open your heart and let go of your anger, allow yourself to feel worthy of being loved and falling in love again. I can't fight with the past, with a ghost."

If he only knew.

"Edward, I don't want to fight with you any longer."

"I don't want it either. This is why I am going to go back into the house and eat dinner with my family. I will be your friend if you need me to be. For not just you, but myself, I am your attorney and possible friend. I will not seek you out, I wont kiss you no matter how much I want to. You are hurting, your heart is broken, with your words you have chipped away at my own."

"I didn't-"

"I am going to interrupt you once more. You didn't do it intentionally, I know this. I have tried to be there for you, show you I am a good man. You have refused to see it and I can't continue to try and defend myself of things I haven't even done. I have to have enough self respect for you to want me as much as I want you or otherwise walk away. Right now, I am walking away."

His eyes were full of pain, his lips painted in a slight pout of a frown. He gave me a small, sad smile and did just as he said he would. He walked back into the house without a backward glance.

"Bella?"

"Alice, I messed up." I whimpered, frozen in the stop Edward left me in.

My cheeks burned from where his skin had met mine.

"What did my brother do now?" Rose appeared with a playful smile which diminished when she say my face. "Bella, Honey, what's wrong?"

"I've been so stupid. I accused Edward of things that just weren't true. I assumed the worst without talking to anyone of how I was feeling or what I was thinking. Now I've pushed him away for good." Tears sliding down my cheek.

"I thought you didn't want a relationship?" Rose asked quietly, sitting in Edward's vacant chair and pulling me into the one next to it.

"Alice, you were right. There are no guidelines to follow for grieving. I've felt guilty for the feelings I have toward Edward, I kept denying them. He was so kind, willing to give me time."

"That doesn't explain what just happened?" Alice stated with a quizzical look.

"I thought he was messing with my head. That he was either using Jessica to make me jealous or actually cared for her and was just amusing himself with me. I confronted him with it tonight."

"Bella, why didn't you talk to me? I could have told you they are overly affectionate but there is absolutely no interest for either party. Edward was the first person Jessica came out to, it has created a bond between the two of them. He was her life line for a long time before Angela came into the picture. I would have told you, I assumed Edward had."

"No, and he thought you had told me so he didn't think to either." I sniffled.

"Bella, don't give up. My brother is nothing if not persistent when he wants something. A bit spoiled acting even."

"He's angry with me."

"Edward takes it personally when you attack his character. He was badly burned in a relationship when he first attended college. He is a loving person, he gives people his all when he cares. The girl he was dating was just playing with him, enjoying his money. There is nothing he detested more than falseness. He will have a bit of a pity party that you thought so ill of his character, but he'll get over it. The way he speaks about you, I have no doubts he still cares for you deeply."

"That doesn't mean he will be willing to give me another chance. I am not ready to just jump into something serious, but I would like to see where it could go. Allow something to grow."

"Tell him that. He is a man, you have to tell them what you want. He can't read your mind. You have pulled him in and pushed him away enough he is probably feeling unsure of himself and what could happen between the two of you."

"You also need to stand up for yourself more. If you really thought Jess and Edward had something going on, why didn't you confront him right away? You were willing to play victim again just as you did for Jacob. You have started to grow a back bone, keep it straight! Say how you feel, tell what you want."

"You're right, it was all to easy to allow myself to fall back into old habits. Instead of hurting myself, I hurt Edward also."

"First thing first, start your life. Get rid of that obscene house Jacob bought you, find a job, and make sure you can provide for yourself and the kids without the help of anyone else. You will be amazed at how much self confidence you will gain."

"Edward bought my house!" I exclaimed, once more annoyed at losing my dream home. "The house I was going to rent? Edward bought it."

"He what?" Alice screeched.

"Well, not on purpose. He didn't know I was looking at it. He even offered for the kids and I to move in with him."

They both stared at me opened mouthed.

"I'm not, don't worry. I don't think that offer even stands anymore anyway.

"Bella, do you remember that old house that was falling apart on the edge of my parents property?"

"The old farm house? Didn't the barn cave in last year?"

"The same. After the barn fell, my parents were worried about someone getting hurt if the house did the same. They flipped the entire property. The house isn't large, two story with only two bedrooms. They added a fence to create a little back yard. My father was talking about renting it out but hadn't decided if he wanted to or not."

"Rose, I can't ask your parents for the house."

"Look, if he is serious about renting it out why not ask? They would feel more comfortable doing so if they new the person who would be living on their property."

"I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask. Now let's serve dinner before my husband eats the table cloth."

"And tell Mom and Dad about the baby!" Alice squealed.


	13. Better in Time

"Tanya should be having the baby soon."

"I will be having to take away from our children for hers." I stated dully, refusing to lift my eyes up from the book I was reading. "Where have you been anyway? It's been two weeks."

"I have no idea how much time passes. It's as if I blink and I am in a different part of the house."

"The last time I saw you Embry was here."

"Has he been back?" Jacob's voice raised, the lights flickering once.

"No, is something going to happen? Is that why you are back now?"

"Bella, this is new for me too. Where's the boy toy?"

"Who" Playing dumb.

"Edwin."

"Edward." I growled slightly.

"Touchy." Jake smirked when I finally lifted my face to glare at him.

"We haven't spoken in a while."

"Trouble in paradise already, huh? What, he couldn't live up to my memory?"

"Jacob, you left _everything_ to be desired."

"Ouch." He winced.

"What do you want?"

"Down to business." He sighed and sat at the edge of the bed. "Look, you have no reason to believe me, but I don't think the baby is mine. After the first couple of times I slept with Tanya-"

I interrupted him with a rough scoff, tears stinging my eyes unwillingly. They seemed to be more of a reflex rather than pain over his betrayal.

"Anyway," He muttered. "Embry started asking questions. It was like he knew what Tanya and I were doing but I hadn't told anyone due to fear of you finding out. She denied having ever spoke to him. Then there were the little questions she would slip in. I didn't think of it at the time but now I realize she was just cataloging away snippets of information to create a full picture of what she wanted to know. Things like how much this or that cost, if I paid for it in full. Asking how Lawyers earned raises and how many I had gotten. Looking back on it she never asked what would be accepted as normal questions from the other woman. Things like how long we were married, how many kids and their ages. Tanya seemed to just know those things. Shortly before the accident she was pressuring me into divorcing you. She wanted us to marry before the baby was born. I can't tell you how many fights we got into because I refused to leave you. She even gave me a revised will to sign. We got into a fight over how she had even gotten a copy of the original. We were fighting when the accident happened, because I wouldn't agree to give her half of everything."

"What are you saying?"

I was speechless. So many things were running through my head with the information he was spewing.

"I can't rightly say." His eyes wide, palms aiming for the heavens. "I promise you Bella, I didn't agree to give her a dime. I didn't do right by you, I know, but I would never take from you."

"But you did, Jake! You took everything. My trust, my love, you broke my heart. I don't think there is anything that will piece it back together."

"I did, I treated you so badly. You have to let yourself love again, though. You have so much to give a man, I didn't appreciate you. You love with your whole heart, you trust at face value. Don't break because of me. Stand your ground, remember what you believe in!"

He knelt on the floor before me, holding onto my hands tightly. Tears filled his eyes as he pleaded with me.

"I hate seeing you with another man, watching helplessly as he watches you. His eyes full of longing. It's a blow to my gut to hear EJ say he doesn't think I loved him, to see Edward laugh and genuinely want to be with my children. The truth of the matter is though, I can't do those things. I can't play with the kids or tell them I love them. I can't touch you the way that a man should."

"Stop it, Jacob."

"Listen! If Edward makes you happy, don't let my mistakes, our past, deter anything you and he may form. It's getting harder and harder for me to find you, I don't know how much longer I will be able to come to you like this."

"You have to stay, I'm not ready!"

My vice was shrilled, surprising even myself over how much I truly still needed him, wanted him. I may have just realized it, but I wasn't ready to let Jacob Black go, regardless of what he did.

Sobs racked my body till I could no longer hold myself up, falling onto the bed on my side and curling into a ball. I barely noticed Jacob curling his own body around mine, his arms clinging to me.

* * *

"EJ, put that back!" I said absentmindedly while reading my list for what held like the tenth time in the same amount of minutes.

"Mamma!"

"If it isn't written down, we aren't getting it." I responded to the tug I felt on my skirt.

"But, Mamma!"

"What _is it_ , EJ?" I asked with exasperation, finally looking down at my impatient son.

"It's Edward!" He squeaked with a dimpled grin, pointing to the front of my cart.

If I had moved forward another inch I would have ran him over. Edward was standing there smiling brightly.

"Edward!" Maddie giggled from the front of the cart, lifting her arms in the air for him to pick her up.

He appeased her by walking over to lean in and give her a hug instead of taking her out of the cart.

"Out!" Maddie pouted when he straightened without her being lifted.

"Maddie, I'm sure Edward has his own shopping to do." I scolded gently, running my hand through her curls.

"How have you been, Bella?" He asked with a soft voice.

"Better." I admitted truthfully.

Ever since I had last seen Jacob, I had felt a little stronger with each new day.

"There is a couple coming to look at the house next week." I gave him after he stared at me in silence, waiting to be sure I spoke honestly.

"That's great news. Have you found a place of your own then?"

"You parents have offered the house they renovated for our use."

"Mom showed me the changes when I came home, it's a nice place."

"I'm still undecided."

The air around us felt uneasy, neither of us really knowing what to say or do.

"Edward, Mom is making pork chops for dinner! Will you eat with us?"

"My favorite!" Maddie chirped up.

"Yup, Maddie sure does love pork chops. Mom said she would make me rice and Maddie and me both like broccoli with cheese so we are having that too." EJ rambled on. "I don't know what we are having for dessert. Mamma, what are we having for dessert? Can we make brownies?"

"Slow down, Bud." Edward chuckled, ruffling his hair.

"EJ, we talked about inviting people over without asking first."

"Can Edward have dinner with us?" He immediately asked.

"EJ..." I sighed.

"You don't want him to eat at our house?"

My eyes widened as I stared at my son with a gaping mouth, positive I resembled a fish.

"Bella, I understand." Edward gave a weary smirk. "I'll see you later EJ and Maddie."

He turned around and began walking away from us. EJ and Maddie just stared at me silently with sad expressions.

"Damn it." I muttered under my breath.

"Edward!" I called out, jogging toward him. "Wait up!"

He stopped and gave me a quizzical look.

"Would you like to have dinner with us?"

"You don't have to do this." He whispered, looking to make sure the kids weren't within hearing distance.

"I know I don't. I would really like it if you would join us. The kids miss you."

"What about you? Do you miss me?" He once more whispered.

It was then I realized the close proximity of our bodies. We were only separated by mere inches, as if we were involuntarily drawn toward one another.

"Do you miss me, Bella?" He asked once again, his brows drawn together as he studied my face.

"I'm sorry, for before."

"Me too."

"Will you come?"

He quirked an eyebrow at me, waiting for his unanswered question to be responded to.

"Yes, I've missed you." I gave, unable to hold back an embarrassed smile.

He grinned widely, looked behind him, and bent to give my cheek a kiss.

"See you at five?" He asked.

"Five." I confirmed, unable to move my feet as I watched him walk away.

* * *

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Go away, Jacob." I muttered, flinging random clothes out of my closet.

"I've never seen that on you before."

"Because it's new."

"Why are you buying new lingerie?"

"Why are you being a creeper?" I countered.

I found a dark blue day dress that wouldn't be neither casual nor too dressy.

Jacob followed me around the room as I slid on a pair of wedged sandals and clipped half my hair back.

"You look nice."

"Thank you."

He followed me as I checked on the kids, making sure EJ had kept his pants on and wasn't sitting in his underwear as was his new habit. If Maddie saw him, she made no mention of it other than a gaze that lasted a moment longer than would be considered normal.

"Go _away._ " I hissed once more when we appeared in the kitchen before me.

I bent to check the chops that were inside of oven just as there was a knock at the door.

"Edwin's here." Jacob scowled with a slight pout.

I glared as I walked past, picking up my pace and opening the door quickly.

"Right on time." I grinned.

He stood there wearing dark dress pants and a blue button up with the sleeves rolled up.

He grinned, handing out a bouquet of wild flowers.

"Edward!" The kids came running and pushing past me.

"This is for you." Edward said as he squatted and handed Maddie a smaller bouquet.

"Oh, Mamma!" She sighed, turning to show me.

Her eyes batted at Edward and she skipped away from us.

"She is going to be a heart breaker." Edward laughed

"She will be something." I sighed with a smile.

Edward and EJ set the table while I finished dinner and Maddie talked their ears off.

Jacob refused to leave but watched with dark eyes as Edward interacted with the kids. The laughter coming from my children made me feel guilty for keeping Edward away from them for so long. Once dinner was finished Edward stood beside me at the sink, loading the dishes into the dishwasher after I had rinsed, eyeing me with warm eyes and a gentle smile.

"This is nice." He said.

His hands were keeping the bowl of batter the kids were mixing steady.

"It is." I admitted, laughing when Edward tapped a bit of the chocolate brownie mix on Maddie's nose.

Before long the kids were settled in the living room watching a movie, leaving Edward and I to sit at the table with cups of coffee.

"Thank you for inviting me. I've really enjoyed myself."

"I'm glad we ran into you. I didn't realize how big of a hole your absence made till you filled it once more."

"I'd like to come around more. If not for you, at least for the kids."

I felt a bit discouraged. Was he saying he wanted to be around only for the kids sake? Was it truly to late for us?

"They would love to see you more."

"Do you need any help packing?"

Jacob huffed and began pacing upon the subject of the upcoming move. He was still displeased about the kids and I leaving the home he picked out for us.

"Edward, I would like you to come around for me also." I mumbled, looking down at my hands.

I was afraid to see the rejection on his face.

"Look at me." His hand under my chin and gently lifting my face.

"Do you really want me around? For you?" He questioned.

I was unable to speak, nodding instead, my eyes unwilling to look away form his.

Our faces drew closer, I could feel the heat of his lips before they touched mine. My eyes closed as he brushed his across mine with the barest of touches.

"Are you truly ready this time?" He asked, brushing our lips once more.

"Please, kiss me." I begged.

Finally, his lips pressed against mine with more pressure, pulling away and causing me to whimper.

"Tell me."

"I'm ready." I blurted quickly, eager for his kiss.

I could feel his smile when he returned his lips to mine.

Just as he began to kiss me, a phone rang.

"Damn it." He hissed, pulling back from and taking his phone out of his pocket.

"Cullen." He growled, his eyes never leaving mine.

I saw his face change from annoyance to shock, to slight anger.

"What is it?" I asked once he ended the call without saying another word.

"Tanya gave birth this morning."

* * *

 _I want to apologize for not having an update last week and this one not really making up for it. I was sick for a week and ended up being admitted to the hospital for out patient surgery on my throat because the doctors didn't diagnose me right the first THREE times. Still recovering though MUCH better than I was. I promise to try to write this week and post an extra chapter or a few shorter ones. Thank you for sticking with me and being patient! Come say hello on Facebook :)_


	14. Stronger

"Seriously, I can't believe they waited this long before preforming the DNA test." Rosalie shook her head.

"It took a month to get a scheduled court date. Now that it's completed it could take anywhere from two days to two weeks. It depends on how backed up the lab is. I have heard horror stories of waiting for over a month for the results even!" I grimaced.

I was extremely blessed to have Jasper and Edward working on my side in this mess Jacob left for me to deal with. Speaking of Jacob, I slipped my hand behind my back and gave him the finger from where he was watching Rose, Alice and I. I heard his deep chuckle, looking at my friends to see if they had heard it also.

Rosalie seemed oblivious that my deceased husband was present and watching us with total stalker status. Alice on the other hand kept glancing behind me but didn't seem to focus on anything in-particular. The house sold for after asking price after a bidding war started between two prospective buyers. One was an older gentleman who was moving back to his home town after forty years and wanted to social status my house would give. The other was apparently his ex-wife's _new_ husband. The new husband won and the ex was moving into the house two houses down. Enough said. Obviously I wasn't the only one having to handle fucked up family matters, perhaps I wouldn't be the center of the town gossip anymore.

I snickered at that thought.

"You are such an asshole, Jake." I muttered while shaking my head without thinking.

I grimaced slightly and chanced a look at my friends. Rosalie had a look of concern, her eyes wide in shock I assumed. Alice just stared even harder behind me.

"Did you say something, Bella?" She had obviously heard me but was gauging my response.

"Just talking to myself."

"Well, I for one agree with you. Jacob was a complete jerk!" Alice stated heatedly, picking up her cup of tea.

"Have you decided if you and Emmett are going to find out the sex of the baby at you next appointment?" I asked Rose, changing the subject.

"We are going to keep it a surprise." She smiled widely, rubbing her barely there stomach with her hand.

"I can't believe you are still so tiny. When I was five months with EJ I looked like I was ready to pop." I grumbled.

Picking up the plate of cookies I held it out for her to choose one, grinning wickedly.

"Don't try to fatten me up just to make yourself feel better, Swan." Rosalie stuck her tongue out, still choosing a jumbo sized chocolate chip cookie Esme had made for her to bring to my house.

"Holy cow, my mother can bake." Rose moaned and rolled her eyes after biting into the cookie.

"I will have to thank her when we go up for dinner tonight."

"You're happy you accepted their offer?" Alice asked.

"I was hesitant at first, not wanting to take advantage of your parents generosity, but we have been happy so far. The first week was a challenge for the kids. They have only ever had one home so leaving a place they were comfortable and knew into a strange house was a bit difficult for them to adjust to. Once their furniture arrived, I made sure to get their rooms set up first. After that they seemed to settle here better."

The kids and I were just finished our second week living in Carlisle and Esme's farm house. They had done such a beautiful job with the renovations. It was the traditional smaller house, three bedrooms upstairs; eat in kitchen, living room, and a little nook of a room downstairs. It boasted original doors and woodwork throughout the house which only added to its charm. It wasn't the same as the house Edward bought out from under me, but it was beautiful just the same.

Okay, maybe he didn't steal it since he hadn't known I wanted it, but just the same. Now that we are on the subject of Edward, I have seen him around a dozen times this past month since we made up. If that's what you call it anyway. Unfortunately most of those times were with other people around. At least half were with both Edward and Jasper discussing the legalities. A quarter of the time with his parents around as he helped me move into the house, and the other half the kids were underfoot. He hadn't tried to find time alone with me, nor seem bothered we always had people around us. He also hasn't tried to kiss me and I have only received a hug or kiss on the cheek when he took his leave. We haven't spoken about what we were doing, what the other expects to happen. If we were going to try a relationship, friends with benefits, or stay strictly platonic.

"I have to get going, Emmett and I are shopping for baby furniture when he gets out of work."

"You aren't going to wait for a baby shower?"

"No, Emmett and I agreed to buy the big things. If people want to give us gifts they are more than welcome, but we don't want anyone feeling obligated. I know Emmett's mother would feel awkward if we had a baby shower and all of our family gave us expensive presents while she was only able to give us something small or homemade. Even if I told her the homemade things were loved more than anything bought, she would feel as if she wasn't doing enough for us."

Emmett had grown up in a single parent home. His father was deployed during his mothers pregnancy and ended up being killed before he was able to come home and meet his son. His mother worked two part time jobs so that she could be home with Emmett when he needed her and make ends meet, if just barely. Emmett didn't grow up with luxuries, instead wearing second hand clothes and riding his bike or the bus to get where he needed to be. He worked his ass off in school to receive every scholarship offered to him. Once we started working and making money his mother refused any kind of help Emmett offered. She still lived in the same small house he grew up in, paying a mortgage that was expensive for her even if it was barely a car payment for most. She wouldn't allow him to buy her a car and used the bus to this day. Nothing bothered Emmett more than living in an expensive house and owning two high end cars while his mother lived in a house that something was always breaking in and relying on public transit. He wasn't being snobbish, he just wanted his mother to enjoy what he was now able to. He even tried to get her to move in with him and Rosalie after they married, she refused saying she didn't want to be a burden or interrupt their newly wedded life. I had only met her once, you could see the years of hard work sketched into her face, but her eyes held nothing but warmth. She never had a negative thing to say. I respected Rose's choice to not register for a baby shower and to buy what they wanted themselves.

"You are a amazing." I said softly.

She gave me a gentle smile and bid us goodbye.

"He's here, isn't he?" Alice asked as soon as the front door was closed behind Rosalie.

"By the microwave."

She looked at the little movable island that the microwave sat on top of, squinting her eyes as if it would help her see him. Jacob narrowed his eyes and smirked wickedly, lifting his hand slowly and pressing a button on the microwave. The door popped open with a ping.

"Holy shit!" Alice screamed while jumping up from her chair and hiding behind mine.

I suppressed the giggle I felt bubbling up over her peaking her head over my shoulder and staring intently at the offending object.

"That was him?"

"Yes, you should know he's quite enjoying himself right now."

Jacob threw his head back and laughed.

"Did you hear that?" Alice lowered her voice to a whisper, her hands trembling slightly were they sat on my shoulders.

"You can hear him?" I asked in shock, turning slightly to get a better look at her. "Jake, say something!" I pleaded.

" _My name is Alice,_

 _and I live in a palace,_

 _And every afternoon at three,_

 _a footman serves me tea.."_

Jacob skipped around foolishly as he sang.

"I heard him! I still can't see him, but there is something there. I see a blur moving around, as if you were wearing glasses with a smudge on them.

" _Alice the camel has no humps,_

 _Alice the camel has no humps,_

 _Cause Alice is a horse!"_

Jacob continued, now standing directly in front of us.

"I was quite offended when you taught Maddie that particular rhyme I'll have you know." She scowled deeply.

"Alice..." Jacob dragged out while bending so that his face was inches from hers.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Alice screamed with her face still beside mine.

"Shit, Alice. My ear drum." I winced.

"Oh my god, oh my god. He's here! I mean I believed you, honest, but he's _here_!"

"Trust me, I know. The creeper watches me shower almost daily." I grumbled while sending Jacob a glare.

"I can't help it if my wife is sexy as hell." He winked.

"You!" Alice growled. "You low life, piece of shit! If you weren't already dead I would kill you myself!" She sounded like a lioness protecting her cubs.

Before I could even blink she launched herself at him, beating her fists wherever they might fall on his body. Jacob just gave me a incredulous look.

"Will you call of the mosquito?"

"Oh dare you!" She screeched, flinging her small fists even faster.

"This is quickly becoming boring." Jacob muttered with an eye roll.

"Do you have any idea what you have done to her? The pain you caused?"

"I get it!" Jacob bellowed, the lights flickering.

"Wait, she sold the house. How are you here? We thought you would be stuck there, how were you able to leave?"

"I have no idea how any of this works. My guess is I'm connected to Bella, not the house or any other object. Maybe it's the kids.. Maddie talks to me, though not as much as before."

"Oh, Maddie." Alice sucked in a shuttering breath. "How can you possibly think it's okay to haunt that poor baby?"

"Do you really thing I want this?" Jacob hissed at her. "Do be damned here on earth and watch my family move on without me?"

"You deserve nothing less." She sneered.

"I forgot how much you two liked one another." I spat out. "If we can quit the dramatics, that would be great."

"I'm sorry Bella, but-"

"I understand, really I do." I interrupted her. "I have had said my peace with him, have accepted it's time to let it go as best I can and move forward. "I don't know how much longer he has here with me, so I have decided to use the time to listen to him, try and understand what happened and what I should be expecting. I suppose I can't do that though till after we hear the result of the paternity test."

"Are you able to see Tanya?" Alice suddenly asked.

Why have I never thought to ask him that?

"Fortunately not. I am here solely for Bella."

"What a shame you can't haunt her ass." Alice mumbled.

"Alice, I know this is new for you but the kids are going to be home soon. The bus will be here in a few minutes and I need to go meet them at the end of your parents drive."

"Till next time Black." Alice said with a cold look.

"Always a pleasure." Jacob rolled his eyes and vanished from sight.

"Now that is creepy." Alice stated with wide eyes.

"Boo."

She screamed whipping around to find Jacob right behind her. She went to attack him again only to have him vanish once more, leaving behind the slight sound of laughter.

"I don't know how you stayed married to that man, hell, why you married him to begin with!"

I shook my head and had her follow me out of the house.

"Are you coming to dinner tonight? Esme asked if the kids and I would like to join them."

"No, Jasper hasn't said anything about dinner with his parents. We are taking Bastion to his first movie tonight."

"Good luck, it's pure torture to take mine. Neither one will sit still longer than ten minutes and it's always unsynchronized timing."

We walked the graveled path that led through the woods and cleared out to reveal Esme and Carlisle's house.

"I'll see you soon, call if you need anything." She gave me a hug once we reached her parked car that sat in her in-laws drive.

"I'm sure I will hear from you tonight so that we can discuss what happened in further depth." Giving her a knowing look.

"Probably." She giggled.

Just as her car disappeared from sight I heard the bus coming to a stop and jogged to the end of the drive.

"Mamma!" They both came running off the bus and into my waiting arms.

"Hello my loves." giving them both kisses.

Maddie only went for half days, I drove her after she ate lunch and she rode the bus home with EJ in the afternoon. She felt like such a big kid being able to ride the bus with her brother. EJ thought it was pretty cool also since Jacob forbade him from riding the bus at the beginning of the year. Apparently it wasn't good enough for his son.

"Can we go see Meme now?" EJ pleaded, Maddie jumping on the heels of her feet in agreement.

"Well..." I pretended to contemplate his request, taping a finger to my chin.

"Mom!" He complained.

"Alright, let's go." I laughed, watching them run off ahead of me. "Knock this time Madelyn Josephine and Jacob Eli!" I called after them.

I stepped into a slow job, noticing that they had just barged into the house once again.

"What did I say you guys?" I said stepping through the doorway.

"Did they escape?" A familiar low voice asked.

"Edward!" I gasped, spinning to the side to see Edward leaning against the wall in the hall across from me.

His lips in the all to familiar smirk, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Surprise." He sang, now grinning.

"I didn't know you were coming to diner."

"I'm not."

"Oh." I frowned.

"Neither are you."

"What?" Thoroughly confused now.

"The first night we spoke, we were interrupted. Since then things have been solely focused on making sure we did what we needed to get you through the difficult ordeal of Tanya and the baby."

"I understand." I said quietly, looking down at my hands which were fidgiting with the hem of my shirt.

"Bella, will you look at me?" He was suddenly standing before me, his hand lightly lifting my chin.

I bid his request, feeling slightly off balanced over the intensity of his gaze.

"Would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight?"

"But-"

"I already asked my mother if she would mind watching the kids."

"You two planned this?"

"We did." A smile playing on his lips.

"Alright, I will have dinner with you, Edward."

My response earned me a bigger smile.

"Go home and get ready. I will come by in an hour."

* * *

I ran home after he said that, realizing I hadn't shaved in a week. Nicking myself multiple times as I hurried the razor over my skin, banging my knee on the side of the tub as I hopped out, and throwing half my wardrobe around my room, I was finally applying the last of my makeup and ready for Edward to arrive.

"So this is it, then?"

"Jake." I said sadly.

"Don't do that. You deserve this, truly you do. That doesn't mean it makes it easy to watch."

"Thank you."

"I'm going to go now, I don't think I can be here when he arrives." His voice choking up. "You know, no matter what I did to say otherwise, I love you."

"I love you too. Your gone now though, and you did some horrible things. I need a chance at happiness, to move on with my life."

"I know."

With that he was gone, I couldn't feel him around me any longer.

There was a knock at the door announcing Edward had arrived. I rushed down the stairs, smoothing out my skirt before opening the door.

I watched as he took me in, from my feet, working his gaze slowly over my body till his eyes met mine.

"You are breath taking." He breathed out.

I had chosen a navy dress that resembled a long button up dress shirt and nude heels, along with a gold accent belt. My hair was curled and pinned back so it would stay out of my face.

"Thank you."

He had what looked to be a weeks worth of stubble on his face, his hair appeared to have been trimmed but still long enough the top was it's usually mess of red and brown strands.

"Are you ready?" He asked after clearing his throat.

I nodded shyly, allowing him to place his hand on my lower back and lead me to his car. He opened the door for me, closing it once I was situated and ran around the front of the car to his side. As we pulled away I looked back and saw Jacob's face watching sadly through the parted curtains of the front door's window pane.

"Where are we going?" I asked once we had been driving in silence for a few minutes.

"I should have asked." He frowned. "Sorry, I haven't dated in a while. Would you like to go to dinner?"

"I'd love to have dinner with you." I laughed lightly.

"Great, I already made the reservations." He admitted, making laugh a little louder. "I'm really glad you agreed to come."

"Well, I'm glad you asked me. I was beginning to wonder if you ever would."

"I'm sorry." He winced. "I was trying to be respectful and not pressure you into anything. I swear my hands twitched to touch you every time we met to talk about the court case or we had dinner at my parents together. I have wanted nothing more than to hold your hand, wrap my arms around you. I know hearing that Tanya had her baby was going to be hard for you, I didn't want to put anything else on your plate."

We arrived much faster than we should have, making me wonder if Edward had payed any attention to the sped he was going. He pulled up and a valet came running to assist me out of the car while Edward gave the boy a little speech of being careful.

"Honestly." I scoffed.

"I really like my car." He scowled playfully.

I replayed his words from early and without saying a word, grabbed a hold of his hand, intertwining our fingers. He looked down at our joined hands in shock before gifting me with a gentle smile, his eyes telling me what he didn't say. I had bestowed him a gift, connecting our bodies in the most innocent of ways. His thumb brushed the back of my hand as we were led to a table in the back of the restaurant. Once seated he immediately ordered a bottle of wine and for my water glass to be filled.

I looked over the menu, not sure which item I wanted most. There were too many things that appealed to me, it didn't help I was starving.

"What would you like?" Edward asked.

"Would you order for me?"

His eyebrows raised over my request.

"Is that what you really want?"

"There are too many selections and I am indecisive!"

Edward chuckled and nodded his head in agreement.

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress asked after filling our wine glasses.

"We will start with oysters on the half shell. I will have the beef filet with wild mushrooms and asparagus, my beautiful companion would like to try the roasted salmon with chive butter and risotto please. Is that alright?" His last question directed toward me.

"Perfect." I smiled.

"I thought we could share, that way you can see which you like best." He admitted once we were left alone once more.

"Both sound delicious. The whole menu did to be honest! I have to admit, I have never cared for raw oysters."

Just as I spoke the said oysters were placed before us.

"Then you haven't been eating them right." He said in a low voice.

He got up and moved his chair so that it was right beside me instead of across the table. He spooned a little of the Mignonette sauce on an oyster and picked it up.

"Tilt your head back." He whispered into my ear.

I didn't even hesitate.

"Open your mouth, my sweet Bella."

I opened my mouth just as his lips brushed across the sensitive skin on my neck. Sliding them from my jaw downward he raised the shell so that the oyster slid into my mouth and down my throat. I swallowed without the normal gag reflex happening when I tried other times.

"Did you enjoy it?" He whispered again.

I turned my face toward him, our lips only separated y an inch.

"Edward." I sighed, mu skin still tingling from his attention.

"Not yet, Sweetheart." He breathed out.

He cleared his throat and moved his chair back where it belonged. I ate only two more oysters, nothing compared to how Edward fed the first one to me. He fed me pieces of steak and asparagus from his fork and I him the fish and risotto. Between the two of us we cleared our plates and had a bowl of sorbet for dessert.

The drive home felt more tense. His breathing sounding a bit choppy, his hand resting on my thigh, his thumb brushing against the sensitive skin. My heart raced with anticipation. I wasn't ready for the night to end.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" He asked once parked in the driveway.

"I did, thank you for dinner."

I glanced at the dash, the clock told me it was still early enough the kids would be fine at Esme and Carlisle's a bit longer.

"Would you like to come in, maybe for a cup of coffee?" I rushed out before I lost my nerve.

I felt my cheeks sting, wondering if he would accept my offer or not.

"I'd love a cup of coffee." He smiled.

We entered the house, and nether of us made any pretenses. The arm that had been laid casually around my waist tightened and twirled me around to crush me to his chest, my arms lifting to wrap around his neck.

"God, Bella." He groaned before our lips met halfway with a bruising collision.

I moaned at the sting it gave my lips as they pressed against him in a demanding kiss, my teeth biting into the tender flesh behind my lips. He placed a hand on the back of my head, the other landed on my ass with a stinging slap and gripped it firmly as he ground against me.

"I've wanted to do this for so long." His voice muffled as he spoke, refusing to leave me lips long enough to speak.

"You taste so good." I sighed, swiping my tongue across his bottom lip.

My back slammed against a wall, his hands lifting my by my ass so that I could wrap my legs around his waist. We ground against each other, trying to put out the flame that consumed the both of us. He nibbled on my ear lobe before kissing and nipping his way down my beck, neither of us noticed when I slammed my head back against the wall.

We would realize later that it took the fifth hit for us to hear them.

The sound of shattering glass pulled us away, each of us looking toward the front door that had been left open.

"Stay here." Edward growled, setting me to my feet and adjusting himself as he stalked out of the house.

I dug my phone out of my purse, ready to dial the police.

"Bella, lock the door!" I heard Edward yell.

"What's going on?" I called out, going to the door to do his bidding.

Before I shut the door I glanced out to see what was happening and couldn't hold back the gasp of shock.

Edwards car had been vandalized. His front and back windshield were shattered, an object had been used to scrape into the paint as if someone walked around it in a repeated circle. The tires slashed, headlights broken.

"How did this happen? We've only been home for five minutes!" I cried out, tears of fear filling my eyes. "Who knows I live here besides your family?"

My breathing became erratic, fear gripping my chest tightly.

"Shh, I've got you. I wont allow anything to happen to you."

Edwards arms suddenly enveloped me, creating a cocoon of safety and warmth.

"I've got you." He repeated.

Both of us stared at his damaged car, me in fear, and his with rage, while we waited for the police to arrive. Edward didn't budge but I heard the roar, the slight shake of the house that made the windows shake.

Jacob was back.


	15. Shameless

"You two didn't hear anything?" My father asked for the third time in the last ten minutes.

"No Dad, we have already stated as such." Doing my best not to snap at him.

"I'm sorry." He lifted his hands up in surrender. "I just can't figure out how someone did this much damage without either one of you noticing. The car wasn't parked that far from the house, surely _something_ must have sounded off."

I looked at Edward, my cheeks turning a deep shade of red. He was looking anywhere but at my father, his hands fidgeting inside of his pant pockets, rolling back and forth on his heels. I swear if he didn't think it would be suspicious, he would be whistling. I couldn't exactly explain to my father that Edward and I were too consumed making out and feeling each other up to be bothered with what was happening around us.  
Jacob was pacing furiously behind my father, grumbling under his breath. I did my best not to watch him when all I wanted to do was roll my eyes and tell him he wasn't helping.

"It was Embry for the hundredth fucking time!" He growled.

I had to stand there and pretend I hadn't heard, biting my tongue so I wouldn't scream at him. What did he expect me to do?

 _Oh, by the way Dad. My dead husband informed me his cousin was the one to cause the damage. Yeah, I forgot to tell you the stalking asshole came back to haunt me and wont leave me alone._

That would go over wonderfully. I'd either be sent to a psych ward or he would think it was the way I was coping. Edward would run the other, screaming the entire way.

"Excuse me." Edward said quietly when his phone rang.

I cringed as he walked away from us and straight in Jacob's path. Edward couldn't see him, and Jacob was too busy talking to himself to notice. I was shocked to see neither of them falter as Edward walked right through him. It must have showed on my face because my father spoke up, assuming it was because of the vandalism.

"It'll be okay, Bells. You and the kids can come stay with me till we figure out who is responsible."

"Dad, you have a two bedroom house."

"Nothing we can't work out. Maddie are young enough to share a bedroom and you can take mine, I'll sleep on the couch."

"I'm sure I will be safe staying here."

"You have Maddie and EJ to think of. Are you willing to risk their safety?"

"Dad-"

"Bella!" Edward yelled, turning around to face me from the other side of the room.

"Whats wrong?" I rushed over to him, looking up at him worriedly.

"It's not Jacobs! The baby isn't Jacobs!" A huge grin formed on his face. "You don't have to give her shit!" He laughed out.

"That's not very professional of you." I frowned.

"Are you listening? Tanya's baby doesn't belong to Jacob. She wont be able to come after anything that was left for you and the kids. You no longer have to worry about losing what little he was able to leave for you."

"If it wasn't Jacob's, who's was it?"

I felt so confused. Regardless of what Jacob said, I secretly couldn't stop the idea of the baby being his. I didn't think the probability of it not actually being his even a remote possibility. He lied to me and cheated on me while he was alive. Just because he was dead didn't mean he would all of a sudden have a change of heart and was going to be completely honest with me, regardless of what he said and how he apologized. Hell for all I know, maybe I was imagining him for a way of coping.

No, Alice saw him too. I should call her.

"We don't know." He frowned. "We can only be given what the results were from comparing the DNA from EJ with the baby."

"What was the percentage?"

"Three percent. If the baby was EJ's half bother, it would have been twenty five percent."

"So there is no chance?"

"No, the baby is not his."

"But if there was three percent, doesn't that mean they are related somehow?"

"No one can say for sure and I don't have the authority to request another test for someone else. Our only legal course of action for a DNA test was to prove if Jacob was or was not the father for financial reasons. Now that it was proved not to be his, Tanya has no legal claim to anything. She can't try to bring you to court for anything he left behind."

"Edward, Bella." My father spoke up.

I hadn't even noticed that he was beside us, listening to our conversation.

"We are done here. Bella, lets go get the kids and I will drive you over to my place."

"Dad, I told you I am not going to stay with you. I appreciate the offer and you wanting to protect us, but I can't uproot them again. I just took them away from the house they grew up in, they are finally comfortable here."

"I'll stay." Edward blurted out, looking just as shocked as I was by his declaration.

"What?"

"Uh, I mean, if you want me to." He stuttered. "I could stay. That way you wont be alone if whoever damaged my car comes back."

"There's no room, it's only a three bedroom house." I argued.

"Bells, I don't want you left alone. I'm putting my foot down on this matter. You either come stay with me for a while or have someone stay here with you."

"You can't tell me what to do anymore." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Think about it, do you really want to be alone if someone comes back? What if they came into the house and found the kids while you all slept?"

The thought of someone being in the house, let alone touching one of my children terrified me. It was what changed my mind.

"Are you sure? I don't have an extra room for you to use and we don't know how long it's going to take to figure out who did this."

"I'm sure." Edward smiled softly.

"Well, this is settled so I am going to head out. I need to fill out a report before going home myself."

"I'm sorry about all this." I apologized sadly. "I knew you were off duty, but-"

"I'm your father. I'm glad you called me first." Giving my forehead a kiss. "Edward, I'm trusting you to take care of my family."

"Yes, Sir."

I walked my father out, coming back into the living room to find Edward sitting on the couch, his hands folded under his chin and looking deep in thought. Jacob was still there but gave me a small wave before disappearing from sight. I wasn't sure if he left the house or was only giving Edward and I a bit of privacy.

"I called my Mom and told her what happened. She said the kids fell asleep an hour ago and if you were okay with it, they could just stay there for the night."

"I don't want to put your family out anymore than I already have."

"Bella, you haven't put anyone out." He frowned with a shake of his head.

"Your parents gave me their house to live in, you and Jasper have been working on my behalf in the courts, and now you are going to stay here sleeping on a pull out couch because someone might be a threat! How is that not being a burden?"

"You are paying my parents rent to live in a vacant house that sits on their property, you paid Jasper and I for our services, and I offered to stay here because the thought of something happening to you or the kids tears me apart." His voice cracking slightly when bringing up something harming the kids or I.

"I don't understand what you are doing here."

"I thought I just explained?"

"Why, Edward?" I yelled at him, feeling frustrated. "I've told you before, I have nothing to offer!"

"When you told me that, you named a few other things that aren't relevant not true! Yes, you are three years older than me and have two children. I love your kids and age means nothing! Since then you have sold the house that was nothing more than a burden to you and now living and thriving on your own two feet! You aren't leaning on someone else to make sure your children have a roof over their heads and food in their belly's, you're doing that on your own. You were in a shitty situation and you are slowly rebuilding your life. I see the strong woman standing before me that I always knew you were, she was just hidden and to scared to show herself. No one is stopping you, Jacob isn't here to hold you back. For the first time in years you are able to spread your wings, and I see you doing it a little more with each new day that passes. I can't help but fall for you a little more with each change. I thought you were wonderful before, but now you are beyond words." His hands were outstretched at his sides as he spoke, his stare consuming. "Alice use to tell me about you, for years I would sit on the phone with her and have to listen about her best friend. One she loved, and made me love in return. I would lose my temper right along with her over the crap Jacob put you through, wishing more than anything that I could intervene and try to make you see sense! Alice never could so I don't know why I thought I could but I wanted to try."

He fell to the couch heavily, sighing deeply before continuing, his eyes still locked to mine.

"Then I saw you for the first time and I thought my heart would stop. You were breathtakingly beautiful, with eyes so full of hurt and sadness I wanted to cry for you. I watched your fake smiles, the pain you tried to hide as you interacted with your best friend and children. Two little kids who had me wrapped around their little fingers from the beginning. Maddie with her big brown eyes just like her mother, the same dimples decorating her cheeks. EJ, so full of life and happiness. He could give joy to the saddest person in the world in just five minutes spent with him."

I was speechless, staring at him wordlessly as he just kept talking. Now that he had started, he seemed not to be able to stop the flow of words coming from his mouth, as if he had held it inside bottled up for too long.

"The only thing I am waiting for is for you to see your self worth. Once that happens neither hell nor high water will keep me away from you. I want you to be strong on your own before I give real chase."

"Tonight felt real enough to me." I tried for a playful smile.

"You have no idea what I am capable of, the things I dream about doing to you." His voice low and forbidding.

"Tell me." I whispered, sitting into the chair across from him.

"Tell you what I dream about?"

I nodded.

"I don't think you know what your asking for." He chuckled humorlessly.

"Maybe not, but I want to hear it anyway."

He eyed me, conflict plainly written on his face.

"There are so many things I have dreamed of doing to you, with you." He spoke finally, just when I was thinking he wouldn't give in to my request.

"I imagine what you would look like naked, sprawled out on my bed. No matter how many times I have pictured what your breasts might look like, I'm positive it doesn't even come close to how perfect they look in reality. Imagining them though, I can't help but close my eyes and dream. Tracing your nipples with my tongue, suckling against you, how smooth and soft your skin feels. I want to taste you, to lay between your thighs and breath you in."

"What else?" I whispered when he stopped talking.

"I can't deny I have gotten off more than once over the thought. Thrusting my tongue in and out of you, flicking your clit while you pull at my hair. Your moans, pleading me to continue. Just as you come, sliding my body up yours. Grabbing your hands in mine and holding them above your head as I line myself with you. The looks on your face when I enter you for the first time."

My breathing was labored, his face flushed while he shifted on the couch.

"Shit, Bella. I need to stop before I do something you aren't ready for." He closed his eyes, looking as if he were in pain.

"I'll go find some bedding and help you make up the pull out bed." I mumbled, changing the subject just as he asked.

"Do you mind if I shower?" He asked in a thick voice.

"Of course, this is essentially your home for now."

I hurried out of the room and up the stairs to put a towel in the bathroom for him and went back to the linen closet for sheets and extra blankets. We passed each other on the stairs, sharing a longing look, neither of us saying anything. It was a bit of struggle but after a lot of cursing and a few swiftly kicks, I had the mattress unfolded and began making the bed for him. Turning off all the lights except for the lamp in the living room I headed back upstairs to get myself ready for bed.

"Bella." I heard Edward call out.

The bathroom door was left slightly ajar. I wondered if he needed something so walked over, knocking lightly.

"Edward?"

He let out a strangled moan, causing my eyes to widen. The mirror across from the shower was showing through the crack of the door, my eyes drawn to it as if they instinctively knew what I was going to find. The glass door of the shower was reflected, Edwards naked body clearly visible. He had one hand pressed against the shower tile, his body leaning forward. His ass was on display and perfectly round.

"Shit, Bella." He let out another low moan, causing my eyes to fly up, watching when he threw his head back and began thrusting his hips forward.

I watched in fascination as his hand moved in a steady rhythm, his breathing turning labored. He gasped out, thrusting into his hands before a roar ripped from his throat, his movements slowing to a stop. I held my breath as he turned around, allowing the water to hit his back. His chest was sculpted, his stomach lined, leading straight to a defined v.

A bar of soap landed with a loud thud, causing me to jump and let out a startled yelp. I watched in horror when his eyes flew up to meet my own. Our eyes locked, neither of us speaking. He turned off the faucet, water dripping from his body as he held still. I had a feeling he was waiting, wondering what my next move would be.

So, I ran.

The chicken shit I was, I dived into my bed and threw the covers over my head. I heard him leaving the bathroom, his footsteps stopping outside of my bedroom door.

"Bella?" He called out quietly.

Reluctantly, I lowered the covers right under my nose and looked at him nervously. He stood there, body still damp from the water, a towel hanging from his hips haphazardly. My eyes stayed glued, waiting to see if it would fall till he cleared his throat. Blushing fiercely I quickly averted my gaze and looked up at his face.

"The showers all yours."

"Thank you." I squeaked.

"If you need some help, just yell out." one half of his lips lifting.

As soon as I heard the blankets shuffling from downstairs, I bolted to the bathroom and took the fastest shower possible and still come out clean. Sticking my arm out, reaching for the towel, I came up empty.

"Shit." I hissed.

I had been to worked up over being caught watching Edward that I had forgotten to grab one! I debated on calling to Edward or just simply make a run for it, my body shivering from cold. Not wanting Edward to get satisfaction over my calling for him just as he had told me to do, I decided to run. I climbed out, running as fast as I could on my tip toes. I made it a whole two feet before falling straight on my ass, the thump I made making me consider going on a diet.

"Bella?" Came Edward's panicked voice.

"No, don't! I'm alri-"

For goodness sake! What else could possibly happen to me tonight?

I was too late calling out my response, Edward already at the top of the stairs staring at me wide eyed.

His mouth was hung open, gaping like a fish as his eyes drank me in. They moved leisurely over my body, working their way down slowly and back up.

"I forgot my towel." I stated lamely.

"Oh, right." He nodded exaggeratedly, looking childlike.

"Could you turn around, please?"

"Right." Continuing the nodding.

"Edward! Close your eyes!"

He stayed still, squeezing his eyes shut at once.

Scrambling to my feet I ran for my bedroom, stopping to turn around once I was inside. Edward had turned his head to follow me, one eye cracked open.

"We're even, okay?" I scowled at him.

"Not even close, princess." He smirked. "At least now I don't have to use my imagination."

With that he walked back down the stairs, a pillow flying after him.

"About time you two finished eye fucking!"

"Jacob!" I squealed, running into the closet and shutting the door behind me.

"As if I haven't ever seen you naked." He scoffed.

"I thought you left!"

"I told you, I don't know how this works. I can't come and go at my own pleasure. I came up here so you two could be alone. Do you know how awkward that is? Leaving you alone with another man to have privacy? It's like we're married and I am saying 'Go find some man candy and fuck his brains out.'"

"Don't be so crude. We haven't done anything besides kiss."

"I wouldn't be surprised if that all changed in a matter of hours. The dude was rubbing one out in your shower while calling out your name! These walls aren't very thick, I can hear everything that happens in the room next door."

After pulling his old college t-shirt and a pair of underwear, I opened the door and came back out.

"You are so annoying."

"He's right though. I may or may not have been listening. You are so different than you were when I was alive. I just wish I had been the one to help you get here. Hell, I can't blame the guy when I have a chub of my own."

"You need to leave." I growled, getting into the bed.

"In all seriousness, you need to be careful. Embry keyed that car as soon as you two came into the house. I wanted to scream when neither of you heard the smashing glass, but then I saw why. By the time he was swinging a bat at the car, you two were banging against the wall."

"You were there the whole time? I didn't see you till afterward."

"I was trying to keep my promise to you and figured as long as he kept his distance and Edward was with you..."

"We could have caught him and had him arrested! What am I suppose to say? I can't tell them how I know Embry caused the damaged." I hissed in a whisper.

"When he finished with the car, he started walking up to the house. Bella, I think he saw me." Jacob's voice lowering. "He came toward the house so I went to the front door. When he reached out for the door handle he froze. He was looking straight at me, through me, through me, whatever. I let out a scream, that's when you finally became aware something was going on. He paled and ran off into the woods. You thought it was the car being smashed that you heard, but it was me rattling the windows like a bad ass again."

"You're so cocky, how was I married to you for so long?" I snorted.

"I'm sexy."

"Eh."

"What do you mean, eh? You loved me, you can't deny that. You told me everyday how handsome I was."

"I can count on one hand how many times you returned the sentiment."

I wasn't harsh, just stating the fact, rolling to my side so that my back was facing him.

"Bella." He called out softly. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You took my breath away the first day we met and never stopped. I took you for granted and didn't tell you the things I should have. I can't undo it, but you have to build your self confidence. Don't allow me to ruin any shot you have of a future with that hunk downstairs." He tried lightening the mood, suddenly appearing kneeling on the floor with his face in front of mine. "The guy is hung like a horse." Wiggling his eyebrows ridiculously.

I couldn't hold back a snort of laughter.

"Did you hear? The baby isn't yours."

"I heard." His mood visibly changing. "I told you Bella, something is off about her and Embry."

"I'll help you. We will figure it out. Hey, do you think that's why you're still here?"

"I'd like to say I am being rewarded, being given the pleasure of watching over you even in death. I know that's not true though, I don't deserve any kind of favors."

I let out a yawn.

"Sleep, Bella."

"Are you staying with me?" I asked sleepily, my eyes already closing.

"Not this time." He whispered, disappearing from sight.


	16. Better Man

EPOV

She had no idea that I stood outside her door. I heard her all out, telling me to leave, or at least I had thought it was meant for me. I held my breath, realizing she was talking to herself. The door was cracked slightly, allowing me to hear her every word clearly. She would pause after speaking and act as if she were waiting for a response before talking again. Guilt consumed me, not so much for eavesdropping, but because I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault.

"Are you staying with me?" She asked the empty room.

I was so confused, listening as she went silent.

Was she talking about me? Asking if I was going to stay? It took all my will power to not go into her room and ask her. Part of me wanted to demand answered, but I knew it wasn't my place. I could very well be the reason behind her one sided conversation. After feeling like a total dick for unknowingly allowing her to think something was going on between Jessica and I, I tried to stay away. I knew it was my own fault for not being clear with my intentions, not discussing my odd friendship with her. I was also hurt. I didn't want her seeing me as a man who would purposefully do that to her. I tried to show her repeatedly that I was there for her, for the kids. I'd help her find her own path, not swaying her either way, but to support her in anything she needed or wanted. I wanted her to be strong, to see she could do this on her own. That she didn't need Jacob, or me for that matter, to make a life for her and her kids. I wanted her to know I wanted _her,_ not the position to run her life. I grew weak in the knees when she stood up for herself, loving the spark that shinned in her eyes when she held her head high. I was so proud when she decided to sell the house and managed to find another all on her own. She didn't realize she truly did it herself, thinking my family had more sway than they really had. Rosalie merely mentioned the empty house. It was Bella who went to my parents and asked about renting it. She paid to live here, not allowing my parents to allow her to live there for free out of the goodness of their hearts.

Rosalie informed me she was thinking about sending some of her work to a publisher. She wrote children books for EJ and Maddie since they were born, only now considering doing more with them. No one suggested or encouraged it. She did that all on her own. I kept a bit of distance after feeling like I was forcing my attentions on her. I want her to show me that she is ready. This was all knew to me, not knowing how a person gets over the death of a spouse, if ever, but I vowed to stand beside her and be whatever she needed me to be. A friend, a male figure for EJ and Maddie, or one day being more to her. I wanted everything with her. I wanted to be her friend, her boyfriend, her lover. I wanted to be a father figure for her children. I wanted to take care of the three of them, but not so much that they were dependent on me. I wanted them to need me but still be able to make their own decisions.

I finally admitted I had known about her for a while now. When Alice first started talking to me about her, I listened with a bored ear. Then, her conversation drew me in a little more each time. Soon, my heart broke or swelled for this woman I had never met. I'd laugh with Alice over something EJ or Maddie had said or done. I'd join in on her cussing about Jacob Black. I had never even seen a picture of this mystery Bella, but I knew she deserved more. The night she came to pick up the kids at Alice and Jasper's, my heart stopped upon first sight of her. She was breathtakingly beautiful with the biggest brown eyes I had ever seen, so full of expression I knew she couldn't hide her true feelings. The pain they gave away when she talked of the way Jacob was with the kids. The longing while watching me play with EJ.

Alice and I fought after she left. My sister in-law knew me better than my own brother and warned me to step back. Reminding me that she was a married woman and off limits. Then when Jasper went out for lunch after playing tennis and seeing Jacob with another woman. My blood boiled and Jasper and to hold me back as we watched him kiss and laugh with his mistress while his wife was at home with their children preparing him dinner. Jasper and I got into it when I wanted to tell Bella right away. He vowed to tell her but wanted to talk to Alice and discuss the right way to approach her about what we saw. He said we would just push her away if he blurted it out without thought. I didn't agree with me in the least. No one deserves to be betrayed that way and be left in the dark, especially by someone she considered a friend. I grudgingly kept silent, thinking Jasper knew her better than I did, after all, I had just met her.

Shit did it hurt when she demanded me to leave after finding out Jasper and I knew. The raw pain she showed when Tanya came into the room and shouted out the truth, Jacob unable to tell her the truth as he laid dying in the hospital bed. She had to let him go with unanswered questions, a broken heart that wouldn't get a chance to forgive or tell him to fuck off. Of course, what did I do? I allowed my lust to take over and make a move before she was ready, then had a little tantrum when she pushed me away. Alice reamed me a new one, saying things I already knew were true. I apologized to her, but I couldn't seem to control myself around her. I felt like an addict, unable to subside my desires. Whenever she was near I lost all sense of reason and felt like someone needing their next fix. Her smell was intoxicating, her looks exotic. The sound of her voice sent chills through my body. Her laugh made my heart skip a beat. Watching her with EJ and Maddie made me long to see her round with my child. I already knew she ruined me for any other woman. I wanted her. Forever. To wake up each morning with her in my arms. I wanted to see her walk toward me wearing a white dress, vowing to spend the rest of her life with me.

I felt crazed, all these things running through my head when we hadn't known each other for very long. I just knew, I knew she was the one, my other half. I always scoffed at Rose when she talked about falling in love with Emmett right away, told her there was no such thing as love at first sight. I put my foot in m mouth when I saw Bella. I had thought myself entranced from just the stories Alice told, I was consumed when I finally met her. EJ was so open, full of life. I loved making him laugh, the twinkle in his eyes when I took the time to listen and play with him. Maddie was a little minx, smiling softly and batting her eyelashes to get her way, which I willingly gave. If he wasn't already dead, I'd beat the shit out of Jacob Black after hearing the things EJ said, the way his father made him feel so unwanted. I wasn't sure if it was done purposefully or if he really had been that clueless about his family's needs.

I made up my mind and opened the door a little wider, prepared to walk in when I froze. A blast of cold air wrapped around me, my legs unable to move forward. My breath caught in my chest from the shock of the sudden temperature change. Just as quickly, it was gone.

 _Go to her..._

The words fly around my head, as if they were actually spoke by some invisible identity. It was so believable I couldn't stop myself from looking around the dark hall. The shadows were almost suffocating, making it difficult to breath, my heart pounding.

 _Go to her..._

My mind repeated, my ears ringing as I listened to the soundless voice whispering into them.

 _Go to her..._

Again it sounded as I stepped forward, now entering her bedroom.

 _Go..._

It sounded when I was standing beside the bed, looking down at her sleeping form hugging a pillow to her chest. I didn't think, moving in a trance as I pulled back the edge of the sheet and slid into the bed beside her.

"Edward." She sighed.

I held my breath, waiting for her to send me away, to scream and demanding to know what the hell I thought I was doing.

She did none of those things. Instead, her arms wrapped around me and snuggled against me. Her eyes fluttered open, not looking shocked over my presence in her bed.

"Bella." I whispered.

Our lips moved as if a magnet drew them together.

Soft, gentle, unhurried as we explored each others taste. Her hands smoothed over my bare chest, one of mine under her body and resting on her lower back, the other against her cheek. The cold that previously consumed me slowly drifted away, leaving me with a consuming warmth. My body tingled, almost hurting with the want I had for her. I wasn't looking for sex, I only wanted to hold her, kiss her. I needed to be close to her just as badly as I needed air to breath.

"You're here." She whispered.

"Always." I answered.

We fell asleep with our arms clinging to the other desperately, our lips separating only because of sleep.

 _Take care of her... Love her..._

The invisible words sounded again, this time without the chill they caused before.

* * *

I awoke, the sun filling the room with bright sunlight, dust particles floating in the air around me. I was warm, feeling content as I snuggled deeper into the pillows. Breathing deeply, I caught the scent that could only be described as Bella. My eyes widened slightly, recalling the events of the night before. Now that I was in daylight, I felt foolish imagining a mysterious voice whispering to me in the dark of the night. My heart hurt to look at her. She was so incredibly beautiful as she slept, her pouting lips forming a soft circle, her chest raising and lowering with each slow breath. This was what my dreams were made of as of late. Waking to this beautiful siren. She was calling to me, making it difficult not to fulfill my desires. My breath hitched when I saw her eyes flutter open, looking at me with confusion before calming and smiling softly.

"Good morning." her voice husky with sleep.

"It is, indeed." I murmured, unable to look away from her red lips.

I couldn't stop my dick from twitching when she sucked in a breath knowingly.

"You came to me." Her brows furrowing. "I was dreaming of you and then you were there."

"You are the star of my dreams as soon as my eyes close." I admitted.

We were silent after that, staring into each others eyes, our hands rubbing softly where they rested on the other. No matter how badly I wanted her, this was enough. To feel her in my arms, her eyes searching my own, soft caresses against bare skin.

"This is nice." She blushed lightly.

"It's perfect." Unable to resist the need to feel her lips.

The same as the night before, there was no rush. As her tongue brushed across mine, she turned slightly, bringing me with her. Moving to her back, my body pressed over hers. I couldn't hold in a moan as her nails grazed my back, sliding my body up and down hers slowly. She lifter her legs, wrapping them around mine. The only thing separating our bodies were her thing underwear and the boxer briefs I was straining against. I felt her nipples straining through her t-shirt against my chest as we slid against one another.

"Edward." She whimpered, circling her hips.

I picked up my pace, pressing my lower body against hers harder.

"I want you." She gasped, moving a hand under her and pulling at her underwear. I never moved my body from hers, feeling her leave them tangled around her knees before she lifted her hands under the waist of my boxers.

"Bella." I hissed from her contact.

I allowed her to pull me free, leaving them bunched underneath my balls, pushing them up. Her hands pressed against my ass, pushing me against her. We both groaned from the contact, her wet folds sliding against my sensitive skin. I wasn't even inside her and I knew I wouldn't last. Her heat, her wetness, the noises she was making as she ground against me. I thrust up, making sure the tip of my erection pushed against her small nub of sensitive nerves each time. She started withering, gasping with short, quick breaths. I knew she was close, crashing my lips back to her just as she screamed out with release. She was trembling still when she lowered her hand, one more wrapping her small hand around me and pumping up and down. It was my turn to breath erratically, her touch making it impossible to prolong the feeling of pure rapture.

"Bella." I dragged out, jolting with each release.

We were both breathing hard, our bodies shaking.

"We should shower." She suggested quietly. "I'm sticky."

I couldn't hold back my laughter, laying my forward against her shoulder when she joined in.

* * *

 **BPOV**

I sipped my coffee, my body shuddering as I thought of how his hands felt gliding over my soapy body in the shower only an hour ago. Closing my eyes, I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm my hormones. I craved him, wanted him. He didn't attempt to have sex with me even though I was trying to show I was more than willing. I think he was trying not to pressure me, assuring me that he would move at my own pace. I didn't know how to tell him I was ready to run full speed ahead.

Esme and Carlisle called and asked if they could bring the kids out to breakfast. They truly enjoyed spending time with EJ and Maddie, acting as surrogate grandparents and the kids ate it up.

"Your father called, there still aren't any leads." Edward announced, walking into the kitchen and filling up his mug.

 _Tell him..._

I looked around, thinking I would see Jacob standing beside me or leaning against a wall. He was no where to be found.

 _Bella, tell him what Embry said..._

"Why can't I see you?" I whispered, eyeing Edward to make sure his back was still facing me.

There was no response except for a cool breeze.

"Edward, do you remember when Embry came to my house that night?"

He turned around to face me, stirring his coffee.

"Yes." He frowned, watching me quizzically.

"You said I was hiding something from you. I don't know why I didn't tell you, why I didn't tell anyone. I didn't think about it again after we fought, but last night..."

"Bella, what are you trying to say?"

"I think he threatened me. I don't really know..."

"Tell me what he said." He demanded, his face hardening.

"He said he would hate for my kids to lose both their parents. He told me to be careful when I refused to stop the case against Tanya."

He was silent, red crawling up his face.

"Edward?"

"Fuck!" He screamed, throwing his cup into the sink.

I cringed, thinking his anger was directed at me.

"Bella, don't hide from me." His voice low and full of command.

His arms wrapped around my shoulders, turning me to face him once more.

"What else did he say?"

"N-nothing."

"Has he tried contacting you since?"

"No."

He closed his eyes and exhaled heavily.

"We need to call your Dad. Bella, you should have told someone sooner."

"I'm sorry." My voice trembling.

"Don't be upset." He whispered, giving me a long, sweet kiss. "I'm sorry if you thought I was angry with you. I'm only worried about your safety and what exactly Embry Black's interest is in all of this."

"Do you think he did that to your car?"

"I think it's a strong possibility. There is one thing I'm sure of, though."

"What's that?"

"I'm not leaving this house until you send me away."

"Maybe I don't want to send you away."

"Then I'll stay forever."

Is tongue tasted like sweetened coffee and toothpaste, his hands all over my body. Every time he was near me, touching me, I became consumed, needing more.

"I want you so badly!" I cried out as his lips attacked my neck.

"How bad?" He growled, pushing his erection into me.

"Please." I whimpered.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"I want you to fu-"

"Knock-knock!"

Esme's voice carried out from the front door, the kids squealing as they raced into the house. Edward let out a gargled sound from his throat before cracking his neck and turning to face EJ and Maddie who threw themselves at him.

"How's my favorite girl?" Edward sang, sweeping Maddie into his arms and kissing her cheek soundly.

"Did you have fun with Esme and Carlisle, EJ?"

"They showed me your baseball card collection!" He chirped happily, bouncing on his toes.

"I'll have to bring them over here, we can start your own card collection."

"Cool!"

I received quick hugs but they were attached to Edward, following him into the living room after he promised to teach them how to play checkers.

"He's so wonderful with them." Esme smiled, watching her son lovingly.

"He is." Smiling when Maddie burst out in giggles over Edward tickling her sides when she tried to move a checker piece without him seeing.

"How was last night?" She asked, her eyes twinkling.

"It was fine." Avoiding her face.

"he didn't complain about the pull out bed?"

"No, he said it was comfortable, slept like a rock."

"Funny." She smirked. "That thing is hard as a rock and Edwards can't sleep on anything but an extra soft mattress."

I tried to stutter out a response, making me look even more guilty.

"I'm only teasing." She laughed lightly. "There is nothing better for a mother than seeing her child happy. You make him happy, Bella."

"He's made me happy too." I sighed.

There was a slight breeze, the feel of cool lips touching my cheek for a split second. I felt the urge to move, as if I were being pushed from behind till I was beside Edward and my children.

"Play with us Mama!" Maddie pleaded.

I sat across the table from Edward, Maddie in my lap and EJ in his as we played game after game of checkers with the kids squealing with delight when he or I had a fit about losing or did a dance in victory after winning. Edward looked at me as EJ moved a piece without prompt, his eyes shinning with happiness and a warm smile on his lips.

My heart fluttered and I just knew.

This was where I was suppose to be.


	17. Lay Low

My father was becoming agitated with what little the police station was able to pull up on Embry. He couldn't find any connection to his involvement with Jacob's accident or how he was connected to Tanya or why he had any interest in the outcome of our previous court case. There was nothing to charge him with and no reason to call him in for questioning. The only choice we had right now was to wait and see what he might do next. I felt like a sitting duck, waiting for the hunter to shoot his gun and send his dog after me. It was beyond exasperating feeling like I had to constantly look over my shoulder for some invisible threat. Edward refused to go back to his own home until we could figure out Embry's part in everything that has happened, much to the delight of my children. He was like a puzzle piece that had been formerly missing. He helped take care of them during the day, putting them in bed with me at night. He ate dinner with us, sometimes cooking for us himself. Alice couldn't be more pleased, dropping more than subtle hints at us whenever she came by to visit. Rosalie giving me knowing looks which left me with a red face from embarrassment. Esme and Carlisle were very diplomatic about our living arrangement. They never brought up why he was still there, what was going on between Edward and I. They simply acted as if nothing was out of the norm and accepted what was. It took him a week before he returned to work, finally caving into my nagging effort to get him to return to his normal routine. As normal as it could be with him sleeping on my couch, anyway.

It was now three weeks since he 'moved in'. The kids were at school, Edward at work, and I was sitting at my desk working on an illustration from one of the pages of my book that I was working on. I only had two more pages to draw up before sending it into a publisher I had found who agreed to work with me. They weren't a well known company, but seemed eager to see my finished product and go from there. Sitting there, shading in the jungle scene I had been working on, my skin broke out in goosebumps. My pencil stilled, my body hyper aware of my surroundings. Something was off, the air seemed chilled, the feel of a presence looming over me. My first thought was of Jacob but he had all but disappeared, only a few whispered words from him when he apparently felt I needed a bit of encouragement. He went from an absentee husband and father, to an overbearing ghost, and now my biggest supporter. Jacob seemed pleased enough with my new relationship with Edward. He was either leaving us alone by choice or whatever might be calling him away. I knew something unwelcome was in my home, but it wasn't him.

"Isabella."

Embry.

"What are you doing here?" I asked without turning.

"You aren't in the position to ask questions. Get up and walk to the door, don't try to make any rash decisions. Someone is watching the school where your children are tucked safely inside their classrooms. Try to fight me and they will be there to greet them at the end of the day."

I felt something sharp press against my back, causing me to wince and flinch forward.

"Up." He demanded again, pressing the foreign object a bit harder against me.

Slowly I got to my feet, walking with hesitant steps. Only a few feet away, I heard the sound of a car door shutting and gravel crunching underneath hurried steps.

"You better get rid of whoever that is." Embry hissed, hearing what I had.

I knew who it was without needing to look. How was I going to convince him to leave?

"Go to the door, don't forget I will be right around the corner." He threatened, showing me his phone with a number light up and ready to be dialed.

It would be hard, but I had to do it for EJ and Maddie's safety. With my heart in my throat, I prepared myself as best I could for what I was about to do and opened the door. Edward blinked and stepped back in surprise, his hand out reached for the door handle he had been about to turn.

"Bella." He sighed, smiling warmly.

His eyes were shinning with happiness, pure love radiating from him.

"Edward." I whimpered, clearing my throat.

This wouldn't work if I sounded weak. I couldn't allow Embry to hurt my children or Edward.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, hardening my voice as my heart broke.

"What do you mean?" Giving me a quizzical look.

"This isn't your home. You can't just come and go as you please!"

"Bella, have I done something wrong?" He sounded so similar to EJ when I reprimanded him.

"This has gone on long enough, I wont be pushed around any longer. Go home, Edward!"

"I'm not leaving till you tell me what is going on." He stated firmly.

"How else can I say that I don't want you?" He winced as if I punched him in the gut, my own stomach rolling. "You were good as a distraction, helping me get over Jacob, but nothing else. You've served your purpose, I have no use for your presence in my life any longer."

"You can't be serious." His voice breaking. "Bella, please, tell me what's wrong. These things you're saying, this isn't you." He pleaded, reaching out to grab my hands.

"You don't know me, Edward." I snapped, pulling my hands back. If he touched me I wouldn't be able to go through with this. "I want you to leave. Don't come here again unless I invite you. You're just like Jacob was. Controlling, trying to run my life, and make my decisions for me. You made me realize I could still be wanted, now it's time for me to stand on my own two feet. I don't need you to protect me or try to take over Jacob's place. The kids had a father, they don't need you filling in for him. I don't need a man to survive."

"I've never tried to dictate your life or make you feel less than the strong woman you are. Where is this all coming from?" His spirit looked broken, confusion clouding his eyes.

"I had some time to think this afternoon. I've decided it's time, there is no reason for this to continue."

"This?" He spit out, pointing a finger back and forth between us. " _This_ isn't just some fling to me! I wouldn't have pursued something with you if I thought I was nothing more than a temporary replacement!" Pain evident in his voice, I didn't know how much longer I could continue with my charade.

I wasn't sure what hurt more, to see him hurting from my words or the fact he was appearing to believe them.

"That's exactly what you were, and I'm over it. Please, just go." My voice ending in a whisper.

"If you send me away, I wont come crawling back to you. I've warned you before, I don't play games, Isabella. You aren't hurting only me, what about the kids?"

"Goodbye, Edward." This time unable to stop the tears from filling my eyes as my heart shattered.

"I hope you figure out how to be happy. Good luck with your life." He glared, turning away from me without another word.

He got into his car and stared at me for a long pause before starting his car and driving off, gravel flying from beneath his back tires.

"Good girl." Embry practically purred in my ear, sneaking silently from the corner he had hid in.

"Why are you doing this?" Allowing my tears to fall now that Edward was safely out of sight.

"I warned you not to continue to fight. I'm not the one you really need to worry about." I could hear the smile in his voice.

He was enjoying this, his twisted mind gaining a thrill from scaring me. He already threatened my children's safety and made me push Edward away. What else did I have left for him to take?

"Are you talking about Tanya?"

"Please, that bitch is only good at opening her legs." he snickered. "Lock the door, make it look like you left voluntarily."

"Jacob!" I screamed out, my knees growing week.

I waited, expecting the rattle of windows, the roar of his temper. Unlike the last times, everything was silent. I thought there was a distant moan but that could have been my imagination. He didn't appear and I was alone with his crazy cousin.

Embry gripped my upper arm in one hand, the other still pressing something against me. I couldn't tell if it was a knife or the side of a gun.

"Shut up! He's gone and so is your boy toy, no one is going to help you. Now move your ass!"

He dragged me outside and around the back of the house into the woods.

"Where are we going?"

"I told you to shut up."

After what I guessed to be twenty minutes of walking, my legs and arms cut up from tree branches and vines covered in thorns, we came to a clearing that boasted an underused dirt road. There was a black SUV parked there, nothing but trees and thin strips of soil around us.

"Bet you didn't know this was here." He sounded proud of himself. "No one uses it anymore, the roads been left forgotten by everyone. Made it easy to watch you without being seen coming or going."

"You _were_ the one to trash Edwards car." I accused. "You couldn't have done that yourself, who helped you?"

"Enough with the questions, you'll get your answers soon enough."

He pushed me into the back of the SUV, the windows tinted so I couldn't be seen from the outside by any passerby's.

"Don't try to escape. Remember, I'm only one phone call away from someone who is waiting for your brats."

"Why would you want to hurt them? They are your family."

"Like Jacob was?" He scoffed. "The guy ditched his family as fast as he could."

He started the car, turning the music loud enough my ears rang, assuming it was so he couldn't hear me ask him anymore questions. I stared out the window, trying to figure out where we were going. I didn't recognize anything around me though having never known about this back road till now.

"The reservation?" I gasped once the trees cleared.

We came out onto the main road that went past the beach and ended in a small circle of worn houses. Jacob only brought me to this section of town a handful of times, embarrassed by his poor upbringing. I always reassured him that it didn't matter to me, I hadn't grown up in a affluent household, but it meant something to him. He always craved for the better when he was growing up and it never changed as he grew and achieved his accomplishments. Nothing was ever enough for him, he always left wanting more.

We parked in front of a house that sat only two houses away from the one Jacob had grown up in.

"Who lives here?"

Again he stayed silent, pulling on me to get out of the car. My arm was already sore from his manhandling, I could feel the bruises forming. He pushed me through the door of the house, slamming it shut behind him.

"Enough with the dramatics." A dark voice snickered.

I knew that voice, but I was unable to pin point from where or whom. A tall man stepped forward, my eyes widening in shock and confusion. I remembered him from Billy's funeral. The only reason he was significant enough to hold a place in my memory was because of how much he looked like Jacob, they were eerily similar. When I asked Jacob about it he only grew angry and told me the man was no one important. I later found out from Embry that he was Jacob's cousin, from his mothers side of the family.

"Why am I here?" I asked when I finally found my voice.

"Why don't you have a seat, Isabella? We have some things to discuss."

"Fuck you." I hissed, ripping my arm out of Embry's grasp.

"Very unladylike. I'm sure Jacob would be displeased if he were here, but alas, he's not." He smiled cruelly. "Sit." He demanded, his face turning dark within a blink of an eye.

I walked to the chair he was pointing at and sat, not wanting to antagonize him any further, fearful of my children's safety if I didn't comply.

"I don't believe we have formally met. My name is Sam."

"You're Jacob's cousin." I stated, hoping to sound like I wasn't as in the dark as I truly was.

"His cousin." He sneered. "To everyone outside of the walls of this house, I was his cousin. Inside, it's a different story. My mother beat me daily for reminding her so much of my father, inflicting pain onto me for the hurt he caused her. I look just like him, you see. I am even his first son, though obviously not as important as his legitimate one."

"I don't understand."

"No, you wouldn't. I do have some requests that I think you will grasp, though."

"What could you possibly want from me? None of this makes any sense."

"Your husband was a bragger. He loved to come visit his pitiable relations and brag about everything he achieved, what he was able to buy and provide you with while we scraped together pennies. Right after he bought that house for you to live in, my mother found out she had cancer. I sucked up my pride and went begging to my _cousin_. He was the beneficiary to everything his father left behind upon his death, along with his new job."

"Billy didn't leave him anything but the house and a small savings." I wrinkled my forehead, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"A small savings to you and Jacob, perhaps!" He screamed before relaxing into his chair once more. "That meager savings would have covered half my mothers medical costs. Instead she worked herself to death trying to pay the debt, instead following the recovery time instructed by the doctors, she ended up dying while cleaning some rich woman's bath tub! I asked your husband for help and he had the nerve to laugh!"

"He would never do such a thing." I denied, shaking my head in denial.

"Your perfect Jacob told me he wouldn't give me a dime and to never step foot on his property again. Called my mother a whore! Everything he had should have belonged to me." He snarled.

A cry from a baby filled the house, a familiar face entering the room.

"He misses his Papa."

"Tanya!"

She only narrowed her eyes at me, leaning down to pass the baby she held to Sam.

"You're the baby's father?"

"You were suppose to be gullible enough to accept the baby as Jacob's. The way he described his wife, I expected you to be weak and submissive. I never planned on you fighting your way out of the will." Sam stated as if we were discussing something as simple as the weather. "We reached the topic sooner than I thought we would." He smiled. "It's rather simple, really. I want whatever money Jacob left. We planned meticulously, thanks to you everything went haywire."

"You don't even deserve anything from Jacob!"

"I deserve everything he had! It could have been me who went on to a fancy college and earned a law degree! Instead I had to stay in this shit hole and work as a mechanic, supporting my mother who couldn't give two shits about me!" The baby screaming now from the yelling. "Billy Black was my father. He slept with my mother a week before marrying her sister." He revealed, shocking me into silence. "Billy denied everything and my mothers family made her an outcast, wanting nothing to do with her or her bastard. He never claimed me as his own till his death bed." His eyes menacing.

"You're Jacobs brother?" I felt as if my world was on a tilt.

"I was hoping my child would have enough DNA to pass off as Jacob's." He smiled. "Either way, you will give me what I want. Our your own children will suffer."

 **EPOV**

I had to stop at my parents, parking my car in their driveway as my emotions took over. I barely got the door opened in time while my stomach heaved, emptying itself on the pavement.

"Edward?" My mother called from the doorway.

I listened as her feet quickened in their pace, turning into a run.

"Baby, are you alright?" Her hands gripping my shoulders, trying to steady my swaying form.

"She used me." I slurred, positive she couldn't understand me.

"Take a breath, I can't understand you, Sweetheart."

My body was shaking, teeth clanging together. I had never felt like this before. Even when our dog passed away when we were children, this devastation was incomparable.

"Mom, I love her!" I finally got out, allowing her arms to wrap around me.

"What happened?" She cooed, running a hand through my hair.

"I don't know, everything was going fine till this afternoon. She said she didn't want me, that I was a distraction to help her move on."

"That doesn't sound like her."

"Mom, don't make it worse." I whined like a child.

"Come inside, we will talk more. You're in no condition to drive."

"Give me a minute?" I asked weakly, knowing I didn't have enough strength to get to my feet yet.

"Of course. I'm going to call Alice to check on Bella, is that alright?"

I nodded, closing my eyes and leaning back in my seat. I heard a thump, thinking it was my mother closing the door. I blew out a deep breath, trying to stop the pain in my chest. Another thump came, annoyance quickly filling me. I just wanted to be left alone!

"What?" I bellowed, looking through my windshield.

I never expected to see what I did.

My eyes widened, blood freezing in my veins.

I had to be losing my mind.

Standing in front of my car, his foot thrown back before kicking it out into the bumper of my car, was Jacob Black.

"What the fuck, what the fuck. _What. The. Fuck_."

"You were suppose to keep her safe, dip shit! I was ready to leave for good and allow you to take over!" He screamed once he saw my eyes were on him. "I'm never going to be able to let her move on if you keep allowing your self doubt and pity to rule all your decisions! Grow a fucking back bone!"

Adrenalin filled my body. I was out of my car and standing inches from him in a matter of seconds.

"Why the fuck are you to say anything? You cheated on her and ignored the kids so much they think you didn't like them!" I shoved at his shoulders, pissed that he didn't budge.

"You were all self assured and the one time she really needs you, you can't see through her! Embry has her!"

"What?" I blinked, taking a step back.

"He was there at the house, I couldn't even make myself appear to her. It took me this long to be seen since he arrived."

"She's seen you, then?"

"This isn't the time for this conversation. Get in the car, I'll tell you where to go."

He was gone, I twirled in a panicked circle trying to find him again.

"Edward?" My mother stuck her head out the door, looking at me worriedly.

"Ma, did Alice get a hold of Bella?"

"She said there was no answer."

My car horn honked behind me, making me scream out in surprise.

"You better get that looked at!" My mother yelled out.

I turned around to see Jacob staring at me from the passenger seat with impatience.

I ran back to the car and got in, ignoring my mothers calls, and sped down the driveway.

"Where?" I asked, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

I'm talking to a dead man.

I'm losing my fricken mind.

I'm going to be committed to a loony bin.

"What are you exactly? How are you even here?"

"That's a good question." He hummed.

"I need a better explanation than that! I'm seeing and having a conversation with my girlfriends dead husband!"

"I don't know what I am!" He yelled. "All I know is I woke up and no one could see me but Maddie, and soon after Bella."

"No one else can see you?"

"Take a left." He pointed to a side road. "Alice has seen me a couple of times, I think Embry did the night he trashed your car."

"You were there?"

"Dude, I saw you beat off in my wife's bathroom.

We both cringed from that confession.

"Where did that dude go? The one with all the confidence? How could you not see she was lying today?"

"I don't know." I murmured.

"She cares about you more than I think she ever did for me." He said quietly. "I've never seen her as happy as she has been these last few weeks with you."

"So Embry really was the one at the house that night?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yup, him and Sam. He was at the house today. He threatened the kids safety if she didn't get rid of you and leave with him."

"What does he want with her?"

"I have no idea. I don't control when and where I appear, it just happens. I tried to make myself visible, but I only saw visions of where he was taking her and then, bam, I'm standing in front of your car as you have a melt down."

"I need to call the chief. If he really kidnapped her, we have no idea what he has planned." I stated, reaching for my phone that sat in the cup holder.

He answered on the third ring.

"Chief, Embry took Bella. I'm on my way to her now- where are we going?" I questioned Jacob, realizing I never asked.

"The reservation. Tell him to meet you near Billy's old house."

"The reservation, Billy's house." I spit out, hanging up before he could respond.

"Did you just hang up on Charlie?"

"i couldn't exactly explain how I know any of this." I growled.

"He would have cut off my balls if I ever did that to him."

"Yeah, well, from what I've heard, you didn't exactly treat his daughter well."

"Ouch." He winced. "Right there, see the black SUV? She's in the house with them."

"Them?"

"Embry, Sam, and Tanya."

"What the fuck is Tanya doing here?"

"How am I suppose to know?"

I parked around a bend, keeping my car hidden, and sprinted to the house, squatting to peek through a window. The walls and glass were thing, allowing me to hear everything a man was screaming at Bella who was sitting in a chair.

"He fell, hook, line, and sinker, for Tanya. It was almost too easy. We didn't plan on him insisting on condoms the few times they had sex. He tried ending after the second time. The first was at their office, and the second was a planned meeting. He said he couldn't do that to you again. To say he was surprised when she called him and told him she was pregnant is diminishing his true devastation. He tried everything, paying her off, saying the kid couldn't be his. Of course, it wasn't." The man laughed.

"It was between Embry and myself, we both did our best to knock her up. Sometimes sharing her after one of us just finished."

I cringed, picturing what he just described.

"Maybe you could pay off your debt that way." He purred, standing up and trailing his finer across her cheek.

"Bella!" I screamed, banging on the window.

Before I could react, someone gripped my neck from behind, a gun pushed against my temple.

"Get off me!"

"Cooperate or we'll kill her."

 _Embry_.

I allowed him to guide me into the house, pushing me to my knees at Bella's feet.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, the sound of the guns trigger being pulled back filling my ears.


	18. Earned it

The air was cold, my arms breaking out in goosebumps from the chill as the vents above me forced out another gust. The smell of antiseptics and cleaning products was making my stomach churn. Only the sounds of hushed whispers, machines beeping, and feet rushing here and there reached my ears. With my head bowed, I prayed for everyone involved, regardless of their good or evil doings.

"Isabella Black?" A doctor approached, giving me a questioning look.

"Yes?" I answered in a raspy voice, hoarse with over use of the crying I had done earlier.

"I was informed to give you updates on the patient. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but he's gone."

My knees grew weak and I feel back into my seat.

 _He as gone._

X

I screamed out, squeezing my eyes shut so I wouldn't have to witness the horror that was about to take place. The gun pressed against Edward's head the last thing I saw, what I would see every time my eyes closed for the rest of my life.

"You stupid Prick!"

"Jacob?" I gasped, reopening my eyes to see my deceased husband giving Edward a murderous look.

"You sure know how to pick them, Bells." He grumbled, his arm swinging out and hitting the arm Embry was holding the gun in.

Embry screamed out, bullets flying through Jacob's form and embedding into the wall near the still open front door.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Sam bellowed, jumping to his feet.

I glanced at Tanya and saw her squeezing the crying baby to her chest, eyes wide in fright.

"Can't you see him?" Embry asked with a wild expression, his armed hand flying out crazily around his head.

"Lower the gun!" Sam yelled, ducking slightly.

"Why would you scream and bang on the window, risking not only your life, but Bella's? For being smart enough to be a lawyer, you are severely lacking common sense, if you even have any at all!" Jacob continued to yell at Edward.

"I didn't think! I just saw Bella with a gun pointed at her and reacted." Edward winced over his own foolishness.

"Well now we have you and her to get out of this!"

"Who is he talking to?" Sam asked no one in particular, looking at Edward uneasily. "This kid has lost it."

"It's Jacob! He's standing right there!" Embry insisted.

"Don't make me shoot you too! Jacob is dead, you know this!"

"I know, he's like a ghost or something! I thought I imagined it before, but he's really here!"

"Why can't he see you?" I whispered, watching the scene of the two men with guns looking at each other in a craze.

Jacob let out a roar, shaking the floors under our feet.

"You worthless bastard! You killed me and continue to threaten my wife and kids over money!"

It was like a light switch; you could tell the moment Sam was able to see Jacob. He grew pale and stumbled backwards, falling over the chair he had previously vacated. With his arms thrown into the air as he fell, he shot rapidly. Edward flung himself forward, knocking us both to the floor with him covering me from any stray shots. Tanya's screams echoed around the room and I listed my head enough to see her fall to the ground.

"Edward, the baby!"

"Shit." He hissed, army crawling to where she lay, blood quickly pooling under her.

He unwound her arms from around the baby and hugged him close, returning to me quickly.

"Edward, get out of here while they are distracted!" Jacob demanded, standing over Sam.

"Embry, don't let them leave!" Sam ordered, struggling to get to his feet and keeping his eyes on Jacob.

"I'm not going near them!" Embry cried out, turning to run out the door himself.

Before anyone could blink Sam shot his gun again, this time aiming at Embry. Edward tried to turn me before I could see, but it was too late. I cried out when he was hit in his right shoulder, falling forward in a heap.

"I don't know what you are, but I do know you're dead!" Sam sneered, back on his feet and taking a step toward Edward and I.

Edward jumped to his feet, shoving the baby into my arms and pushing us behind him, walking all three of us backward toward the door.

"Don't move." Sam smiled evilly, aiming the gun at us.

"Sam, there is no money! I exaggerated to make myself look good, to make you feel worse." Jacob began, stepping in front of us. "I now know you were wronged, not me. Dad should never have denied you, I shouldn't have felt threatened by you and taunted you. I should have helped you when you needed it."

"Too little, too late, little brother. You spent all the money that should have been mine, luckily you're here to witness me killing your wife." He sneered.

He took aim again, only to howl in pain when bullets whistled past us through the windows, his arm showing two holes where bullets had gone straight through.

"Let's go!" Edward urged me forward.

"It's Charlie, he's out there with another squad car." Jacob informed us. "Hurry!"

X

Edward was with the baby in the pediatric ward, getting him checked over and making sure he wasn't hurt when Tanya fell with him in her arms. Sam was handcuffed to a hospital bed while getting stitched up, Tanya was dead on scene. There was no one else, so I sat in the waiting area to hear the outcome of Embry after they rushed him into surgery.

I was ashamed to admit I felt relief over hearing that he wasn't going to come after me again, that he was no longer a threat. I was also saddened over the loss of a life. He was Jacob's cousin, one that Jacob had loved and been betrayed by. Embry was a greedy man who allowed Sam to manipulate him over the hopes of money. Money at the expense of Jacob's life, and possibly mine and our children's.

I shook the doctors hand and walked slowly toward the elevators, going to the floor Edward was on.

I watched silently from the doorway as Edward held the baby, making faces that caused him to laugh out in amusement. He finally noticed me and grew somber, motioning me to come forward with an outstretched arm. I eagerly accepted his comfort and snuggled my face into the crook of his arm.

"He didn't make it." I whispered, feeling the kiss he gave the top of my head.

"My mom called, she said she would bring the kids home whenever you were ready."

"I owe her more than I can possibly repay."

"She's happy to do it."

"I owe you too."

"I didn't do anything but cause more of a distraction." His chest rumbled with quiet laughter. "Jacob saved us, along with your fathers good timing."

"What are they going to do with this little guy?"

"I want to talk to you about that."

I pulled back to look up at him, seeing his bottom lip jutting out slightly as he looked at me with deep thought.

"What is it?"

"He doesn't have a father or mother to look after him and I ate the idea of him going into foster care."

"Where are you going with this?" I asked with slight hesitation.

"I am going to file the appropriate paperwork for temporary guardianship and see what I have to do to officially adopt him."

"Are you serious?" I gasped out in shock.

"I understand if this is too much for you. I know you feared he was Jacob's child, and he ended up having parents who killed Jacob and tried to harm you. He's just a child, innocent in all the evil that has surrounded us all, including him. There's a pull, something telling me I need to help him. I don't think I can rest easy with my life always wondering what happened to him, where he is and if he is being treated kindly." His eyes were soft, now looking down at the baby who was falling asleep as Edward rocked him in his arms. "I don't expect you to help or even stick around. I just needed to tell you my plans."

"Do you think that little of me?"

"In case you decide not to run away screaming," He continued, as if he hadn't heard me speak. "I want to once more open up my home to you. I now know that my house was the one you truly wanted. I feel like it was fate telling me to buy it, that it could possibly be _our_ home. If you still want me, I will back off and only say that when you need me, I'll be there. If and when you are ready to move in, we will do it together and create a family for all three kids. I will be whatever you need. A friend, a boyfriend, a significant other, or even just a male figure for EJ and Maddie. Bella, I care about you. Fuck, if we are being real here, I've fallen head over heels in love with you. I just want you to be happy, and whatever I can do to help you achieve it, I will do and I will be."

"Are you done?"

He looked at me, his eyes skittish, turning to wonder upon seeing the amusement playing on my lips. He nodded slowly, his eyes not leaving mine.

"I want you. I don't know if I am ready to move in with you right now, but I know I want to one day. I want you in my day to day life, in EJ and Maddie's life. I want us to raise these three kids together and show them what a happy home really is."

"Your speed." He whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

"My speed." I agreed. "I love you too."

His eyes bugged in response right before I raised to my tip toes and planted my lips firmly against his.

"Good girl." I heard Jacob whisper, and I knew that would be the last I would hear from or see of Jacob Black.


End file.
